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2023.02.03 05:36 Charming_Bard Should I be more passionate?

For context: I am in my 5th semester (out of 8) as a CS undergraduate student and before university I had no real contact with the field.
On to my main question...should I be more passionate?
Meaning...I see a lot of other students that see CS more as a hobby, don't take me wrong, I like to check up on things too from time to time and especially when a course will need it, but I am nowhere near spending the amount of time that some others do.
To add more to this, I was told I would need to, sooner than later, start my own projects, but I don't think I have the time to do so during a semester, because that time could be spent on assignments and during holidays I never actually start one.
Although I have seen myself improve vastly since 2 years ago when I started, and I like CS, I always have in the back of my mind that I am not cut out for it, or that maybe I am just too lazy.
I am nearing my final year and was looking to maybe go on to a Cyber Security masters but anyone I have discussed it with has told me "it's too hard and will need a lot of passion to put in the hours.".
So, should I be more passionate? Am I doing this wrong? Any advice on what I might be doing wrong?
TLDR: I feel like I am not as passionate as other students about the field although I, at least believe, I like it.
submitted by Charming_Bard to AskComputerScience [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:36 JustCallMeTsukasa-96 I REALLY don't want to be forced into using iOS 16 right now...

Just earlier today my iPhone 11 Pro Max was working perfectly fine while on iOS 15.7 up to the point where it just wasn't necessary to update it to iOS 16. Even when having been close to having full storage on it. Now after taking a quick nap and proceeded to use my phone again, just ONE tap of a notification on the Lock Screen up and had the thing just crap out on me right outta nowhere and crash multiple times in a row yet again. First time in two or so months too. Now the dang thing is stuck in a boot up screen until either the phone's battery drains completely or submit to being forced into updating to this dang update.
Now my only hope is that going to the apple store would have some way to get me past that boot up screen without having to resort to being forced into doing the software update.
submitted by JustCallMeTsukasa-96 to iphone [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:35 YamBagsMalone Anxiety over a racist DM I received on Facebook

Last weekend and for the first time ever in my life (or at least in the near 20 years I've been on social media), I received a racist DM from a random person on Facebook, presumably over a harmless comment I made on a public post, which apparently triggered him to the point that he felt the need to send me such a vile and disgusting message. I have since blocked him and reported him several times; said reports have gone unanswered, but I digress.
While I was merely stunned and dumbfounded at first after receiving the message, I was dealing with what happened just fine. However in the past few days I have gone back to thinking about that message and analyzing it to the point of being stressed out about it. There have been a few times where I have told myself to stop overanalyzing what amounts to be a minor (albeit racist) incident and move forward, and I'd be more present and feel better, but I still keep going back to that message and feel anxiety over it.
I have become better with mindfulness over the years when it comes to dealing with minor personal issues, however this is one issue that I am having trouble shaking off. I am of Indian descent, and this is all triggering my feelings of insecurity that I had during my teenage years and throughout my 20s, where I am seeing this random person who I have absolutely zero connection to personally attacking me and denigrating me as a human being.
I underwent ACT therapy a little over four years ago to learn how to better deal with negative situations and emotions, so I should really know better. But again, this is something I am struggling to shake off.
Apologies for the long post; I just needed to get this off my chest and figured this was the best subreddit to do my venting at. Any advice and guidance on dealing with this will be greatly appreciated 🙏🏽
submitted by YamBagsMalone to Mindfulness [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:34 jordankowi Dog groomers recommendations

Good afternoon Melbourne,
I've tried researching online but the negative reviews always deter me and it's hard to determine whether or not they're legitimate.
Needing some recommendations for groomers used in Essendon 3040 area or surrounding areas, preferably one you've used or a friend/family member uses.
I have a Japanese Spitz (F) and I would prefer someone who is passionate about dog grooming rather than these pet stores that just lump it in or people who do multiple things.
Thank you in advance!
submitted by jordankowi to melbourne [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:34 Pigwwisper- AITA for leaving a job when my father tells me to stick with it?

Hello! I’m a first time poster here so please cut me some slack with the formatting as I am also on mobile.
So for the back story, 3 years ago I enlisted in my country’s military to get out of a crappy situation related to family and to travel. I’ve got to see some amazing places because of this. However I only did this to stabilise myself for a better future and to cut that part of my life away.
Over the last 3 years I’ve made some amazing friends and started dating someone I care very deeply for who I met because of work. My time for reenlistment is soon approaching and I’ve already decided that I have no desire to remain active and will be switching to the reserves as I don’t want to put unnecessary strain on my relationship.
When I told my father this he started acting like it was the end of the world just because I mentioned moving in with my SO and going to school where they live to get my degree, Saying things like “I’ll see you less than I already do!” And “I’m a crappy father”. Ever since he’s been urging me to remain active as he thinks I’m acting purely on emotion and “things are getting bad”.
Whenever I tell him my mind is made up he begins self deprecating saying how I never listen to him despite me doing exactly what he suggested all the time when I was growing up.
Now I love my father however the way he’s acting just makes me angry and makes me want to distance myself from him like I have a majority of my family. This feels very manipulative and like he’s trying to guilt trip me into going to school near him.
So Reddit I ask you AITA?
submitted by Pigwwisper- to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:33 mysweettoaster Just gonna up and leave in a few months. Any advice?

Hey all. I’m 20 years old. Without going into a lot of details since this is a throwaway account, my family has been emotionally and mentally abusive, as well as physically until I was about 16. I realized, my depression and mental health will never get better as long as i’m chained down by my family and living with or near them. In a few months, a trusted long distance friend is going to help me move several states away. I’ll be taking my things i paid for (i have my own car under my name as well) and my cats, as well as obvious essentials like wallet, id, money, clothes, etc. Can my family do anything at all to stop me or bring me home? Any issue with taking my cats? Also, anything I should leave BEHIND? Thanks all.
submitted by mysweettoaster to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:32 Professional_Bell637 Advice on divorce settlement negotiations with a narcissist.

I am divorcing my husband and we are in an equitable division state and he just wants to buy me out of the house and is refusing to give the car equalization values and splitting the pensions and retirement accounts. The amount of equity he is offering is no where near close to half the value of the house. I am on the title, but not the mortgage . Reasoning with him is like trying to reason with a two year old about why they can’t have a cookie. I want my fair share so I can start over. We both have lawyers and I’m trying to make him understand that if this goes to trial that they will divide everything close to 50/50 and he still thinks I’m not entitled to anything. We were married for 10 years. Is it just better to allow this to go to trial or are there better negotiation strategies I should be using?
submitted by Professional_Bell637 to legaladvice [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:32 2moms1bun Anyone hear voices in the background while talking on the phone just now?

I’m going to sound like a nut job. I want to preface this by saying that that I’m solidly a skeptic about almost everything people believe in. I live need science and proof!
Anyway, I was talking to my friend in NY (close to Canada). And I was hearing something in the background. He asked what I was watching. I said nothing, that I assumed it was him. He said he was alone in his car.
We laughed it off. Eventually, I could hear it getting louder. Very clearly two people talking. My friend asked me, “What language is that?” I answered that it was Chinese. I’m pretty good with accents and languages bc I was a military brat.
I got kinda weirded out and hung up the call. When we reconnected, no voices. It was just weird. I was wondering if anyone else heard it or maybe it was something happening near him?
I wish I would have recorded it. Ugh
submitted by 2moms1bun to Cleveland [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:32 Particular_Berry_798 Why am I so alone & can’t make friends?

