Shes bad mama jama

I'm feeling so low

2023.02.02 22:10 yugiohnoyoudint I'm feeling so low

I'm starting to feel so bad for myself now. I have no one to talk to so you have to suffer lol
I'm starting to have feelings for a friend but she's my bros ex. We are a group of friends but now I'm starting to like her.
I never saw her in that light, but we shared a small moment and now I have a crush on her.
I don't want to change the friendship we have, but I'm also being eaten alive by these feelings.
Why does life have to be so damn complicated.
submitted by yugiohnoyoudint to self [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 22:06 Lost-Two-8617 So....Is she playing hard to get or what... I asked her to hang, she didn't respond Now I'm ignoring her and didn't wish her happy birthday and now ignorin me?

Sup all.. So there is this junior coworker of mine who I liked as a person. I felt she was nice, friendly and always understood me. I just wanted to go out with her to dinner just to talk, not even as a date, just because she seemed nice.... But idk whenever I started asking her how was life she told me she was depressed and anxious. It turned into a whining session via text. I tried to asking her to dinner and she didn't even respond... I took that as a no, which is fine I get it. There are girls i don't like that ask me to places and I don't say yes to.
But fast forward I kinda was upset she didn't respond so I basically started snubbing her. And it was her birthday at work and there was a cake. The thing is that it was my birthday the day prior and it was a joined celebration and I didn't wish her happy birthday and she noticably seen upset or sad. I feel like other coworkers were laughing and looking at her because I didn't say happy birthday to her. I didn't want to because she made it clear she didn't want to have anything to do with me. Which is fine, I don't even like her, I don't think shes pretty, and shes Older than me, someone who I Wouldn't want to date.
When I saw her later that day, the same day as her birthday there was a work event and she was day. Pretty much she ignored me and I her. But Later we all went to this bar, I wasn't sure why , I asked someone and they said its just to hang out. But when I was there, she kept talking about 'oh its my birthday its my birthday' blah blah blah. I mean it was my birthday that day before and I could've done that but i didn't, because I am going to celebrate my birthday tomorrow with a coworker or more than 1 coworker, not really sure now.
But then the next 2 days, I was sitting at the loungue and I saw her come in and she sat from a distance from me. Which was fine, I ignored her, but don't know why she would sit at the same table as me. There was another room where she could have gone. She just sat there eating her lunch and pretty much looking visibly ignoring me. But then another coworker came, Someone Who likes me romantically and someone she i guess is on good terms with? Throughout the whole encounter, I knew this other coworker liked me so I didn't hesitate to try to talk with her and dominate the conversation because she let me. The other one who I tried to go to dinner with just stayed quiet, but when I tried talking or asking something, she responded and was looking at me. I basically gave her little to no attention, but she seems visibly upset Because Idk I am ignoring her or didn't acknowledge it was her birthday?
You know what? There are other coworkers that didn't wish me happy birthday at all, I am not visibly upset with them, but she is. Why would she be upset? I liked her as a person, wanted to get a bite to eat with her, and she snubbed me, now shes upset with the situation? I mean I don't feel bad, I feel good because I get to talk and she stays quiet.
whats weird is that, is that there was a texts said by our mutual boss on a whatsapp group saying 'i kno u all are going through anxiety and stress in your personal lives and at work.' .... i have a feeling this girl spoke to our boss about me
like when i saw her at a party she just ignored me, she didn't say hi or anything, she just snubbed me. Like she said hi to everyone. But when i complimented on her shirt, she did say thank you and smiled hard.
but she stood with her own friends and was ignoring me, and got drinks with her friends.
and now she has tried to get others to turn against me. She snubs me and complained to my boss about me lol. Apaprently she told my boss and my boss says others are saying I'm bossy. Which is wrong, most people like me, but she absolutely complained about me to my boss but i never complained about her. Why do you think this is going on? I don't like her, i didn't wish her happy birthday and i don't talk to her. I didn't evne do anything to her lol.
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2023.02.02 22:05 Embarrassed_Low4550 My (22F) mom (50F) has some serious issues and I don't know how I should react

