Seduction by lesbian

SeductionMaestras

2020.09.30 22:23 GoldenCoquette SeductionMaestras

A discussion of psychological strategies and tactics for seducing hearts and souls. All is fair in love and war. If you enjoyed Robert Greene’s The Art of Seduction, you’ll love it here.
[link]


2016.06.22 01:36 AndyWarwheels "Do you have a boyfriend?" "I'm a lesbian, actually."

Lesbian Actually is a place for all people who are interested in discussing lesbian pop culture, issues, questions, and challenges.
[link]


2014.11.15 14:38 KillYourselfLiving The 48 Laws Of Power

The Official Discussions of The 48 Laws of Power as well as Robert Greene, Niccolò Machiavelli and similar authors of the such. With a primary focus on Power, Strategy, and Seduction.
[link]


2023.02.03 04:41 Violet_Warlock612 Idea for a relatively less cringeworthy crossover AU

Olathepic, the indie RPG where little girls come to die
Fifty years ago in Eagleland, a great white fracture tore across the sky, as if a glass dome over the galaxy had been pierced with a knife.
All at once, humanity found themselves in possession of supernatural powers of all varieties, but not all were equal.
A scientist made a metric by which powers were judged for their excellence, and thus the human race was divided between the Patricians and the Plebeians.
In a place called Olathe, there was a great riot of so-called Plebeians, and this became so violent, and so successful, that a detachment of Patricians from the government itself came and sealed all the Plebeian men of Olathe under a mountain.
The scientist, who was among them, learned that he could create spells that were incredibly strong if they were limited by conditions, so he sealed them underground with a ward that only the spirits of seven females of any age could break.
Not all Plebeians were necessarily weaker than the Patricians, as the test required that one must have both great power and fine manipulations of it, or especially unique abilities, so some sealed underground were incredibly strong. It is known that greater power equates to slower aging, so the strongest back then will probably still be alive now.
Since then, the government has thrown down a steady supply of junk food, booze, drugs and porno mags to keep them sated and keep the figurehead of Plebeian rebellion from coming back.
You, the daughter of that scientist, ran away because he's an asshole. You then fell down a hole in the mountain that everyone was sealed under.
Survive.
Featuring:
  1. Buzzo, the angst-ridden child stalker (Later Photoshop Buzzo, when he merges with the deceased spirit of Lisa after she devours the six contained girl spirits)
  2. Bradley, the momentary father figure who's too depressed and drunk to keep you from escaping but can still kick Buzzo's ass in his base state
  3. Cheese legs, a dog Brad has you kill in order to toughen you up.
  4. Terry, who replaces Napstablook but doesn't actually attack you.
  5. Rando, a guy who has been having an extended tea party with little girls, but whose appearance makes people assume he's killing them (also his soldiers have a tendency to kill them while capture them but Rando has necromantic powers that allows him to bring them back as ghosts)
  6. Nern, now wearing a blue parka, and a surrogate brother to Shocklord or Terry
  7. Shocklord or Terry in place of Papyrus
  8. Clint Moss, like Undyne but human and not a lesbian
  9. Lanks, the kind of terrible scientist, since the correlation between one's powers and one's personality and knowledge seems to have made it that most actual scientists and white-collar workers are considered Patricians. Never actually graduated high school. Spends most of his time as Hawk Hollywood' manager.
  10. Hawk Hollywood, a scary rockstar who has turned over 1,300 men gay and 3 little girls into paste.
  11. Bernard, grimdark god of super-angst, fusion of Buzzo, Lisa and everyone else underground but Brad because he hates Brad
  12. Lisa, who either fuses with Buzzo at the end or guides you through killing every man underground, consuming the six girls and returning to the surface to kill Dr. Yado. She also permanently merges with you midway through a Genocide run when Mr. Angonelli jumps out at you and cuts you, taking you over in that moment of weakness to strike him so hard his upper body explodes and his head is launched into a wall.
submitted by Violet_Warlock612 to lisathepainfulrpg [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 04:31 julm22 Vacation after FET?

I know… I know… I would be rolling my eyes too, but hear me out.
We have been through so much the past few years (as I’m sure many of you have with just fertility treatments alone). My father in law passed away shockingly and suddenly, my mother in law got diagnosed with terminal cancer…
In terms of IVF we are on year 3 with no LC. My wife went into this extremely healthy and ended a few weeks ago being told she can never carry. Ever (even confirmed by a reproductive immunologist). She got diagnosed along the way with a blood clotting disorder, rheumatoid arthritis, and brain tumors which lead to neurosurgery this past summer. She has had 3 miscarriages of 4 PGT tested embryos.
We, as a lot of you can relate, have put our entire lives on hold for these treatments as well as other outside tragedies we have experienced.
We are a lesbian couple so I am planning on doing a transfer in a few weeks. We never planned on this since I have my own health issues but I am willing to do anything at this point (that’s safe, of course) to carry us to potential parenthood.
In June we planned a trip to the Bahamas for this February. Now I have a transfer days before this trip. I feel foolish and selfish if it is risky at all to travel especially because my wife has already sacrificed so much thus far, I don’t want to mess this cycle up if it will be detrimental to travel. However, a vacation sounds really really really good for our mental health. It’s also too late to push back a transfer because we already paid for and started prepping for it.
Has anyone traveled or vacationed after an FET or during the TWW? I’m sorry if this sounds like a dramatic sad story, but I just really could use the break with my wife and I also want to make sure I’m not being “reckless” (if reckless is laying pool side and reading a bunch of books 🤣)
Thanks!
submitted by julm22 to IVF [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 04:24 SameSteak738 🚨WARNING🚨 This post is not meant to generalize or speak I’ll of any particular group. It’s just a personal rant.

So, this is the second time I date a single dad that chooses to settle for a femguy (too old to be called femboy), without even bothering to get to know me. I don’t particularly dislike that they chose a femguy. What upsets me is that they ask to be “friends” followed by unsolicited nudes and lame attempts at seduction.
It’s idiotic to judge people by their looks. I’m an great cook, good housekeeper, handy, and a good planner. I have helped raised 3 kids and my friends trust me to babysit for them. Just because I don’t have feminine qualities, it doesn’t mean I make a bad dad/husband.
Just wanted to get that off my chest.
EDIT: I should clarify that the losers never bothered to vet me. I realized that after several dates, texts, phone calls and so on, they never bothered to get to know me. So they only know what I brought up which kind of makes me the stupid one. My stupidity angers me the most.
submitted by SameSteak738 to askgaybros [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 04:17 Mentallucination Surgery rules

It seems some new medical issue obligates a little bit of work under the knife. Just make sure to be very careful to follow these rules to the letter to ensure that the entire process goes on normally.
Also, don't listen to any rules with swapped letters. THEY don't quite understand English yet.
Rule 1: When you arrive at the doctor's office to prepare yourself for the procedure, pay very close attention to the receptionist. If they are dressed in any primary colors, make sure not to speak to them. Don't worry, they will carry the conversation, and you can nod/shake your head when necessary.
If you speak to them they will take your voice away. Without your voice you will die.