Hi I’m 20, black female, plus size, to paint a picture. I love fashion, I smoke, I love herbs, cartoons, writing, dancing, just got into drawing & painting. I love having conversations & learning more, I want to learn how to do things too, like horseback ride, wrangle, snow bored, etc. I’m very adventurous, a Sagittarius, spiritual , & free minded.
I’m having so much trouble, I’m so sad rn bc I’m so lonely, I know live alone, my roommate lives with his girlfriend. And haven’t really had human contact in like 3 or 4 days, bc I’ve been iced in. I would like girlfriends to hang out with and have lots of fun with, my friends do not live here and are in college elsewhere. I’m pretty outgoing & social, so it’s frustrating this is happening, I guess people don’t stick & it seems like I’m the problem, I have reached out to therapist and they say they will get back in contact with me and never do. I wish I had consistent people to share laughs and time with. I enjoy my time alone, but sometimes it’s too much. I’ve taken my meds, idk what else to do. I want to take sleeping pills just to sleep it out. I’ve tried girlfriends, guy friends, etc. Ppl don’t like hanging out or talking, maybe it’s me? I have a sister who lives near by, but is married and don’t want to bother her. I hate feeling this way. I’m so lonely. I’m think I’m on the last days of my cycle and it could be why I’m feeling so emotional, but I keep crying & I’m not much of a cryer .
One of those moments I don’t see the joy in life and see no reason in continuing. I feel I’ll never have a consistent person in my life, my own person by choice.
submitted by Particular_Berry_798 to BPD [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:31 LobsterDarren Building a drone from start to finish, what parts, how to build & program etc

I take you through the process of building a 5" Freestyle FPV Drone, making it accessible for even beginners. To begin, it's crucial to have a shopping list of all necessary parts, including a frame, ESC, flight controller, camera, video transmitter, video antenna, radio receiver, motors, and propellers. Before purchasing components, it's recommended to research and compare to other similar builds to ensure the best fit.
For this build, I used the FlyFish RC Volador DC5 frame and the SpeedyBee F405 V3 Stack. When choosing a flight controller and ESC, it's important to consider compatibility with the frame and other components. The speaker also explains key factors to look for when purchasing a stack, including the amp rating and processor. With these tips in mind, anyone can successfully build their own drone.
For a 5” Freestyle build, the next few components include the video system, radio receiver, and motors. The video system requires a camera and a video transmitter. The size of the camera should match the specifications of the frame, with a micro camera being the right size for this build. I will be using the RunCam Phoenix 2 camera and the SpeedyBee TX800 video transmitter, both of which have been sent to me by SpeedyBee. The antenna I will use is a Rush Cherry MMXC antenna, which is compatible with my goggles.
The radio receiver I will use is the Radiomaster RP1, which is compatible with ExpressLRS. The motors and batteries are important for the power train. The choice between 4S and 6S depends on what batteries I have or want to invest in. If I didn't have any batteries, I would get 6S 1100mah batteries for a 6S setup or 4S 1500mah batteries for a 4S setup. The motors I chose were be determined by the battery setup. Ideally, 2207 motors are better for 5” builds, and 1750kv is better for a 6S setup while 2550kv is better for a 4S setup. T-Motor has sponsored this build and sent me the Velox v2 motors in 2207 1750kv.
With our shopping list and components all selected, it's time to order from your favorite FPV store. It's important to buy from a dedicated FPV store for better customer service instead of websites like Amazon. There are great FPV stores available both in the USA and Australia. If you want to go for a more affordable option, you can order from AliExpress but be prepared for slow shipping.
When buying parts, don't forget to also grab the necessary tools for your build. You will need a soldering iron with extra tips, 60/40 Flux Core Lead Solder, Solder Wick, Solder Pig, Electrical Tape, HEX Drivers, Hook Up Wire, Smoke StoppeMulti-Meter, Cable Ties, and Helping Hands.
If this is helpful, you may want to watch the video which goes on with how to solder all the components, setup betaflight and tune >
submitted by LobsterDarren to diydrones [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:31 pani_ania My husband's murder