For various reasons, my mom might be homeless in a few months. She called me saying that if my grandparents' house isn't sold by may, she'll loose the house she and my sister live in. I was rly worried and tried to find solution but she told me it "isn't a big deal yet". So I call her again and she tells she isn't too worried rn bc they might be some solutions. At this time, i'm pissed off. With her, i never know if it's really important or not bc she used to be absolutely HYSTERICAL abt the slightliest problem. So I tell her, I'm glad there's still hope, I rly wish you'll find a solution, i can send some money since you need it, but please don't call me saying that it's "the end of her" and everything if they might be solutions bc it makes me REALLY anxious.
She then tell me that it's the truth, that if she loose the house she'll unalive herself bc she can't keep all of the pets she has, and that if she wasn't worried it's bc she doesn't want to think abt it and want to wait till april to actually do stuff to find new solutions bc it's too stressfull for her.
So i tell her that she needs to be sure her backup plans are reliable bc if not it'll absolutely be too late. She said no it's too stressfull. I tell her, "then if it's rly that awful for you, you can still give [her favorite pet] to someone who can take care of her and rent a flat until the house is sold. She then answer, "no, I cannot live alone, when your sister will be gone I'll be alone and all i'll have left are the animals, if I can't keep ALL the pets (she had 11 cats, 4 dogs, a horse and a goat) i'll unalive myself".
I tell her that living with one dog and a few cats and daughters who visit her is better than leaving one daughter without a mom and the other (my stepsister who lost her dad) parentless. She then tells me she made too much sacrifices and that I don't understand.
Idk what to do. At this point of my life, i don't even know if it's that bad or not. If she's just telling big awful stuff bc she's scared or if she's rly in a situation that can't be handled. But at the same time i'm panicking. If she trully mean it, what will happen. I'll just loose my mom. I'll have to adopt my sister. And I feel trully selfish bc, while I love my sister very very much and wont let her down if we loose our mother, I feel so angry at my mom for considering this while she knows I basically went no contact with my stepsister (besides when I visit my mom) bc she has some serious behavioural issues. Yes, i may be selfish for just thinking abt how my life will be absolute shit if we loose our mom, but damn, everytime I try to help I just feel like they don't want to find solutions, or just wait for them to come up. I'm tired and worried. I don't want to loose her and I also don't want her to act like a jerk. Bc while I know she's very distressed and that it's not what she think, all I hear is "I'd rather my daughters to loose their mom than losing some of my pets". From my point of view it just sound childish. I'm sure it sound pretty dumb for other ppl. Sounds like some kind of weird manipulation thingy. But believe me, with my mom, i'm not even sure it is. She lost so much that she'd be able to do it. And i'm angry abt it. Rn, more angry than sad. It makes me feel disgusted by myself. But at the same time, i'm just tired.
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2023.02.02 22:02 Weary_Afternoon_6682 i've called the cops on my drunk mom and i'm ready to do it again

she's overall a great mom, we have a good relationship, i trust her and can share my secrets and struggles with her. but she has a drinking problem. it doesn't happen often, but when it happens it can last a long time. a few years ago she's been drinking non-stop for almost an entirety of summer, then got sober for a month, then started drinking again. i cannot stand her when she does this. she doesn't have any self awareness, she doesn't care about me, about losing her job or a large sum of money on alcohol, you can't talk any sense into her. i live with her, grandma and cousin in a 2 room apartment and i live with my mom in the same room so i have to witness this every damn day. when i was 11 we argued when she was drinking and she threatened to jump from the 9th floor (and started sticking her leg out of the window). when i was 12 she tried to steal my money to buy alcohol a year ago it was really bad, she'd been drinking for a month, she started going through my grandma's stuff to find some alcohol, it was 11 pm and she wouldn't let us sleep, she kept repeatedly asking grandma to go to the store to buy her vodka, she was cursing at us and i'd had enough. i'd already given her time to get sober and threatened to call the cops if she didn't. so that night i knew that she wouldn't stop until she got what she wanted and decided to call the cops on her. i had to go with her to the police station and stayed there till 12:30 am and had to wake up early for work the next day. i had to go to court with her (the case was settled peacefully tho, i just said that we reconciled and we went home) the worst part for me is that after she got sober she still blamed me for this and didn't acknowledge her fault, saying that she didn't disturb anyone. i felt kind of guilty because she's my mom, but i always stood by this decision and still think that i did the right thing yesterday she came back home from work from another country. it's been a day and she's already drunk to the point of not being able to walk properly. i really don't want to deal with this again. she argued with grandma today, called her all sorts of names and threatened to k#ll her if she calls the cops. i know grandma won't do it but i can and i will. at this point i'm just waiting for her to do/say something to me so that i have a reason to do so and tbh i'm ready to exaggerate any detail for them to take measures i'm really tired of dealing with this and after this incident I don't think i'll be able to forgive her, she just completely ruined her relationship with me. idk how this woman still acts surprised when i don't trust her when she buys beer (especially since it's how she started drinking heavily last time) i'm sorry if it was incoherent or if there are any mistakes, i'm just done and wanted to get this off my chest
submitted by Weary_Afternoon_6682 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 22:01 uuhhhhhhhhcool Concerns over Concerns over estranged parent possibly using adult child's identity?