Rule 2: Pay attention to the anesthesiologist assigned to you, basically the person monitoring the anesthetic. They will offer a selection of scents to be added to the mask, you may choose from the following: lemon, apple, grape and carbon monoxide. Make sure you select one of these options even if they do not mention it. For different doctors you will need different scents to stay alive; these are their descriptions.
Adam: This doctor likes to kiss his patients after they fall asleep. If you are kissed by him, cut off your lips and press them to the kiss. You will know by the maggots swarming from the kiss mark. He will not kiss you if you use grape scent.
Arvaz: This doctor likes to remove the effect of unconsciousness from the anesthetic, rendering you paralyzed but fully conscious and capable of feeling pain. Apple scent counteracts this. If you show any sign of trauma/pain after you wake up he will inject you with a substance that paralyzes you forever, and you will never escape.
Ming Lee: This doctor will not use anesthesia, but if you squirm or scream even a little bit she will begin caressing you and talking in a seductive voice while feeding you your own body parts sweetly. E3AT U'PShe will expect you to carry on a normal conversation with her during the surgery as well. She will give you the anesthesia mask, but it will be disconnected. Ask for carbon monoxide scent and hope you pass out before she begins operating.
Rahiem: This doctor likes to collect organs from his patients. If you don't pick lemon scent then you can only hope he takes your appendix or something. Or even if you do he might take it anyway if he doesn't like you. He will replace stolen organs with mechanical ones that will stop operating if you don't drink plenty of bleach. And do not think you will notice if he doesn't like you. He is very subtle.

I don't have time to describe them but you can discern their ethnicity from their names.

Rule 3: If you see another patient on your operating table, Pertend they don't exist. They are the spirits of dead patients and will not harm you.

Rule 4: When you wake up, none of the doctors will be there. Make sure to shut your eyes on your way out, smile, and leave. If you open them, the doctors will all crawl out of your eyeball.
Rule 5: Don't be scared, or else you will become pregnant with the antichrist. If this happens, stick a sharp object down whatever reproductive organ you have and start stabbing. MAKE SURE IT DIES. If you try and fail it will be born immediately and start reversing your digestive system until you begin eating yourself.
Rule 6: If three is a letter 6 in the date, feed your left tonsil to the receptionist.

Rule 7: Dont be scraed and enjoy your trip!
submitted by Mentallucination to HorrorRules [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 04:12 AuroraSinistra 5 Years Ago I My Wife. 3 Years Ago I Married Her. Today, All Her Kids Call Me Mama!

This is a Success post, no advice needed. I just wanted to share.
I didn't realize I was a lesbian until my late 20s after a decade of dating men. After a few years of dating women, I met the woman of my dreams! She came with 4 kids attached, but I love kids too. Dating was complicated due to the kids, but her ex-husband is thankfully fairly chill and does his part to care for them, meaning we mostly dated whenever he had them and she was free.
After about 6 months of dating I met the kids, and about a year after that we got married.
The kids call their mom mom, and we told them that it was their choice what to call me. "Aurora" (not my actual name but for the purposes of this post) or "Mama Aurora" or just Mama. The youngest was the first to call me Mama, almost right away, only being 3 at the time. The middle two started calling me Mama after about a year of marriage, but the eldest stubbornly just called me by my first name for the longest time. Even coaching her through social issues, body changes, homework struggles, and everything else, she made a point to never follow her younger siblings' lead and call me Mama. I accepted this, it was her choice, and it wasn't my place as Stepmom to force it on her, but I internally desperately hoped she would think of me as her mama one day.
Finally, during Christmas Break from school, we were curled up watching a show in cozy jammies and she just said "I love you mama." It took me a moment to take it in, but I told her I loved her too and gave her a kiss on top of her head.
No discussion about it or formal "I'm switching what I call you" announcement. She just said it, which is her way. She keeps everything tight to the chest and rarely makes her true feelings about anything known if she can help it; and is very careful with her words when she uses them.
I'm the proud mama to four kiddos. Happy tears were had after the kids went to bed that night, and I finally feel fully accepted and seen.
Just wanted to share!
submitted by AuroraSinistra to Parenting [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 03:31 Lettuce_Pants I lost all my friends on New Years because I was roofied

I was roofied on NYE and lost all of my friends
On NYE I was really excited to go out with some new friends as well as one that I had around for a couple months at that point. We made last minute plans to go to a bar crawl downtown, and originally I had planned to bring my boyfriend along, but instead he got a little too stoned and wanted to stay in (this is important for later). So I got all done up and headed over to a friend in the group's place for the pregame, where we were all going to meet up. I brought a bottle of tequila for everyone because I don't like to show up empty handed. We hung out and listened to music and everything was great. There was a total of about 10 girls that joined for the night, and a few of them I was meeting for either the first or second time, but they seemed nice enough. I did my pregaming, max of maybe 3 shots and a seltzer. I know my limits, and I drink enough to know how to pace myself. I'm by no means a tiny girl. We start to head downtown, and the first bar for the crawl has a pretty long line, I think it took us about 30 minutes to get into the door. No drinks in that time. We get in, I remember ordering a gin and tonic and going outside to the patio with the girls, we didn't stay out there because there wasn't any seating. We go downstairs and start dancing, and I remember ducking to the bathroom and this is where things start to go fuzzy. Somewhere in that jumble someone handed me a drink, it was one of the girls but I'm not sure if she bought it herself or if someone handed it to her. Things are really fuzzy in my memory, but my most distinct memories were losing my phone tasting pickle juice. After I lost my phone, I guess something happened because the only memories I have after that were hearing the midnight countdown happening in the back of my head, and then I was on the street with some random guy trying to get a ride home. I remember panicking because I knew I wouldn't be able to get a ride without my phone. So this guys came to the rescue? I'm alone. I don't know where my friends are. I'm drunk. I'm cold. I just want to go home. It's gotta be only like 12:30. The next memory I have is this man standing with my in the kitchen of my apartment, and my boyfriend is fast asleep on the couch right in front of him. I think this freaked him out, and I told him it was my boyfriend and that I wanted to go to sleep. He dipped out immediately and without words. I woke up the next morning and I was alone in my bed completely clotheless and I had slept a whopping 14 hours (unusual for me). Finally, on the 2nd I woke up to a text message from the one friend I had known longer than everyone else in the group, we were each others first friends in this new city. She told me that I had made her extremely uncomfortable on NYE and that I owed her and another girl in the group an apology. She didn't tell me what I did wrong other than I had said or did something against her values. I responded and apologized and asked her what happened and she just ignored me. I texted the other girl who I apparently owed an apology and let her know that whatever I did I didn't remember but I truly never had an intention of hurting her. Either of them, truly, I never had the intention of offending. I know even when I'm drunk I might say something out of pocket but nothing that would lose me my friends. Neither of them explained to me what happened. Still, a month later. After a few weeks I told another friend about what happened, someone whose lived in the city awhile and has had more experience partying in the city than I have. He said that he was almost 100% sure that I was tag-teamed by the guy who got me home and whoever else he was with. If my boyfriend hadn't been asleep on the couch when I got home I was on the chopping block for rape.
It's a month later now. I still haven't heard anything from the group of girls, or the one that I thought was my best friend. The more I think about it the more I just have undirected anger. Another thing I noted was that I was the only bisexual girl in the friendgroup, and my close friend really didn't like that. I kind of felt more increasingly like I was getting cold shouldered by her as she filled up a group of girls entirely comprised of lesbians. I really don't want to slip into thinking this is the reason I got cut out, mostly because I can never wrap my head around LGBT on LGBT hate. On the other hand, I haven't further reached out to the girls. I have no idea if they know I was roofied or went through what I went through. They made no effort to tell me what I did wrong, and made no acknowledgement that I wasn't with them by the end of the night. The close friend still has my spare apartment keys, and I left a hand sewn bag that my mother maid me at the house we met up at.
I feel so hopeless in this situation, like there's really just nothing I can do to change it. There's no right thing to say. Even if they knew what happened, they've shown me who they really are. People who are okay leaving a drunk girl in the city at the bar by herself, regardless of what she's done.
TLDR; I was mysteriously roofied on NYE during a bar crawl, where my friends left me. The only reason I am okay is because my boyfriend was asleep on the couch when the guy brought me back.
submitted by Lettuce_Pants to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 03:02 312Michelle "Raising Ryland: Our Story of Parenting a Transgender Child with No Strings Attached" by Hillary Wittington is a great book and contributes to the fight against prejudice and bigotry spread by the Conservative party in our society and that's a good thing...