I was married to Chris for only two years, one month, and one week before I got the phone call that changed my entire life.
He was 31 in 2009, and he had yet to meet a stranger. Which could have been his greatest downfall. His entire family had a history of alcoholism, him included. He had received too many DUIs to have a license. In my book, that didn't make him a bad person, just a person that made some bad decisions. His mother passed away when he was 8, from complications of alcohol addiction. His father passed away when he was 21, in his arms, from cancer.
I worked the afternoon shift and when I got home from work on December 7, 2009, he had been drinking. I was upset because he keeps promising that he would quit. This time, it was different. He began talking about his mom. He couldn't remember her. He had asked me to help him find a place that his uncle had used to become sober. It ended up being one of the most memorable nights for us because the future finally looked better.
The next day, December 8, I worked my usual shift. I went home for my lunch hour around 7:30 pm. We had both been so happy over dinner, it was exactly like it was prior to his last relapse. He had told me that he was going to be sleeping when he got home because he had to work early in the morning. I debated just skipping the last half of my workday, but decided against it since I still had some of my belongings at work and only had a little more to do before I finished the "job" that I was working on.
When I finished that particular job, I felt compelled to leave work. I didn't. I found another job to do thinking that Chris was probably already sleeping. I ended up finishing everything about a half hour early. I packed my belongings up, turned off my computer, and decided that I was just going to leave early, especially since it had just started to snow the first snowfall of the season. My hand was on the door to walk out when a coworker stopped me. She had asked for my help that would only take a minute. I stayed to chat instead of leaving.
I got to my car at the usual time but had to clean the freshly fallen snow from it. It took a couple extra minutes. As I was driving out of the parking lot, my phone rang. This was strange because it was 11:30 at night, I saw that it was Chris. I answered, but he was slurring his speech. He said something, I thought I heard what he said. But in my head, I thought "he's drunk, again. And he's not making sense." So, I asked him what he said. He replied, "I've been stabbed." Yes, I heard him correctly, I asked by who? He said "Shannon". I knew of Shannon, he lived near our home. I had never met him, but I knew that his circumstances were similar to Chris's, they both had DUI's and couldn't drive. They met at the corner party store and would sometimes drink together. Chris then told me that he loved me. He also told me not to go home and to call 911. He said that he loved me again and hung up. I work less than 5 minutes from home. I immediately called 911, I was extremely calm and explained the phone call that I just had with Chris. I may have even said, "how bad can it be? He called me and didn't call you?" I had it in my head that they had an argument while drinking and Shannon had cut him.
I was wrong. I had told the 911 operator that I had pulled into my driveway and right after she told me not to enter the home, I hung up. I had to call Chris because I wasn't sure that he was still in the house. I had seen one set of footprints going into the side door and one set of zig-zag footprints coming from the front door and down the sidewalk. I asked Chris where he was, he said that he was in the living room and kept telling me not to go inside. Now, it is usually at this point in a true crime show where the spouse will say, I didn't go in, you have no idea what you would do under those circumstances. I do know, I didn't even hesitate one millisecond. I ran right into the house.
We normally used the side door, but for some reason, I entered the front door that is always locked. Except this time. As I opened the front door, the room was illuminated only by the Christmas tree. But, my eyes looked down on our nativity set under the tree. The manger had huge blood drops on it. Then as my eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room, I saw Chris on his back in the middle of the living room. He was alive, I could see the entire room was in disarray; the area rug was completely saturated with blood.
I ran into the dining room to grab the house phone. The furniture was strewn about the room and there was so much blood on the wall. I called 911 again, this time, I was frantic. I kneeled beside Chris. I asked where he had been stabbed, he said everywhere. I asked again because I couldn't see any wounds. I didn't realize that he was covered in blood. He lifted his shirt and I saw one large wound on his stomach. It wasn't bleeding at all. I foolishly thought that his wounds were already healing. (Like when you get a small cut that stops bleeding, yeah dumb I know.)
It seemed like an eternity before I saw the police. I was still on the phone with 911. At one point, Chris's head tilted to the side, like they do in the movies when someone dies. I started screaming at him. His leg moved and he groaned. I quickly calmed down and said to the 911 operator, "it's ok, his leg just moved. He's going to be alright." I ran to the door again to see where the police were. I saw one stopped near the corner, about 5 or 6 houses away. 911 told me to run to him. I did, and that was the last time that I saw Chris alive.
I was put in the back of the police car. I must have called my parents and told them what happened because I heard my mom yelling at the police officer to let her see me. She can be pushy when it comes to us kids, and he put her right in the car next to me. I also noticed that there were fire trucks blocking the street. To this day, I don't remember them coming, I only remember that once I ran to the police officer and begged him to go inside the home, I turned around and the police had formed a line on my front lawn with their guns drawn. I never even saw them take Chris out of the house.
I was taken to the hospital as well. I was in a full on panic attack. I am sure that I was photographed because my jeans and sleeves were soaked in blood. My hands were covered and I wasn't permitted to wash them. I had a police officer sitting in a chair outside my hospital room. They wouldn't tell me anything about Chris. But, I knew in my heart that he was OK because he was alive when the police arrived and he made it the hospital. Before I was taken to the police station, the officer did tell me that they had "arrested Shannon".
The medical examiner said that Chris was tortured. He had a total of 61 knife wounds. The cleanup company charged almost $27,000 to clean. It took a total of 18 hours to clean. It cost another $7,000 to make the repairs on the home. The fire department had to break several windows because as Chris lay dying on the floor, his killer turned on the gas for our gas stove. The hardwood floors had to be refinished and repaired. The spot where he bled out the most was in the dining room. The floor and subfloor had to be removed because it was too soaked to clean. A good 3-4 sq foot area had to be cut out.
The police followed the footsteps in the snow to the killers home. They found the killers blood soaked clothes and the double-edged dagger used to kill Chris in the BBQ ready to be burned. Less than a year later, he was convicted of 1st degree murder and sentenced to life in prison. He never said why it happened. He has denied it all along. I actually had contact with him this past Thanksgiving. I asked why it happened, and I was only told that "stuff like that, he likes to have a face-to-face conversation."
I have struggled for 13 years to find peace. I have found forgiveness, and I think that I have finally found some peace. I have made a wonderful life for myself and my children. I do often wonder what would have happened if I actually left work early that night.
submitted by pani_ania to mrballen [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:31 TheSurvivorBuff Notes with Dr. Bonnie Jacobs