Hi, this is not about me but my (informally) adopted sistefriend who came to live with my family after her abusive mom kicked her out at 17. It's been like 9-10 years now and she's applying for a new job that brought up something strange on her background check--ties to a small town across the country that she's never even visited but her mom moved to a few years ago. I guess it just tied her to an apartment address that her mom and adult sister were asked to leave from (she got that info after calling the apartment management, but they confirmed her name was not on the lease). Apparently after asking she was told that anything that tied her name out there could be the cause (loans, utilities, claims) but they didn't have any specifics. Her mom refused to give her her social security card or birth certificate when she turned 18 so she definitely still has copies of everything, but my friend has never noticed any weird marks on her credit report and her mom's MO was typically more manipulation with some government fraud (she has been unemployed AFAIK for like at least 15 years and living off benefits, child support until my friend turned 18, occasional temp work, and stealing from/manipulating her children--she moved across the country on her other daughter's dime to live with her after being diagnosed with cancer), rather than more explicitly/seriously illegal things like CC fraud.
We're just brainstorming trying to figure out what could be the cause and if she should be concerned enough to look more closely. She's called around a bit to check if her info was connected to things like EBT or on the lease for the apartment but so far hasn't gotten any solid info. Her sister is a smart and relatively normal/nice enough person, approximately 30 y/o and married with no kids, had poor experiences with the mother also but she was the clear favorite in their household and didn't see 95% of the abuse because it really went downhill after she went away to college and my friend was left alone with their mother. They went NC a few years ago because she took their mom's side and did not believe how bad it got after she left, and had no interest in repairing the relationship. There's no good way to contact her to figure out what might have happened, and even if we found a way that she would respond to, their mother was always highly skilled at hiding the more....improper things from her, as she never looked too closely or asked too many questions. Is there anything you would do to follow up that we haven't? Asking for her because she doesn't have a reddit.
submitted by uuhhhhhhhhcool to EstrangedAdultChild [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 22:00 Electronic_Future_83 Being insulted can be a blessing.

TLDR; an ex of mine ended up sending me an email after we split up detailing 26 reasons why she hated me. I never insulted her in any sort of way. The email helped me realize how immature and petty she was. It helped me shut the door for her in my mind so I can move on.
I've been struggling on and off with a situation with my ex-girlfriend. For context, we dated for 2 years and were engaged for 9 months. We ended up splitting up because:
  1. she called off the wedding without talking to me
  2. decided to move halfway across the state to start college even though she could have taken the same courses where we were living
  3. broke up with me out of the blue.
After being separated, we saw each other a few times on and off. Despite being far away. We both were seeing other people. She ended up even giving me an STI from a guy she slept with :/ (all good now though)
I was really hurt from the situation that happened. She ended up confessing that breaking up with me was a huge mistake and that she wanted me back a few times. When she said this I would either try to push it off and ignore it, or say I didn't want to. I was extremely hurt.
I eventually ended up moving to an area about 20 minutes away from her. I still had some for stuff and I contacted her to ask if she wanted it back. We ended up reconnecting and a lot of emotions came back. I considered getting back together with her.
She was apparently seeing another guy at the same time, and wasn't sure who she wanted to be with. One day she ended up confessing that I was the best that she's ever had and that she loves me and misses me and wanted to be exclusive with me. I was extremely happy. The next morning I wanted to surprise her with coffee and our puppy that we got a long time ago. When I arrived, she was sleeping in bed with another guy.
That situation hurt a lot. She obviously made her choice with the other guy and ended up telling me that she liked the other guy and wanted to be with him instead because there was no baggage there.
I would have been totally final thought if she just told me that up front. I ended up sending her an email since she blocked me on everything. The day of that occurring. I ended up saying stuff like I still have feelings and I'm sorry for the situation that occurred. No insults or anything bad, just what I wanted to say.
I then received an email from her a few days later. She accrued a list of 26 reasons why she hated me. Things like how I didn't take her back, made her go to therapy, made her depressed, and other petty insults like having a small penis. She also ended the email by telling me her new body count and how she slept with eight guys over the past 3 months.
At first that email hurt a lot. But after some reflection with my best friends and talking to others, I realized it was a blessing. It made me realize that the door for her is completely shut. It was extremely immature for her to do something of that nature. I honestly pity how she needed to do that to feel better about herself.
I still wish her the best, and I never sent a follow-up email with my nasty remarks about her. I wanted to be the bigger person.
In short, that awful email set me free.
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2023.02.02 21:54 CrazyVegetable3187 I poured my heart and soul into a screenplay that I was planning to self produce this summer and everyone I'm starting to think it sucks