"Raising Ryland: Our Story of Parenting a Transgender Child with No Strings Attached" by Hillary Wittington is a great book and contributes to the fight against prejudice and bigotry spread by the Conservative party in our society and that's a good thing...
The story of Ryland, transgender boy:
"Synopsis:
This powerful, moving story—which has already touched more than seven million through a viral video created by the Whittington family—is a mother’s first-hand account of her emotional choice to embrace her transgender child.
When Hillary and Jeff Whittington posted a YouTube video chronicling their five-year-old son Ryland’s transition from girl to boy, they didn’t expect it to be greeted with such fervor. Beautiful and moving, the video documenting Hillary’s and Jeff’s love for their child instantly went viral and has been seen by more than seven million viewers since its posting in May 2014.
Now for the first time, they tell their story in full, offering an emotional and moving account of their journey alongside their exceptional child. After they discovered their daughter Ryland was deaf at age one and needed cochlear implants, the Whittingtons spent nearly four years successfully teaching Ryland to speak. But once Ryland gained the power of speech, it was time for them to listen as Ryland insisted, “I am a boy!” And listen they did. After learning that forty-one percent of people who identify as transgender attempt to take their own lives, Hillary and her husband Jeff made it their mission to support their child—no matter what.
From the earliest stages of deciphering Ryland through clothing choices to examining the difficult conversations that have marked every stage of Ryland’s transition, Hillary Whittington shares her experiences as a mother through it all, demonstrating both the resistance and support that their family has encountered as they try to erase the stigma surrounding the word “transgender.” In telling her family’s story, she hopes she can assist the world in accepting that even children as young as five, can have profound and impactful things to say and share. What emerges is a powerful story of unconditional love, accepting others for who they are, and doing what’s right, regardless of whether those around you understand it....
"Author:
Mother of two Hillary Whittington has advocated for her children for years, serving as a classroom volunteer and public speaker. Through Raising Ryland, Hillary hopes to bring hope, strength, and humor to her experiences as the parent of a transgender child. In sharing her story, she encourages readers to have the courage to make the world a better place for all of us."
"Hillary Whittington talks with Andrew Solomon
Andrew Solomon is the author of Far From the Tree and The Noonday Demon, among other books.
Andrew Solomon (AS): How were you able to know for sure that your child was authentically a boy and that he wasn’t just a girl going through a neurotic phase?
Hillary Whittington (HW): As a stay-at-home mom, I had a very close relationship with Ryland starting from birth. After his deaf diagnosis, I spent hours teaching Ryland ASL, and after the cochlear implant surgery, teaching him to speak. Around his third birthday, which was after having over a year of sound, he started telling us, "I am a boy." We laughed initially, thinking it was just childhood confusion, but over time Ryland persisted with a very masculine presentation. To him, being a "tomboy" wasn’t enough. Typically, tomboys are not ashamed of their bodies or being seen as a "girl" in the public eye. Additionally, our original beliefs that this may just be a phase were changed as his expression and discomfort continued to strengthen. Ryland began to show signs of shame and sadness when anyone saw him as a girl and if mistaken for a boy in public, he lit up and stood taller. As a mom, I knew there was something deeper going on inside of my child.
AS: How was having a deaf child similar to or different from having a trans child? When you have a child who has two marked differences, how do you decide which one to focus on when?
HW: Without a doubt, having a deaf child prepared me for having a transgender child. When we decided to go forward with the cochlear implant surgery, I knew the Deaf community did not agree with our decision. I prepared myself for the backlash, but remained strong, as I felt we were doing the appropriate thing for our young child. By the time we figured out that Ryland was also transgender, I had become very experienced in facing the objection of others. Certainly, it was now a much larger community who would potentially question our decision to support Ryland as a boy, but once again, I knew we were doing what was best for our child. Ryland has been very successful in the use of his implants and does very well with his hearing. Due to this, most of our focus has shifted to supporting his being transgender and educating the world on what that means.
AS: What has the role of faith been in your journey to acceptance of your child and your fate? How different would your experience have been if you hadn’t had faith behind you?
HW: Honestly, I was angry with God in the beginning. It seemed cruel that Ryland was faced with yet another tough challenge in his young life. I felt even more betrayed when many of our critics identified as Christian. I realized I had a choice: I could throw away my faith entirely, or be the example of a loving and kind Christian. I must show others that it can be possible to have faith and also support your child as either transgender or gay. I believe wholeheartedly that we were chosen to walk this path and my God loves everyone, regardless of their gender identity or sexual preferences. If I didn't have faith in my life, it would be much more difficult for me to understand why we were chosen to walk this path.
AS: How did you get from so much sadness to a place of such celebration? Do you feel like the love that informed the painful aspects of this process is the same as the love that brought you through it?
HW: Once I was able to come to the understanding that Ryland could still have the opportunity to live a very happy, prosperous, and fulfilling life, an enormous weight was lifted from my shoulders. I realized that life truly is what you make of it, and at the end of the day, if the Ryland is happy, I am happy. In the grand scheme of things, it is the differences we have as human beings that makes us unique and should be celebrated, and Ryland is the child he is because of his differences. If we were to sit around feeling sorry for ourselves, or our situation, the world would respond to us negatively."
"Ryland's mother - "Do I want a living son or a dead daughter?
One statistic stayed with them more than any other: 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide, according to the National Transgender Discrimination Survey, conducted by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and National Center for Transgender Equality. The national average for attempted suicide is 4.6%.
“Do I want a living son or a dead daughter?” Hillary asks so powerfully in the film. “We were not willing to take that risk,” she wrote in her YouTube video.
https://www.cnn.com/2014/12/31/us/ohio-transgender-teen-suicide/
Family and social acceptance are key factors in the health and well-being of someone who is transgender, explained Tando.
“I think the scary stats we see about transgender people are those who have probably not been affirmed by their families for a very long time or have kept it to themselves for a very long time,” she said. “And then the coming out process is more difficult the older they are.”
Those “scary stats” don’t usually apply to children, like Ryland, who can live as the gender they identify with at an earlier age, according to Tando.
“They’ve shown over time that kids who have family support like the early intervention, they have a very similar statistic of suicidality and suicidal ideation as the general population,” she said. “So the family support is so important.”
A gender-affirming approach in which the parents listen to the child is “by far the one that’s most likely to have a positive mental health outcome,” said Dr. Stephen Rosenthal, a pediatric endocrinologist and medical director of the Child and Adolescent Gender Center at the University of California, San Francisco.
Rosenthal pointed to a 2014 Dutch study, utmcmd=organicutmctr=(not%20provided)&utmv=-&utmk=162903740)which found that transgender young adults who were given medicine to delay the onset of puberty and were then given hormones corresponding to their gender identity were found to be just as happy and satisfied with their lives, if not happier, than the young adults who didn’t identify themselves as transgender.
“That’s what this family needs to know,” said Rosenthal, referring to the Whittingtons, “what the world needs to know.”"
See this:
CNN documentary on Ryland and his family:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVFZlIkl_-U
https://www.cnn.com/2015/03/18/living/feat-transgender-child-raising-ryland/index.html
Parents of transgender boy become advocates for equality:
https://www.hrc.org/news/raising-ryland-parents-of-transgender-boy-become-advocates-for-equality
If you think you know a child who might be transgender, read "Raising Ryland":
https://www.statesman.com/story/lifestyle/2016/10/12/if-you-think-you-know-a-child-who-might-be-transgender-read-raising-ryland/10229625007/
You can read "Raising Ryland" in pdf format right here on the transreads website:
https://transreads.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/2021-08-04_610b0f8817e61_RaisingRylandOurStoryofParentingaTransgenderChildwithNoStringsAttachedbyHillaryWhittingtonz-lib.org_.pdf
Conservative want tro erase LGBT people, including trans people out of existence, this is transphobia and transgender genocide, don't stay silent, speak out:
https://www.reddit.com/TransphobiaProject/comments/10rwpjg/transphobia_and_transgender_genocide_trump_gives/
Conservative ideology is cancer on society. These Conservative monsters won’t stop and they won’t play by the rules. They don’t want to “own” you. They want to rule you. Fair warning.
One of many angry and disgusted LGBT and pro-choice Canadian Center-Left Christians.
submitted by 312Michelle to Rants [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 02:56 Zig240 WIBTA If I Posted My Bad Experience With A Local LGBT Group?