A huge amount of documents were recently unsealed by Fairfax and made available to the public by request and purchase. This includes Amber's treatment notes with Dr. Bonnie Jacobs from 2011-2014.
It is extremely important to me that this information be made public in a respectful way. Obviously I am not the only person capable of purchasing the court documents but, as of now, it seems I'm the only one who has done so and feel a certain amount of responsibility in sharing them first. Amber moved to admit these notes into evidence in the hopes that it would help people understand Johnny's abuse. I hope in sharing them it will have some positive effect.
Here I'll be sharing some of the more insightful/important entries made by Dr. Jacobs.
When Amber first began dating Johnny:
Decided to date J but needs to keep it secret because he just split from partner. Has children boy + girl. Met in various places but always secret and discrete. I questioned her feelings about hiding. Says she understands. Feels he is protecting her. I asked how he treats her. Bought her a horse (white) because she told him as a child dreamed of having one. Loves to ride her horse – needs to be trained so can’t ride it yet. Not happy spending so much time w/ J’s friends. [Illegible] Has talked to him about his drinking and asked him to slow down. He knows about her parents and childhood. Feels sorry for him because his father was also an abusive alcoholic. (Trauma bonding ??) Has scars from beatings. Dad used belts and chains, also burnt him w/ cigarettes. Scars all over body including head. Spending nights together but hide going to and from each other’s homes. Concerned about paparazzi. Says he doesn’t want her blamed for break-up w/ ex because not true.
Amber starts to realize the drinking and substance abuse is really bad in November 2011:
Continuing to see J but becoming more concerned about his drinking and drug use. Sometimes so bad he needs help getting into bed. Pointed out she is enabling him in similar way she enables parents, minus the money. Has only attended 1 Al-anon meeting. Found it helpful but can’t go often because of schedule. Doesn’t know what to do or how to do it. Advised her to stop picking him up or hiding bottles. Also suggested not seeing him if he is drunk or stoned. Feels she can’t do that but will try. He using most of the time so worried she’ll never see him.
Johnny's anger starts to come up. Bonnie Jacobs becomes afraid he is hitting Amber:
[Amber] Afraid to discuss using + drinking because he gets loud and physical. Questioned if he has hit her. Said he only yells and throws things. Discussed Al-anon issues. How difficult but necessary it is for her to take care of herself.
Amber's fraught relationship with her father a running theme:
Parents coming for Thanksgiving, not happy about it. J will be spending time w/ children. Afraid her father will tell people about her and J. Told him not to say anything but doesn’t know what he might do when drunk.
The connection between her father and Johnny is made early by Dr. Jacobs:
More in depth discussion of J’s behavior and ways it parallels her father. Said J has a loving side and dad not so much. Discussed how only the substance abuser can stop him/herself from drinking and using... Can’t force someone to stop using if they don’t want to, and that addicts can’t stop for someone else. Addicts have to stop for themselves. Extremely tearful. Feels she can help him stop using. Wishes she could get friends, bodyguards, and sister to stop supporting and enabling his addictions. Too many people dependent on him for financial support. Asked why she wants to be w/ someone who is addict and behaves badly. Said she loves him and he loves her. Just doesn’t like “bad” J. Recommended Al-anon again.
Police are almost called the third week of December, 2011:
Continued discussing her relationship w/ J. He was extremely drunk when he came to her apt. She was angry. He began screaming and cursing. Argument became so loud that landlord threatened to call the police. Doesn’t know what to do when he is like that. He left. Didn’t hear from him and got worried. Asked if this is relationship she wants? Again tearful and certain she can help him get clean and sober.
Johnny got sober around Christmas:
Going out of town for holidays. Will be gone a couple of weeks. Looking forward to being w/ J and down time. J better but not sure he will stay sober. Discussed more books, [Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings] and Al-anon
Amber gets back from vacation. January 8th, 2012 is Dr. Jacob's first unambiguous note of physical abuse:
Had a good time on vacation but there were times when she believed she knew what it was like to be her mother. Said she was reluctant to tell me what happened because she “knew what” I would say. Asked her what she thought I would say. Said she heard me saying “leave him on the floor, don’t engage, and to leave.” J very drunk, using, angry. Tried to calm him down. Asked him not to drink or use so much which made him angrier. Admits screaming back at him. He hit her, threw her on floor. She threw pot at him. Told her she dresses like a “whore” and was not to wear low cut dresses, shirts, etc. After he sobered up he’s always apologetic and sweet. Wants sweet J around more Discussed cycles of DV again. Told her no matter what she did or didn’t do that behavior was unacceptable. Told her no matter what she can’t change him.
Dr. Jacobs noting they discussed domestic violence "again" suggests this is not the first time she was made aware Johnny had become physically abusive.
In 2012 Amber really becomes aware of how much those around Johnny enable him. She was struggling with what Al-anon and Dr. Jacobs were telling her, which was to leave Johnny passed out and not help him get to bed. More insight into her father as well:
Talked about how difficult it is for her to not enable J’s behavior. Discussed difference between rage and anger. Father has been in and out of town. Insists on trying to “break” horse the way he’s always done it. A[mber] has a trainer who is doing it gently but father keeps interfering. Doesn’t feel she can stop him. Said she’s going to more Al-anon meetings and talking with friends and parents about J’s substance abuse. Said J gets drugs from friends, bodyguards, sister. Sister is his manager and works to keep him happy so he can financially support family. J supports mother, sister, children and thinks V. A[mber] angry people are willing to get him whatever he wants because he’s a celebrity and he pays them.
In February she struggled with nightmares and became familiar with Johnny's "splitting":
Said she has recurring nightmares about parents and [sister?]. Wakes up in panic. Isn’t sleeping well. Discussed some of material in dreams. Sobbing during session. Said becomes panicked when J takes off for days and she doesn’t hear from him. J’s sister said he does that on occasion. Believes he goes on benders and may get hurt. Pretty sure he’s cheating on her when he does that.
The reason for Johnny skipping out on her is made clear in March. Dr Jacob's tries to get Amber to see the patterns in his behavior:
Heard from J and saw each other. J gets angry and jealous when she is photographed w/ men eating out. Told him they are just friend. Discussed that trying to control is DV behavior.
More insight into her father:
Afraid father is going to slip and tell people about her and J. Father drinks and talks a lot to look like he’s important. Concerned he will tell one of his drinking and drugging buddies and they will tell press. J says they will go public soon. She found some of the ways they sneak around funny but tired of it. J says he’ll drink and use less but doesn’t last long. A[mber] gets fearful later in night because he gets drunker then.
Dr. Jacobs realized her nightmares were connected to Johnny:
Having nightmares about childhood and being chased – trouble sleeping. Has been [exercising?] but still can’t fall or stay asleep. Discussed and processed dreams. Discussed some of this is being triggered by J being similar to dad. Loss of agency. Discussed way to calm herself at night and work on changing dreams by visualizing something happy and pleasant as she falls asleep. Very tearful.
Amber continued struggling with not caretaking for him:
Has gone to some Al-anon meeting and finds them helpful but still feels badly “doing nothing” when J needs to be taken to bed. Struggling with letting him stay on the floor when he passes out. Discussed how no consequences to substance abuse behavior are enabling the user. Explained how what most people consider helping someone only hurts the user because they do not need to take responsibility for actions. A[mber] understands concept better but still struggling with it.
Dr. Jacobs tried to get Amber to understand the cycle of violence and control:
Continued discussing co-dependent behavior and how just checking up on J and parents is Co D. Afraid when she doesn’t hear from him he’s hurt or wants to break up. Told her this is his controlling behavior to keep her hooked in. Says she loves him and doesn’t understand how it’s controlling – discussed more. He becomes enraged because she “nags” him about drinking and drugging. Stays out with his friends and doesn’t get in til early morning. He’s missed a number of work meetings and call times because he’s too messed up to get there. Pointed out keeping track of his appointments is co-dep.
In May, Johnny's jealousy was getting worse, though he seemed to make exception for iO and Rocky, but only iO and Rocky:
Went out w/ a male friend and J got upset. Has also been getting annoyed if she sees some female friends other than [iO Tillet Wright] or [Rocky Pennington] because she is bi. He’s been increasingly jealous and concerned she will cheat on him. Continually states she won’t but he wants to tell her who she can and can’t see. Discussed abuse includes control again. He frequently engages in name calling.
The sexual abuse is first mentioned on May 24th, 2012:
Said she often feels uncomfortable when J touches her if he’s drunk. Said J has trouble maintaining erection when high. He gets angry and sometimes violent when that happens. Blames her for his failure. Discussed physiological reasons alcoholics and some substance users have sexual problems.
Amber missed a lot of sessions because her car would break down. Dr. Jacobs had insight into Amber's thought process:
Apologized for late cancel. Talked about work and car trouble. Loves her car but it’s extremely problematic. Discussed how often she apologizes for same issue. Said she was sorry again. Laughed. Discussed how apologies are often not for things over which she has control or responsibility. Talked about how she tries to take on responsibility in effort to have control. Fails and feels bad because no matter how hard she tries to make herself responsible she’s not. Blames herself for a lot that isn’t about her.
Johnny and her father start drinking together in June:
Dad and J drinking buddies. Likes when mom and sister are there. Has been very busy. Paparazzi very distressing. Follow her around. Still is hiding w/ J at her place and his. Feels lonely when not w/ others.
(This note was made on June 28th. Previous to reading these, I'd pieced together Johnny was off the wagon and drinking with Amber's father because of a picture a fan posted with Johnny at a bar on June 14th. Amber's dad is in the background. Picture here. Amber's reports are truly very consistent with independent evidence.)
The way in which Johnny made Amber feel responsible for his substance abuse really starts to manifest in the second half of 2012. From August 7th:
Not feeling well. Rough time w/ J. Disappeared. Came late. A[mber] was worried. Argued about who she was seeing. Thinks she is cheating. She denied but he was in a rage. He threw things. Glass flew near her head. Asked if she was going to Al-anon meetings. Said she didn’t have time but wanted to. Still can’t bring herself to tell him to go home or not come over if he is drunk/drugged. Fears he will be hurt. Asked what about her feelings? Told her he is escalating and not about her. Feels she should be able to do something.
Dr. Jacobs tried to get Amber to see the extent of Johnny's controlling behavior:
Having nightmares again. Very tearful. Afraid of breaking up w/ J. Feels he will stop using and drinking if she can help him feel better about himself. Still not going public because he is protecting her. [I] Ask if she believes that. Said she is afraid of bad publicity. Discussed cycle of DV and control is a sign.
Amber wanted to get better at handling Johnny's splitting:
Talked to J but he is often unresponsive. Scares her when she doesn’t hear from him. Reminded her if something happened to him she would know from media. Wants to do more work on codependency. Talked through some co-dep behaviors.
Reports of sexual violence return on September 25th:
Extremely fatigued. Fighting w/ J again. He violent. Throwing things. Some hit her. She screaming back. Started w/ he was upset at clothes. Ripped her nightgown threw her on bed. Tried to have sex but couldn’t get erection. Became more angry. He passed out.
In the aftermath Johnny promised to get sober. From October 2nd:
J being nice. Sorry for fight. Discussed cycle of abuse (Honeymoon stage). J promised he would get clean
From October 9th:
J not using since fight. Does better when they are together. Sure she can help him stay clean. Had more discussion about addiction. Went over it not being caused by her. His use is long term before they even met. Feels responsible even though isn’t logical. Why can’t she help more?
Johnny told Amber more about his abusive childhood:
J’s mother at house. Very demanding and nasty. J’s father dead. Both abusive when J was young. Father worse than mother.
(Probably just a result of Dr. Jacob's quickly writing notes, but it is Johnny's stepfather who passed away, not biological father.)
More insight into Amber's childhood:
Discussed her mother’s [role] in father’s abuse. He abused all of them but she allowed it by staying. Very tearful.
Dr. Jacobs remained concerned about Johnny exerting so much control over Amber through hiding the relationship, but Amber continued to see it from Johnny's perspective:
Still claims J thinks it’s best to wait. Makes it a game to hide. A[mber] buying into it.
At the end of October, Johnny was hanging out with Marilyn Manson. Amber really didn't care for him:
J’s friends bad influence. A[mber] doesn’t like MM. Talks badly about women, does a lot of drugs.
Amber's family planned on coming for Christmas. She was worried about Johnny spending time with her father. Sexual violence again brought up:
Feeling stress about holidays and shoot. Parents coming for X-mas. Always worried about Dad drinking and causing problems. Discussed Al-anon, ways to deal w/ his drinking – Don’t engage. Has trouble doing that when he verbally attacks sister and mother. J winds up drinking w/ dad. Father misogynist – says horrible things about how women should be treated to J. Sometimes J becomes verbally and sexually abusive after spending time w/ father. Has thrown her on bed and had “angry sex.” If he’s drunk can’t perform and gets angrier. Blames her for impotence. She feels responsible. Discussed addicts not taking responsibility for their actions. Blaming others so they don’t need to own their behavior.
From November 28th:
Continued discussing addict behavior. That she didn’t cause and therefore can’t fix the problem. Talked about going to couples therapy. J says he has a psychiatrist and maybe they can see him. A doesn’t think he sees the psychiatrist very often. Not sure if he gets pills from him. Thinks psychiatrist is just another “yes man” because J is rich and famous.
(Johnny was addicted to Roxicodone and Klonopin at this point. Safe to say Amber's concern over his psychiatrist was correct. That's the guy supplying him with the "pills" Johnny always mentions to Paul Bettany.)
The last entry from 2012, on December 20th:
J got drunk and passed out on couch. Left him there and went to bed. Felt proud of herself for not trying to make it okay for him but bad at the same time. Discussed change is difficult. Nothing changes if she always does the same thing. No consequences means nothing changes.
Amber didn't see Dr. Jacobs while she was in Europe for her shoot. The next session was March 7th, one day before the "disco bloodbath" fight:
J’s drinking and drugging again. Went to Rolling Stones concert and didn’t ask her. Felt very hurt that he would leave her out knowing she loves the Stones. Kept asking why he would do that. Feels uncared for and unloved when he does those things. Feels punished for complaining about his using. Discussed addiction and DV, emotional abuse and control. Says she understands codependency but is having trouble getting the [illegible] in her heart. Sure she can change him.
After going public, Johnny wouldn't let her address the rumors that she ended his marriage with Vanessa ("the homewrecker shit you never let me fight," as Amber put it in February 2016):
People are saying vicious things about her. Hurt her feelings because they don’t know her. Discussed putting up better boundaries and ignoring people or defending herself. J says ignore it but she wants people to know the truth. Studios protect J but not her. Word of J’s drunkenness and drugs hardly ever make tabloids. No one knows how many times he has thrown things at her and other people or shown up late to call times because of drugs and alcohol.
From March 18th:
Mom telling her to not be so hard on J to go along more. Got angry w/ her because of what happened since mom did that w/ dad. Asked why she was with J given his behavior. Says she loves him and feels if things were more stable between them he would get better. Checked to determine if abuse was ever directed at children. A[mber] said not that she ever saw.
Police were called around this time:
he threw her against a wall and threatened to kill her while they were at her apt. Landlord called police but told them everything was fine. Pointed out her behavior was paralleling her mom’s and she can’t “fix” J.
Johnny was back in the "Honeymoon" phase after threatening to kill her:
J being nice and loving again. Sorry he hurt her. A[mber] acknowledges she screamed back and put him down. Doesn’t know what to do when he is out of control. Asked if she could leave, go someplace safe. Said she could go to a friend. Again asked why she wants to be w/ him. What does she love about him? Made some statements about “the good J.” Pointed out the bad one comes w/ the good one.
In the aftermath of the "Documentary/Painting" incident on March 22nd, Amber had a panic attack on March 25th:
Had a panic attack but was able to use relaxation techniques to calm herself down.
From April 1st:
Has been reading a lot about alcoholism, abuse and childhood trauma... knowing/understanding only go so far. Feels if she can understand it will be easier to deal with her stuff and J. Informed her no amount of understanding makes behavior “ok.” Great to understand but people have to be held accountable for their behavior.
April 11th:
J drinking and using again. Got nasty and grabbed her [this word is either "arm" or "again"]. Passed out in living room and she left him there. Discussed possibly moving in w/ him and what that would mean for her safety. Friend [iO Tillet Wright] is around more when she’s at J’s. Expressed concern re: his blackouts and behavior. A[mber] thinks he will be better when they live together.
April 30th:
Had fun on birthday but J and his friends got drunk. He’s using more. She stays away when they are using and he gets angry. Always sorry next day. Wants him to see therapist more often. He says he will.
From May 8th, only a few days before Johnny would text Stephen Deuters that he cut himself badly and needed stitches:
She can’t make J stop. J has been late and missing work because of drinking and drugs. People, some friends angry about his behavior. Unprofessional. Gets so angry w/ self he burns his skin w/ cigarettes. Tried to get him to stop but he gets angrier. Loves him and wants to help him.
A few days later:
Having trouble w/ sleeping. Had panic attack. Discussed events leading up to panic. Reminded her if she can talk she has to be breathing. J jealous about her filming w/ other men. Assures him she’s faithful but he’s unreasonable. Doesn’t want her to dress in low cut or tight fitting clothes. Feeling very pressured.
Amber went out of town with Johnny to Hicksville at the end of May, then on to his press tour for The Lone Ranger. She didn't check back in with Dr. Jacobs until August 1st, soon after getting back from Europe:
Really wanted to talk over past months but was busy w/ her work, J’s work and appearances. Really happy to be home but leaving again soon. Feels better staying at J’s compound because security doesn’t allow paparazzi and fans to get in. Friend [iO Tillet Wright] is living in one of the houses because [he] is broke. Wishes there were not so many other people around – J’s “friends.” J’s using is very bad. She has been yelling at him about drugs and alcohol. He falling down, passing out, and verbal abuse. She screamed at him about public behavior like kissing [Jimmy Kimmel] on TV. Arguments are more frequent and hurting himself and her. Told him she would leave if he didn’t stop and get help. She took it back after he promised he would. I told her to stop hiding and emptying bottles as it doesn’t help and could make things worse.
Johnny was fresh out of rehab around this time:
Still arguing but getting a little better. J has been drinking less. Has not blacked out or gotten violent in past few days. Reminded her he has not committed to sobriety and nothing change[s] until he is. She sure he is willing to get better. Having trouble w/ studio because of his actions. She and his sister trying to [illegible] w/ him. A[mber] can’t stand that his “friends” hang out and want to party. Feels they use J.
From August 20th:
Things have been quieter at home but always a little on edge. Discussed not knowing when the next shoe might drop so she is hypervigilant. Recommended “Co-Dependent no more” and “Walking on eggshells.” I questioned decision to move in w/ J. Said she thinks it will get better. He’s not drinking as much.
Amber spent most of the rest of the year in London, not going back to see Dr. Jacobs until January 7th, 2014:
Getting engaged. Holidays ok but J using again. Spent time w/ parents, sister and bf. Saw friends. Getting house ready to move in. Wants to have engagement party but very busy and doesn’t know how to juggle everything. Very stressed. [Rocky] said she’ll help with party. J busy w/ filming and movie. Has been passing out a lot. Fearful he will OD and/or become nasty. Asked if she’s going to Al-anon? Said sometimes but no time. Told to make time. Fears she is failing because can’t get J to be sober.
From January 16th:
Dad and J drinking buddies. Upset J is using. Banned father from their room at hotel. [Rocky] helping with food and venue for [engagement] party. Worried everything won’t get done in time. Did relax in office. Says she is trying to do it at home but it’s hard. [Illegible] helps but not enough. I questioned her willingness to marry J. Said she can help him. Asked how well mom was able to help dad. Said it was different because mom is addict too.
Four days later:
Life still stressful. Work stuff, house and party. J’s working – music and film. He’s showing up late to work. A[mber] tries to get him to not use night before work. Works sometimes. [Rocky] doing good job trying to find venue for party. Very attached and grateful to [Rocky]. Have each other’s backs.
From January 23rd:
Has been exercising for stress. Helps but not enough. Trouble sleeping. Nightmares. Discussed dream content. J being verbally aggressive. Gets angry if no alcohol. A[mber] admits to dumping some. Discussed not doing that. He can always get more and she’s being [codependent]. [Illegible] to go to Al-anon. Will do so before next session. Helps to talk to [iO Tillet Wright] about Al-anon issues.
One week later:
Not sleeping well or enough. Very tired and needs to look good for camera. J’s sistemgr causing problems. Sister helps J get drugs and alcohol. A[mber] feels too many people support his using. Wants to do something about that but not sure what.
Amber saw Dr. Jacobs on February 3rd, only a few hours before a fight with Johnny would blow up into a multi-day affair across the 4th and 5th:
Discussed pre-nup. J doesn’t want one because he says only way one of them leaving marriage is death. I asked if she would sign one. She said yes she has no prob with it. Finds what J said funny and endearing. Asked, given his history, if maybe it’s a little scary. Denied being afraid.
From February 12th:
J got drunk. Fell and broke table. Left him there passed out. Found him in bed next AM. Doesn’t know if he got there himself or bodyguards helped. Hard to use Al-anon techniques when so many other people are involved in caretaking him.
The first week of March:
Very anxious... Asked if having second thoughts about marriage. She said yes but feels she can help J and will have more say over things once they are married. Told her she set [precedent] for [illegible] behavior and other’s behavior so likely won’t change. Became tearful and repeated that she loves him.
Later in March is the first mention of Johnny's jealousy over James Franco:
Stated she leaves to shoot movie in a couple of days. Can’t come to therapy for a while. Re-stated can call if needs to. Worried about part and J’s feelings about her working love scenes with [James Franco.] Told him nothing to worry about. Feels he is going to cause problems on set. He will visit but not going to be there most of the time.
Amber went back to Dr. Jacobs on May 15th, nine days before she would board their flight from Boston to Los Angeles:
Someone posted photo of her w/ JF and J got angry. Had argument. Screaming. Crying. He threatened to break up she assured him nothing was going on. J threw things at her. She left was scared. Went to friend’s house. J cut and burned self. Was drunk yelling he was worthless and she didn’t love him. Doesn’t know what to do when he self mutilates. Told her to call an ambulance. Said she can’t do that because press will get hold of it. Same reason she doesn’t call police when they fight. Also knows cops won’t do anything because he’s a celebrity.
Amber went to see Dr. Jacobs on May 23rd, only hours before she would receive a phone call from Johnny that would set her back on edge:
Talked to J about how scary his behavior was. He apologized. On his best behavior right now. Again discussed cycle of DV.
From a text exchange Amber had with Johnny's sister Christi on May 25th, 2014, in the aftermath of the flight in which Johnny kicked her:
CD: How have you been before this?
AH: Great, perfect, heaven until he decides to use. And the drug abuse, all prescription meds, and drinking has been slowly climbing every day. And we've been fine except when there's any issue or hiccup or problem. Then shit hits the fan because he doesn't deal with it as Johnny, he deals with it as a totally different person. A demon. It was the worst I've ever seen him. I think it's because he's now taking Adderall on top of all the other shit, which is the equivalent to consuming a pharmaceutical speedball every day. He will die if he continues to call being sober just not drinking. And his medicine kit includes tons of new drugs. He's going to kill himself Christi.
Amber did not go back to see Dr. Jacobs until well into the summer of 2014. From August 4th:
Decided on wedding date have a lot to do. Looking at gowns. J left planning to her. Got planner. [Rocky] helping. Discussed feelings re: marriage and substance use. Also discussed issues of DV in relationship. Stated J better and not acting out physically. Believes she can manage problems. Suggested getting impartial couple’s therapist. J not up for that. Wants to use someone he knows if anyone.
Three days later was the last appointment Amber would have with Dr. Jacobs until 2019:
Seems wrapped up in idea of fantasy wedding not realities of relationship problems. Advised problems don’t get better, if anything get worse. Sure things will get better once they are actually married because she will have more authority in house. Told her that wasn’t realistic.
submitted by TheSurvivorBuff to DeppDelusion [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:31 high__how_are_ya Unsure about possible MCAS and how to pursue a diagnosis