I'm really bummed out. I wrote my first Screenplay, it sucked. I hired an industry professional to help make it better - he did but probably not enough based on the feedback I got. I rewrote it being conscious of the feedback I got, and thought I improved it a ton.
Someone in the area messaged me and said they wanted to volunteer to help with production because they've never done so. I said I'd be happy with the help and I sent them the screenplay - they came back and essentially said they disliked it so much that they don't want to volunteer anymore.
I had hired a sound person already and asked them to read the Screenplay before we formally signed a contract just to make sure. Even though up to that point they had shown nothing but excitement on working with me, they emailed me back and said they decided after reading the script that they no longer want to work with me.
I sent it to my DP and she, too, has shown nothing but excitement up to this point but now I fear she's gonna come back and say she disliked it so much that she doesn't want to work on the project anymore.
I have already submitted it to another industry professional for punch up but I feel like based on these recent experiences that whatever he returns no one will want to work on it.
That's the other thing I've been auditioning actors (I'm paying everyone, most of these actors have never been in a paid role before) and everyone has shown enthusiasm up to this point but I fear I'm gonna offer them jobs and then send the screenplay and then they're gonna come back and say they changed their mind.
I'm just really bummed because I've honestly put so much into all of this and it's just such a bummer hearing it's so bad that no one even wants to be affiliated with it.
submitted by CrazyVegetable3187 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 21:52 tarzanabi Meet Salep: She had all the misfortunes of a stray but has always been happy and playful. Finally she can live with us.

Meet Salep: She had all the misfortunes of a stray but has always been happy and playful. Finally she can live with us.
She was a stray cat who befriended me around my workplace. So unfortunate, yet so lovely and positive. She has a scar around her mouth (no idea how) that makes her spill back half of what she drinks back. She doesn't care. She lost her mama when she was 6 months old, got pregnant and lost all her kittens at 1, lost all her teeth to fungus and grew a head-size inflammation at 18 months. We had her operated and spayed, and I took her home. Our cat didn't want her and kept beating her for 4 months straight. Salep, who had been living among 18 dogs back at my workplace (and was the alpha btw) respected the domestic cat and did not fight back. Out of things to try to make them get along, and having found no other homes, we took her back to workplace. She was still, as always, joyous and loving. She kept bringing us "gifts" from trees and warehouses. A month later, she got hit by a car and was paralyzed from the neck down, as I was searching for a capable vet in my country. Found one and she was operated on again, and after a couple weeks she regained most of her body back, just the front right paw stayed numb. Again, we kept searching for a home for her. Found one, turned out the people where allergic. Found another, they moved out of the country after 3 years. But at that while, we had to send our in-home cat to my in-laws. So, now she's finally with us! She's 11 now. She can still run, climb, and she plays with our 5 year old all day long. Through all those years I never lost touch with her, and in every rough patch, against every dark thought, I would say "There's a Salep in this world. All will be well."
Hope you have a Salep in your life.
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2023.02.02 21:50 DJT4Prison [SPOILER] I don't feel bad for Ruth