I would like to start off with stating I am a lesbian and I have a non-binary sibling who was apart of this new LGBT+ rights group for our small town. My sibling got into it first and I was invited in since I was already starting my own group in my college.
Slowly I realized the organizer wanted us to treat the group as a full time job and have him be the face of it all. We needed to put money in the events, help get everything planned, and set up everything. That was ok with me at first until my family had multiple tragedies happen that caused both me and my sibling to become less active in the group and could not afford to give the group money for events. We were both upfront with the organizer and other members about what was happening and were given the ok, or so we thought.
Flash to today when in the group the organizer posted we were being kicked for inactivity, without warning and while my sibling was at a family member's funeral. This blindsided us, especially since in our eyes he had been just as inactive in the group.
I already plan to bar them from events ran by my group but I'm wondering if I should post online about what happened. I live in a small town that is known for how racist and anti-LGBT it is and I don't want to fuel those people, but at the same time I don't want others to be burned by this group.
So WIBTA if I posted online about the group talking about this?
submitted by Zig240 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 02:53 312Michelle "Raising Ryland: Our Story of Parenting a Transgender Child with No Strings Attached" by Hillary Wittington is a great book and contributes to the fight against prejudice and bigotry spread by the Conservative party in our society and that's a good thing...

The story of Ryland, transgender boy:
"Synopsis:
This powerful, moving story—which has already touched more than seven million through a viral video created by the Whittington family—is a mother’s first-hand account of her emotional choice to embrace her transgender child.
When Hillary and Jeff Whittington posted a YouTube video chronicling their five-year-old son Ryland’s transition from girl to boy, they didn’t expect it to be greeted with such fervor. Beautiful and moving, the video documenting Hillary’s and Jeff’s love for their child instantly went viral and has been seen by more than seven million viewers since its posting in May 2014.
Now for the first time, they tell their story in full, offering an emotional and moving account of their journey alongside their exceptional child. After they discovered their daughter Ryland was deaf at age one and needed cochlear implants, the Whittingtons spent nearly four years successfully teaching Ryland to speak. But once Ryland gained the power of speech, it was time for them to listen as Ryland insisted, “I am a boy!” And listen they did. After learning that forty-one percent of people who identify as transgender attempt to take their own lives, Hillary and her husband Jeff made it their mission to support their child—no matter what.
From the earliest stages of deciphering Ryland through clothing choices to examining the difficult conversations that have marked every stage of Ryland’s transition, Hillary Whittington shares her experiences as a mother through it all, demonstrating both the resistance and support that their family has encountered as they try to erase the stigma surrounding the word “transgender.” In telling her family’s story, she hopes she can assist the world in accepting that even children as young as five, can have profound and impactful things to say and share. What emerges is a powerful story of unconditional love, accepting others for who they are, and doing what’s right, regardless of whether those around you understand it...."
"Author:
Mother of two Hillary Whittington has advocated for her children for years, serving as a classroom volunteer and public speaker. Through Raising Ryland, Hillary hopes to bring hope, strength, and humor to her experiences as the parent of a transgender child. In sharing her story, she encourages readers to have the courage to make the world a better place for all of us."
"Hillary Whittington talks with Andrew Solomon
Andrew Solomon is the author of Far From the Tree and The Noonday Demon, among other books.
Andrew Solomon (AS): How were you able to know for sure that your child was authentically a boy and that he wasn’t just a girl going through a neurotic phase?
Hillary Whittington (HW): As a stay-at-home mom, I had a very close relationship with Ryland starting from birth. After his deaf diagnosis, I spent hours teaching Ryland ASL, and after the cochlear implant surgery, teaching him to speak. Around his third birthday, which was after having over a year of sound, he started telling us, "I am a boy." We laughed initially, thinking it was just childhood confusion, but over time Ryland persisted with a very masculine presentation. To him, being a "tomboy" wasn’t enough. Typically, tomboys are not ashamed of their bodies or being seen as a "girl" in the public eye. Additionally, our original beliefs that this may just be a phase were changed as his expression and discomfort continued to strengthen. Ryland began to show signs of shame and sadness when anyone saw him as a girl and if mistaken for a boy in public, he lit up and stood taller. As a mom, I knew there was something deeper going on inside of my child.
AS: How was having a deaf child similar to or different from having a trans child? When you have a child who has two marked differences, how do you decide which one to focus on when?
HW: Without a doubt, having a deaf child prepared me for having a transgender child. When we decided to go forward with the cochlear implant surgery, I knew the Deaf community did not agree with our decision. I prepared myself for the backlash, but remained strong, as I felt we were doing the appropriate thing for our young child. By the time we figured out that Ryland was also transgender, I had become very experienced in facing the objection of others. Certainly, it was now a much larger community who would potentially question our decision to support Ryland as a boy, but once again, I knew we were doing what was best for our child. Ryland has been very successful in the use of his implants and does very well with his hearing. Due to this, most of our focus has shifted to supporting his being transgender and educating the world on what that means.
AS: What has the role of faith been in your journey to acceptance of your child and your fate? How different would your experience have been if you hadn’t had faith behind you?
HW: Honestly, I was angry with God in the beginning. It seemed cruel that Ryland was faced with yet another tough challenge in his young life. I felt even more betrayed when many of our critics identified as Christian. I realized I had a choice: I could throw away my faith entirely, or be the example of a loving and kind Christian. I must show others that it can be possible to have faith and also support your child as either transgender or gay. I believe wholeheartedly that we were chosen to walk this path and my God loves everyone, regardless of their gender identity or sexual preferences. If I didn't have faith in my life, it would be much more difficult for me to understand why we were chosen to walk this path.