Hi all! A little bit about me, I’m a 22F with inappropriate sinus tachycardia, Raynauds, POTS, and hEDS. Just last night I discovered MCAS and the prevalence of co-occurrence with POTS and hEDS. I was hoping to pick your guys’ brains about if this sounds like MCAS and if so, how to pursue treating it.
I was diagnosed with inappropriate sinus tachychardia 6 years ago along with POTS after having mono. About two years later, I was diagnosed with hEDS.
For a large portion of my life, I have randomly become horribly itchy. When I scratch the itch, it becomes a larger area, then small hives will begin to form. This often occurs at its most unbearable at night for me. Up until a few months ago, I would ironically take Benadryl to knock myself out so I wouldn’t have to deal with the discomfort.
Anyways, up until last night, I thought nothing of it; I had assumed it may have been a sensory issue causing these random bouts of itchiness. Then I came across someone mentioning their similar experience, including the small hives, and finding out they had MCAS.
I have also always developed redness across my nose, cheeks, and some of my forehead that feels hot and can last for over 2 hours at times. I have also recently began randomly getting a rash somewhat similar appearing to psoriasis, without the flaking or scaliness of psoriasis, on my neck. I’ve only had this about four times now but it began occurring only 2 months ago. Prior to now, the affected area was a small patch randomly appearing on either the front or back of my neck that will go away after about 5 days. The past few days, it’s developed along the length of one side of my neck, starting right behind the ear, and there’s a similar one forming on the opposite side of my neck now.
My eyes constantly water and my nose constantly runs and I’ve had issues with my sinuses nearly all my life, but again I thought nothing of any of this. I had a rhinoplasty, septoplasty, and turbinate reduction performed last year but often I’ll randomly find myself struggling to breathe.
I constantly have brain fog and fatigue but chalked those up to a combination of my heart conditions and ADHD.
I haven’t been using any new products, nor have I noticed any particular triggers for these effects (however I’ve never really paid much mind to these symptoms altogether before). To the best of my knowledge I’m not allergic to anything besides Bactrim and seasonal allergies. However, I’ve never been allergy tested.
Sorry for the lengthy novel, I didn’t want to leave anything out that may be helpful in your guys’ understanding. Please let me know if there’s anything sounds similar to your experiences and if you guys have any advice for moving forward.
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2023.02.03 05:31 AveryDawning They Want our Wisdom - Mage the Awakening with an Experienced Storyteller