The only reason she even knows the Byrds is because she stole millions of dollars from their motel room, where she worked. Even looking in their luggage makes her a bad person, much less actually taking it. She had no idea why they had that much money and didn't care about the consequences to the people she stole it from (they likely would have been murdered if Marty didn't get it back). When Marty came and confronted them, she wanted to kill him and keep the money. The only reason that didn't happen is because the others chickened out after finding out who Marty works for. So she knows exactly what she's trying to get into when she basically makes him give her a job.
Anyway, she does plenty of morally repugnant shit (like kill her uncles). But still she's pretty competent and Marty has no one else he can trust so he eventually makes her the manager of the casino he used to wash drug money. There is no indication that any other employee even knew about it. Marty knew that anyone else could be an undercover FBI agent.
She was working for a drug cartel but she knew that, and was rewarded with a clean job that she could never have landed otherwise. Manager of a casino? At her age and with her criminal record?
I guess I don't blame her for leaving Marty, even though she started it with Frank Jr. Did she really expect no repercussions for kicking the son of a mob boss in the balls and throwing him off the casino boat into the water? And no shit Marty cares more about Charlotte than her, Charlotte is his minor daughter.
Flash forward to her reaction Wyatt's death. She decided that getting revenge was worth risking her life, which I totally get. She also probably felt guilty because no way would Wyatt have been there with Darlene if she hadn't murdered his father and confessed it to him.
Anyway he knew who she killed and did in front of at least two people she had no reason to trust (the pharma CEO and her bodyguard). Guess what, one of them cracked, which I don't even blame her for. I would save my own skin over someone I barely if at all know (I can't remember if pharma CEO met Ruth before) and who burst into my office and murdered a drug lord right in front of me. And Marty and Wendy, who only let her be killed because they had no other choice. They tried to stop her from killing what's his name, or even knowing who he was in the first place.
Anyway, she made her choices, she doesn't have anyone to blame for them but herself. And she wasn't even a good person.
submitted by DJT4Prison to Ozark [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 21:49 Conscious_Welder_678 LONG: Please Read, Desperate for help on a tricky housing situation.

My mother moved into a house with her divorced sister in 2002. They bought a house with the help from my grandpa and grandma, as my mom put around 25% of the down payment, with my grandparents covering the rest and my mom's sister not having much to put down. My grandpa never payed rent or PG&E as the mortgage was split in half between my mom and her sister, however the entire house was listed under his name. Things got bad like they usually do with dual family houses and my mom's sister left in 2015 to buy a new house that she can now afford through her military benefits and personal savings. My mom was left with a house that she simply couldn't afford (very low paying job), so instead of selling, my grandpa decided to step in and help with the mortgage. For the first 3 years, grandpa picked up my mom's sister's payment and likely also picked up the PG& E Bill. At this point my mom was paying around $400-$600 dollars a month to my grandpa, who was effectively taking care of the $1,500 mortgage and PG & E bill all under his name. in 2018, my mom stopped paying all together as she got down in debt, and in 2019, my grandma got Dementia. Now, my mom was helping at my grandparents house literally every night for 3 years with grandma and her house was being paid for by grandpa. In her eyes she saw this as a fair trade as she makes a dirt poor salary here in California and was helping in a house that her other family members(sisters) never did, mainly due to location and work schedule. Well, last August grandpa suddenly got cancer and died. The month that he got cancer, my mom's sister who was practically out of the family dynamic for years popped up and basically moves into my grandparent's house to take care of her dying father and demented mother. My mom was pushed out of the loop by her sister and another sister from San Diego with the handling of the money, will, and the future of Grandma as well as their disabled cerebral palsy adult sister who lived with the grandparents. My mom's sisters found out she hadn't been paying the bills for years and they came hard at her, called her a parasite, and basically tried everything they could do to not let my mother take possession of the house when grandpa dies, which wasn't even something that was being discussed. My grandpa didn't seem to interested in setting up a will and even thought they met with a lawyer about making a will, he died before that just a week later after starting the process. It was said that the house would be included in grandpa's life trust, and that the money from the house would be mixed with his personal savings and retirement money, dividing into fourths(4 daughters). The problem with that is since he's died, demented grandma has inherited all of his money, money not touchable until she dies.
What we were left with after grandpas death, is a whole 2 story, 4 bedroom house to ourselves, as my mom has been allowed to stay there to help take care of Grandma's dementia. My moms sisters are going behind her back hiring lawyers and setting up a trust that they got grandma to sign with grandpas money. This sounds fair, but now my mom is stuck in a house that she thinks she will never get a share of, as it will be thrown into the pool of money in the trust, perhaps saving enough to put our grandma in a retirement home as she's still quite early in her dementia. Of course if all of grandpa's trust money goes to the retirement home, my mom will be homeless and won't be able to live off of her retirement. She is also 63 years old with diabetes and high blood pressure, working from 9-5 and taking care of my grandma from 6pm-7:30am. She is literally working 24 hours a day in a sense as she has no time to even live with me. I live alone in the house that is being paid for by the money in grandpas trust, so I guess Grandma is now the homeowner. My mom is tied to this house sort of like a slave is tied to a plantation. She can't leave because she's afraid she won't get a share of the house as her sisters are in charge of the financial situation of grandma and the trust, but if she stays, she has no choice but to work all day and night just to not be homeless. She is miserable as my sister from San Diego has let her 21 year old son still live with his grandma despite the hectic situation, causing incredible frustration and constantly teasing my already stressed mom who is over the top. What rights do we have? My mom have lived here for over 20 years, and paid her share for the first 16 years. If we do sell, how do we get the money upfront as it is under grandma's name. Is there a way to sign a contract with my mom's sisters and grandma to guarantee the money from the house goes to the two sisters.(my mom has come to an unofficial spoken agreement with the sisters that the house should be divided 50/50 between my mom and the sister she bought the house with) Still, were worried were going to get screwed and not get anything from the house. Also, the house is falling apart and needs to be sold soon anyways before we have to start repairing it from damage. Does my mom have rights over my grandma who is now the legal houseowner. My mom's sisters have even normalized the house me and my mom have lived in for over 20 years as just "Grandma's house", even though she's never spent a night sleeping there. This just seems so wrong. Please help me, WHAT RIGHTS DOES MY MOM HAVE? WHAT CAN SHE DO IN THIS SITUATION LEGALLY? She wants to sell the house and get an apartment nearby to continue helping with her mom. She would still need to work but a lot less and she would have money from the house to live off of. Please help!
submitted by Conscious_Welder_678 to legaladvice [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 21:49 AstronautFickle4118 From my due date group, oy vey 🤦🏼‍♀️