AS: How did you get from so much sadness to a place of such celebration? Do you feel like the love that informed the painful aspects of this process is the same as the love that brought you through it?
HW: Once I was able to come to the understanding that Ryland could still have the opportunity to live a very happy, prosperous, and fulfilling life, an enormous weight was lifted from my shoulders. I realized that life truly is what you make of it, and at the end of the day, if the Ryland is happy, I am happy. In the grand scheme of things, it is the differences we have as human beings that makes us unique and should be celebrated, and Ryland is the child he is because of his differences. If we were to sit around feeling sorry for ourselves, or our situation, the world would respond to us negatively."
"Ryland's mother - "Do I want a living son or a dead daughter?
One statistic stayed with them more than any other: 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide, according to the National Transgender Discrimination Survey, conducted by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and National Center for Transgender Equality. The national average for attempted suicide is 4.6%.
“Do I want a living son or a dead daughter?” Hillary asks so powerfully in the film. “We were not willing to take that risk,” she wrote in her YouTube video.
https://www.cnn.com/2014/12/31/us/ohio-transgender-teen-suicide/
Family and social acceptance are key factors in the health and well-being of someone who is transgender, explained Tando.
“I think the scary stats we see about transgender people are those who have probably not been affirmed by their families for a very long time or have kept it to themselves for a very long time,” she said. “And then the coming out process is more difficult the older they are.”
Those “scary stats” don’t usually apply to children, like Ryland, who can live as the gender they identify with at an earlier age, according to Tando.
“They’ve shown over time that kids who have family support like the early intervention, they have a very similar statistic of suicidality and suicidal ideation as the general population,” she said. “So the family support is so important.”
A gender-affirming approach in which the parents listen to the child is “by far the one that’s most likely to have a positive mental health outcome,” said Dr. Stephen Rosenthal, a pediatric endocrinologist and medical director of the Child and Adolescent Gender Center at the University of California, San Francisco.
Rosenthal pointed to a 2014 Dutch study, utmcmd=organicutmctr=(not%20provided)&utmv=-&utmk=162903740)which found that transgender young adults who were given medicine to delay the onset of puberty and were then given hormones corresponding to their gender identity were found to be just as happy and satisfied with their lives, if not happier, than the young adults who didn’t identify themselves as transgender.
“That’s what this family needs to know,” said Rosenthal, referring to the Whittingtons, “what the world needs to know.”"
See this:
CNN documentary on Ryland and his family:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVFZlIkl_-U
https://www.cnn.com/2015/03/18/living/feat-transgender-child-raising-ryland/index.html
Parents of transgender boy become advocates for equality:
https://www.hrc.org/news/raising-ryland-parents-of-transgender-boy-become-advocates-for-equality
If you think you know a child who might be transgender, read "Raising Ryland":
https://www.statesman.com/story/lifestyle/2016/10/12/if-you-think-you-know-a-child-who-might-be-transgender-read-raising-ryland/10229625007/
You can read "Raising Ryland" in pdf format right here on the transreads website:
https://transreads.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/2021-08-04_610b0f8817e61_RaisingRylandOurStoryofParentingaTransgenderChildwithNoStringsAttachedbyHillaryWhittingtonz-lib.org_.pdf
Conservative want tro erase LGBT people, including trans people out of existence, this is transphobia and transgender genocide, don't stay silent, speak out:
https://www.reddit.com/TransphobiaProject/comments/10rwpjg/transphobia_and_transgender_genocide_trump_gives/
Conservative ideology is cancer on society. These Conservative monsters won’t stop and they won’t play by the rules. They don’t want to “own” you. They want to rule you. Fair warning.
One of many angry and disgusted LGBT and pro-choice Canadian Center-Left Christians.
submitted by 312Michelle to TransphobiaProject [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 02:30 toxickirin120 I am getting diagnosis for schizophrenia Monday and I am afraid I will be institutionalized which I won't how do I handle that

So I'm going to get a diagnosis for schizophrenia Monday and I am worried that I will be institutionalized based on arguments that I have had with my parents in the past I am not a threat to myself and others and I can function but I know they rarely institutionalize people with a diagnosis I also fear people will think I am delusional for being a transgender lesbian how do I handle that worry. by the way I am 25 years old
submitted by toxickirin120 to asktransgender [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 02:19 kidnamedladesh Het queer relationship discourse

cis bisexuals: "hey can queer monosexuals stop saying bisexuals in het relationships are lessers/are 'just straight', please? if both people are bisexual it is still inherently queer and m/f relationships aren't automatically evil and bad. we deserve to have a place in pride, we don't deserve to be treated like this by our own people." everyone: "So true! Bi4bi het relationships are so queer and yas bitch! Slay!!" transhet person: "uh yeah me too please" everyone: "UMMM... YOU'RE STR*IGHT??????? 🤢🤢🤢 YOU CAN'T BE STRAIGHT (🤮🤮) AND QUEER... Errmmmm you're achkussaly homosexual because trans men are females and trans women are males so if you're attracted to the same gender you're gay... (what's t4t???) What do you mean this is literally the same argument cis bisexuals make? ITS DIFFERENT BECAUSE UHMMM UHHH bisexuals are bisexuals and you're a evil straightie who's incapable of being empathetic or a good person because you share the same sexuality as our oppressors (and i don't apply this same logic to cis queers for some reason)... Transhets are just gay and lesbian-lite when you think about it... anyway kill all straight people LOL! Transhets don't face any oppression whatsoever and they're all annoying and privileged Btw. straight people can't be queer Kys." "...why don't transhet people feel welcome in the queer community and trans spaces? 😢 this is so sad bros"
uj/ if you don't get the point of this post or if you just wanna argue with me don't even bother commenting
submitted by kidnamedladesh to transgendercirclejerk [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 01:48 Shadow_night1234 Took another screenshot of another photo of MXR plays. Trying to see if the Face App fits the meme.