Game: Mage 2e Format: Discord, PBP, Google Drive Frequency: 1-2 Posts per Day Slots: 3-4 Pitch: If anything has proven it's ability to break limits it's the Abyss. That's why the Awakened community reacted very poorly to the near undeniable proof that the abyss had somehow developed the ability to intelligently use swarms of Gulmoth to turn people into sleepers. When the rumors first started spreading no one outside of the sixteen most respected members of the global awakened community believed them. This is because they had been the target of a scrying window that the same trusted awakened had tried to open within their minds. This spell forced the powerful mages to see through the eyes of that mage as they watched the untold thousands of pathetically weak Gulmoth descended on Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. The multiple investigations that were conducted by various squads of talons showed that everything supernatural within the city had been reverted back to its mundane state with no awareness that they had ever glimpsed the truth. The supernatural communities of the Fallen World have spent the last eight days arguing about what they should do. This has allowed the similar attacks to happen within Krasnoyarsk, Russia and Nnewi, Nigeria. Anyways, we will start this chronicle with your characters forming a temporary cabal to figure out and possibly stop this from happening again. You might even has a chance at succeeding as some of the most talented arrows or libertines within the Fallen Worlds. This means that you'll start with a bonus sixty arcana experience and a bonus sixty regular experience to spend in character creation. Contact info/Discord Invite: If you want to apply please send me a direct message with the following information: A one-paragraph introduction; Why you are interested in this campaign in particular; Your character concept, path and order; A little bit about yourself outside of this hobby; Then we will have a chat back and forth. If that goes good, we'll have a small private roleplay about you learning about the initial attack and your immediate response to the news.
submitted by AveryDawning to pbp [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:31 Unlikely-Shame-4603 Is this enmeshment? 19M