From my due date group, oy vey 🤦🏼‍♀️ submitted by AstronautFickle4118 to ShitMomGroupsSay [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 21:49 Environmental-Sky765 I made out with my friend and i regret it

Me and my friend were just having fun in class making kissing faces at eachother, and then suddenly we both did it at the same time and our lips met. Afterwards, we did it again, twice. When school ended she REALLY wanted to come over to my house, so i agreed. Then she kept showing me "how to kiss" yt videos and saying we should follow whatever they did. She said she wanted to record but i said no and kissed her once, we then tried to go on omegle but we didnt find any fun people so she once again brought up that we should kiss. I told her that we can just practice and it wont be anything more to it than that, which she agreed to. We watched the video and gave eachother small little pecks (being nervous and all) then she said again that she wanted to record. I managed to stall atleast 15 minutes before she started recording anyways. We were watching the exact same yt video the entire time, and it started talking about how to make out. She said "oh wow haha no way we're gonna do that..." and then like another 15 minutes later we were making out and she was still recording (making up to 4 videos) i told her i was just imagining her as my crush and she said that she would do the same with her crush from a show. After a while we stopped bc my parents came home and I begged her to delete the videos and she said no. A while after she left she snapped me and called me saying to open it. I did and holy fuck from her phone she had recorded our making out session from her pc. Mid way through watching the video she deleted them and then she sent one last picture of us two kissing and saying that that was the only one she was gonna keep (i told her not to and idk if she still has it) she said that we were never gonna do it again and that it was just random and stuff. Honestly i wasnt too bothered because this exact shit has happened before, but then again. In that video she sent me, i (once or twice) tried to kiss her and she had stopped me (to look at the camera) i am SUPER EMBERASSED about that now and i wanna cry. She is also the type of person to tell other ppl and she has a video of me being left hanging. When she snapped me the video i saved it so if she ever decides to do anything w it i can just screenshot a part of the video where she was leading aggressively but im still pretty emberassed. She sent me a text saying "do you regret it as much as i do?" And i told her that "it was just a kiss we already agreed to that" and she said "yea yea" i asked "r u alr? Cuz u seem upset ab it" and she said "nono im good" then i said "why do you regret it so much?" And she said "it was just weird but its alr" i asked her alot of times if i should/could go and everything, i told her she could lead but she said that she didnt know how and was too shy so i was just leading until she was comfortable. I feel rlly bad now and im genuienly rlly upset bc suddenly it feels like shes gonna tell people or nothing will be the same.
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2023.02.02 21:42 Puzzleheaded_Tree290 A vent about how people treat my friend. I'm not looking for advice but if anyone does have any, it would be appreciated.