Took another screenshot of another photo of MXR plays. Trying to see if the Face App fits the meme. submitted by Shadow_night1234 to MxRMods [link] [comments]


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submitted by mercyqueenx to CoursesByTate [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 01:09 LeftWingLich "If a guy likes masculine girls, he's gay." How often is that accusation true?

The gist of the question is: Do some gay men date more masculine women because they can't be honest with themselves? And I guess, do some lesbians date effeminate men for the same reason?

In the past, when I asked for dating advice, I was sometimes falsely accused of being gay and in denial, or asked if I would date a trans woman. Why?

Because I'm into traditionally (and some societally) masculine traits in women. Physical strength, tallness, leadership, protectiveness, provision, stoicism, being more logical, heroism, courage, being willing to engage in violence or hunt, lack of fear of certain pests (mice, spiders, roaches, etc), generally just being a tomboy, and so on and so forth.


By contrast, feminine traits for the most part don't interest me very much. In fact, submissiveness, pacifism, and physical weakness are the worst feminine traits to me--totally unattractive. The only ones that get a positive rating attraction-wise are female anatomy and the desire for motherhood.


Basically, my ideal woman is kind of strong, capable, and dare I say--manly. Think Vasquez from Aliens, the female soldiers from Gears of War, Lady Eivor from Assassins' Creed: Valhalla, Revy from Black Lagoon, or Misty Briarton from CoD Zombies Mode.

So I'm essentially the target of the meme quote, "Tomboy GF? Sounds like you want a boyfriend with tits bro."

And despite all of this, I'm actually straight as an arrow. But some of the people who gave me feedback in the past just couldn't believe that a man could be straight and prefer masculine qualities in the opposite sex. Apparently, any guy who would prefer a masculine girl over a feminine one is a gay, but he can't bring himself to date a man. And again, some of them asked if I would date an MTF transgender.

Firstly, that's not how being gay works. If you're a gay guy, it doesn't matter how masculine or muscular a girl is; you're going to be unattracted to her because she's female and you're male. Masculine or not, she's still female. I honestly can't believe I have to point this out to people.

And two, how often are those accusations actually true. How often does a gay guy compensate for not being honest with himself by dating tomboys or otherwise masculine women? Heck, how often do closeted lesbians date feminine men? I seriously doubt that EVER happens.
submitted by LeftWingLich to PurplePillDebate [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 01:00 ujackstripes Communicating with men

So - I'm a late forties woman recently out of a long-term lesbian partnership/marriage, but will now essentially be excessively dating men (please, no commentary). I'm not used to communicating with men outside of platonically, so I was just wondering if anyone could give me any general thoughts.
I know all men are different, just as we women are. I'd just be interested to know the difference between say - a really sweet man I just met on an app who I have really connected with (we have already talked for hours at a time about interesting topics and I liked him right off the bat), and others I read about on here (by gf's) who sound like they don't know how to communicate at all.
The man I am talking to on the app is interesting, so nice, but is definitely guarded (to be fair it's only been days), so I'm not sure how to take it forward, and is there a way I should be, or...? This could be one of those "how long is a piece of string" type questions, so if so, please say! :D
Tia!
submitted by ujackstripes to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 00:40 Kraasiv i want to help my sisters but I don't know how to

I (21M) am the oldest of my fathers 4 children and his only son. The family is essentialy split into me, my older brother from my mothers first marriage, and my younger sister, who we will call S(17). Then there is my fathers second marriage with 2 daughters, the older one, M(12) and E(10).
I have my own place for about 3 years now. I got a stable job with different work shifts, live about 1 hour away from the city where my whole family lives.
S's life is alright. Though she is turning into one of those tiktok girls, very average in her intelligence and can be quite narrowminded, naggy and just a bit entitled. I didn't spend too much time with her since I moved out 3 years ago and even before that I had my own struggles to worry with and couldn't handle my family.
My dad's a fuckin loser like straight up. Abusive alcoholic, the whole circus. I'm worried about the two sisters E and M. Their mother can't handle her job as well as the two girls. She has a seeious sleeping pills addiction and sleeps most of the day, working night shifts. The girls are pretty much always alone.
I have always established myself to all three sisters as "hey, if you need help or someone to talk to, I'm here. Like actually, not just words." M and I get along, she is essentially an introverted version of me, she enjoys drawing -I play music, she watches anime and manga and so do I, we both speak english to each other and generally understand each other greatly.
She understands meme culture as well as I do and our humour is on par.
Here is where her problems come in: I'm an openly bisexual christian in a liberal-muslim family. (Backlash is heavy ofc) M started talking to me and asking questions about my sexuality and how I came to discover it and I answered all of them to the best of my abilities. 6 months ago she told me she is a lesbian and doesnt want to tell her muslim mother. I promised not to talk to family about it. What I'm worried about is that she gets these ideas of sexuality from the content she watches. From the memes she sent me or the stories I see on whatsapp I can make out that she has always been a bit confused about her place in some sense. I'm afraid her coming out as homosexual is a way of attracting attention she desires. I am NOT saying she isn't homosexual. I'm the last person in my family to judge her for it. I just don't feel comfortable knowing she might get influenced by the internet and social media.
Her other problem is her spectrum: i am no professional doctor in ADHD or Autism, but as an ADHDer I've always speculated she is somewhere on the spectrum of ADHD/ADD or Autism. Her mother doesnt wanna diagnose it, and getting a diagnosis for girls is a bit hard...
E is turning into my sister S and I wanna at least teach her some importanr things too I couldn't with S.
I want to be a big brother for her. Not just a distant figure she texts every now and then. I want to go out with her and teach her things, I want to make sure she learns lessons and becomes confident. Work and the distance are keeping me from doing that. I'm moving to another state in march. I know there is no solution to this, at least not that I see one.
submitted by Kraasiv to Advice [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 00:08 leslala12 Going to a lesbian bar by myself this weekend! Nervous but committed, bring kindle or book with me?

I live outside of a city, outside enough that it’s cheaper for me to grab a hostel bed than take an Uber home if I got out in the city. I have been wanting to go into the city and go to a lesbian bar but have been nervous about going by myself and not meeting anyone and wasting my evening in the city. There is an event going on during the day in the city, so I’m pulling the trigger and going to the event, booking the hostel bed and going to the lesbian bar afterwards. This way if the bar is a bust, at least I got to go to the event during the day and it wasn’t a waste. I need to put myself out there! Do you think if I take a kindle to read that’s leaving myself more open to interaction than a phone? Or should I stick to a real book? Thanks!
submitted by leslala12 to latebloomerlesbians [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 00:06 Shyguy02132 28 demi male developing feelings for a 28F lesbian friend. How should I handle this?