I'm beginning to realize that my mother has effectively prevented me from becoming a man.
My mother became incredibly protective of me the moment I was born. I was born two and a half months premature and nearly died a few times. One time I began choking and my mother had to perform CPR to save me. Over the course of my early childhood I became sick frequently and dealt with asthma and food allergies. This gave my mother another set of problems to deal with. I recall hiding behind her in public and even at family gatherings. I did extremely well in school and others praised her for her parenting skills but looking back I disagree with their assessment.
The final straw was the death of my father when I was 13. My mother was inconsolable for a time and finally began repressing her emotions. She hardly mentions my father anymore. After this event she began to pull my siblings and I closer to her. My fraternal twin brother has rebelled a bit and speaks with her less often now. My sister is still in high school but often has major fights and disagreements with her. My reaction was to instead let essentially let her become my conscience. I rarely do anything unless she suggests it. I'm only realizing this now, though I'm glad I caught it early.
I don't blame her at all for her reaction to the trauma she experienced (her child almost dying, the very premature death of her husband) but it has left me quite socially inept and anxious. I've had very few life experiences and I struggle to make friends. Romantic relationships have been non-existent.
She often mentions how incompetent I am or says things like "oh OP what are we gonna do with you?" She means well but I know that I am intelligent and perfectly capable of learning all the skills involved in leading an independent life.
She pushed me to go to college but when I consider what I wasn't, I'm not even sure I want to be in college at this point in my life. I feel that I need to be independent for a while before deciding to pursue higher education. (I've completed 1 semester of college thus far and made the Dean's list.)
Have any of you death with a similar "benevolent tyranny" and how did you escape? Even better would be advice on how to talk to her about it because I do love my mother and don't want to cut her off or anything drastic like that.
submitted by Unlikely-Shame-4603 to enmeshmenttrauma [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:30 spooky-the-insomniac MY ROBUX ARRIVED YAYY

MY ROBUX ARRIVED YAYY submitted by spooky-the-insomniac to WolfiesVillage [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:29 NTRedmage DM with issues