Every evening I spend an hour or so talking to one of my best friends, who happens to be trans. I was one of the first people she "came out" to here, she transitioned as a teenager but kept it a secret when she moved away from home.
Anyway, she's lost a few friends since coming out, people have been quite mean to her and she's been getting stressed. We were talking recently, she said she thinks there's too much of an emphasis on the difference between sex and gender and while they are different, many people can pretend to accept her as a woman while still seeing her as "male" even though after HRT, her body is actually much closer to a cis woman's. She doesn't like the word gender identity for the same reason, she feels that if people see her being a woman as just an identity, it just opens the door to attack helicopter jokes and bad faith arguments. She hates being called a "biological man."
Anyway, not too long ago someone told her that if her body is ever examined by archaeologists, they'll find a male skeleton. She doesn't want to be cremated but that's been on her mind a lot. She was told that if she was buried in a feminine way, with woman's clothes, despite the skeleton, they'd know her identity was different which would confirm she was trans. She didn't find comfort in that, because to her it feels like after the rest of her body is gone, the one thing left will be a "male" skeleton and that's what people are gonna see.
This isn't really asking for advice or how to debunk any arguments. It's more of a vent than anything about the alt right, and people like Ben Shapiro who make people like her insecure. She was always there for me during a tough time in my life and I want to do the same for her. I'm not trans, so I don't fully understand what things are like for her, but I want to help her. I've told her that first of all, archaeologists make mistakes, all the time. And that since she transitioned before puberty she'd probably have a more feminised bone structure anyway. But I guess once you get the fear of something in your head it's hard to stop thinking about it. Anyway, I hope she's alright, and fuck anyone on the alt right spreading hatred against people just for existing.
submitted by Puzzleheaded_Tree290 to MtF [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 21:42 Think_Interaction568 Hints?

Okay so tldr, I'm horribly bad at seeing hints. I either just think okay she's just being friendly or nah, this certainly isn't for me. 29 m. I guess I'm just stupid but this girl I liked for a while apparently was dropping hints on me like crazy according to her by simply asking how my day was. Thoughts?
submitted by Think_Interaction568 to dating [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 21:41 Puzzleheaded_Tree290 A vent about how people treat my friend. I'm not looking for advice but if anyone does have any, I'd appreciate it.

Every evening I spend an hour or so talking to one of my best friends, who happens to be trans. I was one of the first people she "came out" to here, she transitioned as a teenager but kept it a secret when she moved away from home.
Anyway, she's lost a few friends since coming out, people have been quite mean to her and she's been getting stressed. We were talking recently, she said she thinks there's too much of an emphasis on the difference between sex and gender and while they are different, many people can pretend to accept her as a woman while still seeing her as "male" even though after HRT, her body is actually much closer to a cis woman's. She doesn't like the word gender identity for the same reason, she feels that if people see her being a woman as just an identity, it just opens the door to attack helicopter jokes and bad faith arguments. She hates being called a "biological man."
Anyway, not too long ago someone told her that if her body is ever examined by archaeologists, they'll find a male skeleton. She doesn't want to be cremated but that's been on her mind a lot. She was told that if she was buried in a feminine way, with woman's clothes, despite the skeleton, they'd know her identity was different which would confirm she was trans. She didn't find comfort in that, because to her it feels like after the rest of her body is gone, the one thing left will be a "male" skeleton and that's what people are gonna see.
This isn't really asking for advice or how to debunk any arguments. It's more of a vent than anything about the alt right, and people like Ben Shapiro who make people like her insecure. She was always there for me during a tough time in my life and I want to do the same for her. I'm not trans, so I don't fully understand what things are like for her, but I want to help her. I've told her that first of all, archaeologists make mistakes, all the time. And that since she transitioned before puberty she'd probably have a more feminised bone structure anyway. But I guess once you get the fear of something in your head it's hard to stop thinking about it. Anyway, I hope she's alright, and fuck anyone on the alt right spreading hatred against people just for existing.
submitted by Puzzleheaded_Tree290 to ainbow [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 21:41 MasterMojo5498 Zhane & Vitani Chapter 4: Rachel's Wrath