So I've known this girl for almost a year now and we've gotten close. And she's an amazing and caring person and pretty much everything you would want in a partner. The problem is I believe she's a lesbian and it's just never really came up in a conversation about our sexualities. And I've expressed my feelings for her in roundabout ways as I've come to really care for her and don't want to ruin our friendship by asking her out. I guess I'm just here to hear everyone's thoughts on how I should handle this.
submitted by Shyguy02132 to askwomenadvice [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 23:47 shioshisubaka 20F [F4F] France/Anywhere - Asian lesbian looking for a long distance relationship

Hello there, you can call me Shio, I'm a 20F student from France, I'm asian (Chinese / Cambodian / Vietnamese) Before reading the rest you need to know that I've learned 2 things about me after trying out here : 1. I'm lesbian 2. I will only date people originally from South-East / East Asia These are personnal preferences I can't seem to leave behind so thank you for respecting them.

Now we can move on to my little presentation :
What do I do and Who am I ? I'm a computer science student in an online school, living in the countryside I have very limited social interactions irl lol so I try to make it up online to meet people xD I'm from France so UTC+1 timezone
These days I'm studying CS, trying to learn new things like languages, driving, health related activities, to just level up in life lol, I also help my family and take care of my grandma (that's why my mobility is still pretty restricted for now), want to start working a little too to make some income, I try to chill too some hours per day by playing games, watching videos / movies, talking to my friends.
Generally I'm just working towards my goals while trying to enjoy living ~
Physically not so tall about 1m55, long black hair, love streetwear and techwear but also regular simple clothes, prefer tomboy clothes than girly ones x' ) a pretty regular body but I'm working on it to get stronger

What I'm looking for and why ? I know I'm pretty busy with all the work I want to do and that I love my family and friends too, but I guess like about everyone here, I want to find a romantic relationship as I think it's something more intimate, we will support each other and can actually be romantic xD
I think I need someone who can take care of themselves and also strive to get better and lvl up in life like me but at the same time who can be there to enjoy some time together daily by chatting or anything we can do lol
Almost forgot but age range I would like is between 19-22

Some interests I have if it's interesting : - music : korean and japanese mostly about all genres but mostly pop and rap - webtoons / mangas / anime : but these days not so much haha because of the next one - games : I'm actually playing all Yakuza games and I think I'm a certified fangirl lol - health : I've started to exercise at home with games on nintendo switch xD also would love to learn martial arts - favorite drink : boba :3 - tech : nothing in particular for now but as I study CS I hope to work in this field later - learning skills : right now it's driving but next would be learning a language (Japanese and Thai) and cooking x' ) - philosophy / psychology : to live and feel better in life, if you do care I'm an I/ENFJ (mbti)

I think that's all I can say about me for now owo
Thank you for reading and have a nice day / night :D
submitted by shioshisubaka to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 23:15 ystavallinen letter coming out to my wife.

This is part of a letter I've written because I need to see a psychologist about some stuff I've been going through some stuff in my life. So it's muck-raked a slew of old emotions... and in the process I'm going to wind up having to talk about sex and gender to them... and if I'm going to share something like that with a doctor, I'm going to have to share it with my wife.
I'm just putting this here for a bit and then delete it.
/sigh
This final thing is the bombshell. This is something I have never talked to anyone about, not even my wife until now. I’m past it. It’s part of me, but I’m past it. I’m only bringing it up because I think it has clinical relevance and I want my wife to finally know because it is literally the only thing about me she doesn’t know. My wife and I had a conversation years ago where I almost told her. She knew something was on my mind. I didn’t reach out because I wouldn’t have been able to explain it to anyone before now. Without context it doesn’t make any sense. It’s been hard enough to put to page years of internal processing and difficulty in a coherent story (this has taken weeks to write). I wouldn’t have been able to do it before. I feel exposed.
I had a period of many years in my 20’s where I thought I might be transgender. It’s a shock to write that down. I’m past it. It’s part of me, but I’m past it.
Why did I feel at the time that I was or wanted to be a woman? First and foremost was the awkwardness I felt in interpersonal relations. After all of those years of waiting for a woman to be interested in me, I had finally had my first relationship my 4th year in college, and it lasted an entire month and I was a wreck; there was a lot of hurt and confusion when it ended. I didn’t even lose my virginity. I was shaken. In the years after, off and on, moments from my childhood and young adulthood playing with girl neighbors or reading their books, being around them as I grew up and curiosity about being female were coming back to me in a different focus. I also really liked children; I was like a magnet to them when I was a lifeguarded for 5 years and had a summer at a day-care job. I could have been a great teacher. In the late 80’s early 90’s men who had affinity for kids were regarded with mistrust enough that I didn’t go that direction. At the time, all of those thoughts and feelings started welling up and kind-of flipped this gender-questioning switch.
Thinking about my male friends; I’ve felt like the preponderance of my male friends at the time were just friends of opportunity or circumstance. The men I hung around with regularly, I’ve never felt I had strong one-on-one friendships with them like I was valued; most of the time at arm’s length. I rarely felt sought out or like a trusted confidante. Around men in general I didn’t relate to guy talk or be able to take conversation beyond superficial talk. I was lonely. I felt like nobody cared. I didn’t feel like I was one of them. In contrast, I much more often had a strong affinity for women in my life. They would invite me to things. They would call. They’d be happy to see me. I’d meet a woman and wish they were friends of mine. I’d want to know them as people. They were much more likely to engage me in emotionally supportive and meaningful ways just as friends. I watched how women support other women; even strangers. I came to feel like an outsider to both genders, and I got it in my head that as a woman, my troubles fitting in and connecting with people would have been dampened.
I didn’t really like my body that much either. I still don’t feel that jazzed about it. It’s me, but in some ways it just feels like a vessel. In my 20’s, if you had put a button in front of me and told me that I could press it and have been born a girl, or turned into a woman on the spot, it’s highly likely I would have pressed it. That kind of intrusive thought was in my head all the time. If you produced a button like that now, I would certainly stare at it. I had even given her a name.
Why didn’t I act on it? Let me count the ways. I had no idea what to do about it. What I knew about what it took to do it was inconceivable. My limited experience with therapy to that point was that it was not helpful. I knew enough about myself that my bandwith and emotional capacity is limited. My family wouldn’t have known what the heck to do. I still had vestiges of religious prudishness. I was living in the South where gender support… if it is even named that at the time… didn’t exist to my knowledge, and I doubt I would have sought it. I even put up a small number of very subtle trial balloons with a few open-minded female friends I trusted and they did not pick up on it, at all. Quite importantly, I would never do surgery anyway; I would only do surgery for emergencies.
I was aware of transgendered women through books and TV. The ones I was aware of weren’t anyone I related to or wanted to be. Those who were out and public were all very femme; I did not feel femme. I would have been a tomboy. I was also attracted to women. I’d never heard anything about transgender lesbians. It was incongruous and unimaginable. There are also a lot of unhappy transexual stories. Stories of discrimination. Stories of constant anxiety about passing, manner, and voice. How to find love or live alone? There are a lot of trans women who come through that process, and they make it. There are just as many or more who are faced with lifelong depression and challenges. I was acutely aware of that. I couldn’t possibly act on this given my young life being bullied and actively isolated. I can tolerate being alone, but I cannot tolerate a lifetime of being actively targeted and ostracized as I was before college.
For my own questions. Even if I had taken the step to find help and if I made a decision to go forward. I had no idea how I would learn any of it. I already knew I was bad at reading people and social cues. I had no idea how I could have possibly successfully socialized as female. I was still working toward degrees and getting jobs with no idea how to keep my life together for an uncertain outcome. Again, I knew my bandwidth is impaired and knew that my ability to compartmentalize and buffer myself would have been overwhelmed. I would have had to give up literally everything else to go down a path like that. I would have been unmoored.
Then there are biological and emotional reasons. Since one of the triggers for me was playing with girls from my childhood, I knew that I wouldn’t have a female childhood. I’d lived my whole life and was already bad at socializing. There would be no foundation. It would be an act. Finally, one of the things about the female experience that I would be excluded from was pregnancy and motherhood. I thought even then that relationship was magic. I know lots of women are motherless, but that was an intrusive though I was having and t I had trouble shaking it. I knew I would be setting myself up for a great deal of depression. It was impossible.
Why did I finally decide I wasn’t trans? It started to go away. I couldn’t relate to the trans experiences I was aware of. Trans women are women; they know it in their hearts and souls. I do not know it. I feel like it would be playing a character. Trans women have urgency; they act as if their lives depend on it. I was not in crisis. I never felt urgency. Trans women feel the way they do most, if not all, of the time. I don’t necessarily feel female around females. There are things women do that I knew I would never pick up or show interest: the way I speak, the way a lot of them social network, the details they pay attention to within relationships, I don't like jewelry, I've no interest in fashion and makeup. When I look at a photograph of a group of women; I don't see myself in it.
Even while I was going through this, there were plenty of times that I didn't feel female at all. As my life got filled up people and things that make me happy, the gender question went away. There's a funny Dave Barry joke about car bowling; men invariably respond, "how do I do this", and women "why would you do this?"; in his story I am clearly the man. When I am happy and I feel like my life has direction, I don’t think about my gender much at all.
I know I idolize and idealize the female sex a little. Women have challenging lives. I came to understand that what I would ultimately be doing is trading one set of anxieties and challenges I have for many others, and some wouldn’t even have been resolved. There would be no net increase in joy. I would be challenged by not being able to adapt. I’d still have as much or more trouble fitting in and reading people and connecting because I would be scrapping all the coping mechanisms and rote behavior I’ve learned over a lifetime. I would be scrapping my career and studies. Finally, with the things I ultimately like most in life, it doesn’t matter what gender I am (apart from how women perceive me and feel about me). So, after a while I just decided I was who I was, as I was. I'm okay enough being male to the degree I even think of it; I'm not proudly male. Being female became a pleasant dream I have sometimes.
So, I got past it. It’s part of me, but I got past it. Then I met my wife. I never shared it because it didn’t make sense before. I never thought I’d ever have to process it so completely.
I have a good life. I'm with someone I love very much who I know without doubt going to support me no matter what, and I can’t get over my luck about that as our relationship has gone on. She makes me happy. I still feel barriers with people. I still read people and circumstances wrong. I still feel out of place. I’m not transgender, but I often don’t feel all that male either. It is a shock writing this down; I have no idea how I would have actually verbalized it.
This has been the hardest thing I've ever had to write, and I need a hug.
submitted by ystavallinen to agender [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 22:31 Upbeat_Recover_456 Bisexuality is probably close to 50/50 between the sexes and only assumed to be less common in men due to homophobia / biphobia