So I was wondering what the community thinks the 5 most terrible things a DM can do in terms of being a less than fantastic Dm(putting it nicely here) As I am trying to come to terms with someone that's not a bad person, but hes very stuck in an edition that really doesn't work well with what we are playing (5th). I will give out a few key examples and let others be the judge.
-Consistently sets every enemy encounter to be lethal and has a "I'm here to kill players" mindset. Examples include a cr24-ish flesh floowall, 42-ish half giant zombies vs a 2 lev 9s, a lev 4 and a lve 3 bard (Each giant has about 48 HP and swing with a +2 and a d12), 25 cr 1 giant-spiders, a bunch of 1/2 cr drow (8?) and a cr 5 cleric. (Party was mostly 4-5, and only 4 of us). 2 cr 15 giant purple worms (400 hp each) a spike giant custom monster that explodes on knockout for 85+ damage AOE with about 300 HP AND regenerates after a couple hours.(against 2 players...).
-Does not call out players for BS rolls. I have watched his wife either poorly add her dice together or intentionally keep fluffing her stealth/pickpocket rolls. I won't say he's playing favs because he killed her (well she killed herself by trying to 1v1 a cr 17 dragon) but this is far from all the bs rolls.
-Allowing players to be aggressively adversarial to one another, even when their alignment would not really permit it. For more context an event happens where it changed everyone's alignment at random and he forced every player to make a decision during a riot that would be matched with their new alignment or he would make it for them(player agency). An example would be killing off a new player 5 minutes into a game with bar room brawl damage, player makes a new character and is bullied excessively by a druid (shop owner), our now dead Cleric "Neutral evil = chaotic stupid" AND the gm (making him roll mental defects/illness for dying so much). Said player has not been back in 5 weeks. Said dead Cleric and druid have made (arguably intentional) decisions that would almost certainly TPK the entire party.
-Mixing up mechanics and spells from different editions. Orc fighter(formerly adversarial cleric) opened a chest nowhere near me, failed his save and has since stopped playing. I am hit with a curse that has not been in the game since 2nd edition; it turns you inside out. Cleric removed curse but now I am a meatpie with no way to actually save myself (Another no win scenario). Both the Bard(his wife) and Druid (shop owner) are planning to sell me to a circus as a freak show. If I die, the curse jumps to another player(starting a cycle of no wins).
-I am not entirely innocent here, but knowing how he was playing adversarial I setup my Rune FighteMastermaker Artificer to be fairly survival based. Taking mostly survival and defensive spells (Meta gaming I guess?) So far they have only saved me against other players, encounters have been set to partially or entirely nullify my spells/feats.
-Story is going nowhere, 6 hours a week for 3 months and the BBEG is not even on the horizon as hes swapped it around at least 3 times. Players that have died are forced to reroll to level 1, making encounter balance a living nightmare and further cementing the fact we will get nowhere anytime soon. He actually saw me out today doing laundry and asked me had I made a new character yet (expecting me to give up on one not technically dead YET) further cementing that he basically wants me dead and when I told him my plan to fix myself (via a prayer to Moradin of all deities) he mentioned it would take effectively 2-3 20rolls with deity intervention to reverse the curse and get back to myself.(further cementing my belief that he literally has a kill players only mindset, very 2nd edition of him).
I would like to point out, hes not a bad person or anything, but I just want others opinions on where to go from here.
submitted by NTRedmage to DnD [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:29 alwaysmaybebaby Been on Birthcontrol for 2 years and now have had a really late period/ missed a period.

So I have been on Tricira lo birthcontrol for about 2 years now. It’s a low hormonal 28 day pill pack I take. It has been good for me up till now, I would get my period right at the start of my placebo pill portion of my pack when I first started taking it. Then a year into taking the pill my period came a few days into my placebo portion of the pack and slowly moved to me getting my period near the end of the placebo part. Which is all fine, last month I started a whole new pack and was about 5 days into my hormonal birthcontrol when I finally got my period. I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. This was an unusual period for me it was darker blood and wasn’t heavy enough to wear a pad but a liner and was there when I wiped it also had some small clots in the blood. This lasted for a week and a half almost 2 weeks which is super unusual for my period. Now this month I am 2 weeks into my new pack and no period? I figure it’s because my last period lasted so long. Could my body be used to the low dose birthcontrol pill? I have blood work tomorrow and a doctors appointment Monday but just wondering if anyone’s experienced this. Side note have been with one partner this whole 2 years and have no pain or anything like that, im also 28.
submitted by alwaysmaybebaby to Healthyhooha [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:29 Spookzsaw Is this an unpopular opinion?

Hi, I've never really been all that invested in Mafia as a whole, I was browsing some games awhile back and picked up the remastered version of the first game. Loved it to death, the mechanics felt clean and the story was good, everything looked great.
So, I've recently been losing motivation to pretty much play any of the games I already have, and I remember being told that you play as the guy who killed Tommy in the second game by one of my friends. So, I picked up the game and decided to play it.
It wasn't bad, not by a long shot, it just felt a bit like missed potential really. The driving mechanics were great, the atmosphere was just stellar, seriously the transition between in and out of jail was cool as hell. Vito honestly seemed like he'd just be the bad guy for awhile, which I kind of like.
However I had so many other problems with it. It felt like most of the game was just driving, seriously. The driving mechanics are great but it gets boring after you do it so many times without fail. It also felt like there was significantly less action than the first one.
Also, doing anything outside the story was literally pointless. You lose your damn money and clothes repeatedly, how is that supposed to encourage any replayability? Doesn't help that if you die while doing your own thing is automatically snaps you back to the last part of the mission, which is usually far away from your house.
When I play a game called Mafia, I'd honestly expect to be doing some cool Mafia shit like shooting rivals with a tommy gun, and don't get me wrong, there's plenty of that, but it's just a fraction of the game. The last parts of the game were absolutely sick because of how much shooting you get to do. The rest of it is just basically, "I have a plan!" "I am reluctant to follow this plan." and who could have guessed that the plan goes wrong for the 50th time in a row?
Also the entire thing kinda felt very similar to the first game in structure really, help someone who was ordered to be killed escape, kill a rival leader (or two, in this case), someone has a risky plan the boss doesn't need to know about, the boss knows about it, the person who made the plan died. Would've been nearly identical if Joe didn't help you in the end, but he's probably dead anyways.
I really feel like this game would be much better if the game just cut you loose sometimes, seriously even in the limited times I went on my own I noticed little cool interactions like police investigating the people you kill or drivers getting pissed off at you. It always felt cool when a random civilian has a gun because I mean, it makes sense, and it adds an interesting surprise.
The environment is great, and the story is subpar, and for some reason the game constantly links you to the story practically on a rail, despite the environment being great. As stated, I think this game is just missed potential. What do yall think about it? And is this an unpopular opinion?
submitted by Spookzsaw to MafiaTheGame [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:29 MachWoz Blown Turbo Questions

Soooo.. it finally happened. Here is the situation: I took my car to a local mechanic shop and explained the issue I was having. Intermittent EPC light comes on and I lose all power. When I reset my car everything goes back to normal. Sometimes when I take off quickly the car struggles to move and jerks. And lastly getting a weird noise from near the turbo. The mechanic told me the compressor fan in the turbo is fucked. I asked my local VW specialists and they think its a blown turbo too. Should I get another opinion?
Not getting any smoke out the back.
submitted by MachWoz to GolfGTI [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:29 Adventurous-Fig-42 30 [M4F] Utah/ Anywhere - relationship

Looking to get to know someone near me or online and open to meeting later.
I like traveling music and like trying new things and being shown new music.
I can stay in the house all week but prefer to do something.
I don't drink or smoke anymore but you can.
I'm not picky about you but 40 or so is my limit on age.
I can send an updated pic, prefer chat over messages.
I'm not going to delete my roast me but I'm doing much better since then and I'm not looking for help
submitted by Adventurous-Fig-42 to r4r [link] [comments]

2023.02.03 05:28 kornelius_III Konami why do you hate us?

Konami why do you hate us?
For some reason they really hate us Vietnamese. Nearly every single recent releases from them are not available in our region. GOG, Steam,.. every single store they blocked us.
MGS5 was the odd one out for some time and recently they delisted it too! Like why?
I always chuckle a bit when there is a big sale from them on the front page of Steam, and when you click on it it is just empty because there is not a single game available. Ridiculous.
Store page of Metal Gear Solid V. It was available for purchase for quite some time, now it's gone.
submitted by kornelius_III to Steam [link] [comments]