Two popular sentiment which i've heard expressed are that 1. women are objectively more attractive than men sexually(obviously that can't be true because attraction is inherently subjective) and therefore women are more likely to be BI than men, or that 2. women's sexuality is more fluid than men's.
Another thing people use to argue either that bisexuality is more common in women or even that all women are bisexual are some studies which show that women experience arousal at FF, MM, and MF porn regardless of stated sexual orientation. e.g. het women show physical signs of arousal at lesbian porn, lesbian women show signs of physical arousal at straight/gay male porn.
But then when you actually look at those types of studies, when they're repeated on men, men show signs of arousal at porn which doesn't align with their stated sexual orientation either. This might lead ppl to say "oh well case closed every1 is bi" but that's actually a bad take.
Lesbian women often masturbate to gay male porn, in fact its a well known fact that a lot of them PREFER it to other types of porn. To some people all of these things might feel like headscratchers, they might feel conflicting but the answer to all of them is very simple, and the answer to that question lies in the answer to the question of why we watch porn and go to strip clubs in the first place:
The reason why people experience arousal when viewing porn that doesn't align with their orientation is because we are aroused by more than just physical characteristics, we also like to see sexual performances, bodies in motion. And sometimes we get aroused by bodies in motion which we may not necessarily be all that attracted to.
One or multiple people we are attracted to can put on a sexual display and we are more aroused than we otherwise would be had they just stood in place, motionless like a bunch of statues, and sometimes, 2 people we AREN'T attracted to at all sexually can do the same thing and it still leads to us being aroused.
There are some people who will identify as bisexual because they don't understand that aspect of human sexuality yet, and so they think that arousal to the sexual displays of one sex under any circumstances constitutes bisexuality and most of them are *probably* women, but even ignoring that which probably only accounts for a small percentage of people who identify with the term bisexual, women are more likely to embrace the label of bisexual in general because women don't experience biphobia or homophobia the same way men do.
Men on the other hand, many are very worried about being considered "gay" so they don't like to use the term bisexual or homosexual unless they have literally worn out all their options. And they won't admit to doing/liking things that might make them perceived as gay. Or even try things out to figure out what they like.
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2023.02.02 22:31 Shelly816 Season 2 episode 15 and 16.

I was just wanting a good laugh and so I was looking for one of those episodes that can crack you up but in episode 15 I found a moment where Whit was actually kind to someone! It was before a dance recital and Lauren had a solo dance and she was beyond nervous and didn’t think she could do it and Whit told her the reasons she chose her for the solo and just said so many kind things about her and it was an amazing pep talk, I don’t know if there was a time when Whit could really be kind to others or if this was just a once in a lifetime moment but I really can’t remember seeing her be kind to other people over the last ten seasons but I sure did like Whit for a few minutes! I got my laughs in episode 16 where Whit decides to cook for Lenny to get him to want to do more than kiss her, she goes to everyone for advice on how to make Lenny want her,Babs tells her to cook for him and also tells her how to eat a banana in a sexual way then Todd basically suggests that she gets Lenny drunk, it was hilarious! I love Todd! By the time Whit is done cooking she is a huge sweaty mess when Lenny gets there and then we get that cringe scene where she tries to look seductive eating a cherry, so funny but with a lot of cringe mixed in! I always wonder if it really does not occur to Whitless that maybe Lenny is not attracted to her because of her weight, does the idea that maybe lose a hundred pounds and more importantly take a shower! In the last season she is so sure Lenny wants her but I wonder how she can think this when he never wanted her, Buddy and Lenny say they were both black out drunk and don’t remember sleeping with her, I would be so horrified! Whit though manages to think Lenny wants her and that is one big cup of delusion right there!
submitted by Shelly816 to MyBigFatFabulousLife [link] [comments]