It was Friday and Vitani couldn't wait for the school day to end so she, Ruby and their new friend Kimiko could head to the mall and find outfits for the fall formal.
"Girls we are just three weeks away from the dance", Vitani said excitedly.
"I know Vee, but I don't know what to wear. What about you Kimiko?", asked Ruby.
"Oh, that's an easy one, my qipao".
"What's that?", Vitani asked.
"It's a Chinese dress my grandma is seamstress, so she is making me one".
"Cool, I can't wait to see it".
"Oh, and thanks again to both of for backing me up against Rachel and Brianna."
Kimiko bowed in respect and gratitude.
"No problem, they're just a bunch of bullies", said Vitani.
"I couldn't stop laughing when Vitani pushed Rachel into the desk. The look on her face was priceless!", Ruby squealed cheerfully.
"I don't think we'll deal with them anytime soon", said Vitani.
The final bell rang to go home, and the three girls raced through the hallways.
"Zhane and his friends are having Pokémon tournament at our house, so we don't have to worry him coming to the mall with us", said Vitani.
"Good last thing we need is a boy complaining about us shopping", said Ruby.
"We should at least give him a chance", Kimiko protested.
"Kimiko, we have a lot to discuss with you".
Before the girls reached their bikes Vitani stopped and her eyes stretch.
"Oh no! I forgot to get my bookbag. I'll be right back."
"Hustle, Forever 21 is having their weekend sale", Ruby shouted.
Vitani ran to her locker and grabbed her bookbag. As she raced down the hallway, a foot suddenly flashed in front her, and Vitani fell on her wrist.
"Hehehe. No running in the halls Vitani".
Vitani looked up and saw Rachel laughing at her misfortune.
"Rachel, you tripped me!", Vitani yelled.
She struggled to hold back tears due to her throbbing wrist and embarrassment.
"Did you really think I was gonna let get away with pushing me?", Rachel asked
Vitani eyes were filled with tears of anger as she got up.
"Rachel, I'm gonna--".
"What? Tell on me? Go ahead I dare you. It's not like I can stop you or anything. But everyone will know you as snitch if you do", Rachel said mockingly.
Vitani glared at the mean girl.
"You're gonna regret this", Vitani said coldly.
"I have no regrets", said Rachel.
Rachel walked off laughing heavily at her misdeed while Vitani angrily headed outside.
"Jeez, what took you so long", asked Ruby.
"And why are you holding your wrist", asked Kimiko.
Vitani did her best to straighten her face, but her friends could tell something was wrong.
"What happened in there, Vee?", Kimiko asked.
"Nothing", Vitani replied.
"No, don't nothing us. Something went down in the hallway. Let's hear it", Ruby insisted.
Vitani let out big sigh.
"Fine. I was running back to you girls after I got my bookbag and Rachel came from a corner and tripped me".
"She tripped you", Kimiko shouted.
"Yeah, and I hurt my wrist, but it's not broken though."
"Are you sure you're okay Vitani", Ruby asked.
"I'm fine, Rachel is gonna get what's coming to her very soon. Now let's go."
The three got on their bikes and made their way to the mall.
While looking around in Forever 21, Ruby and Kimiko attempted to get Vitani to open up about being tripped by Rachel.
"Vee, you can't let Rachel get away with tripping you", said Ruby.
"She knows you're not afraid to get rough, so she's just trying get a reaction out of you", said Kimiko.
"Ugh, would both of you stop. My mom always taught me not to get riled up because of fools. and only take action when it's absolutely necessary".
"Yeah? Well, my mom always taught me to not suffer fools gladly", Ruby said scornfully.
"Rachel had no business tripping you or spitting in my face for that matter. You can't let her get away with that", said Kimiko.
"Don't get the wrong idea girls. Rachel is not going to get away with tripping me, but I'm not going to snitch either because that's the last thing I want to be known for", said Vitani. You know this isn't how I pictured 7th grade year to turn out."
"Hey Vitani!"
Vitani turned away to see Zhane and his buddies Michael and Jose approach them.
"What are you doing here Zhane", asked Vitani. I thought you three were going to have your Pokemon tournament at home.
"We had stopped at the mall to get something eat first". What's with you sis? You seem irritated.
"It's nothing".
"Rachel Owens tripped her in the hallway", said Ruby.
"Ruby!", yelled Vitani.
"Say what!", yelled Zhane.
"Ooh Rachel Owens? She's hardcore; you never want to get on her bad side", said Michael.
"Yeah, but don't trip anyone and get off scott free", said Jose.
"Not to mention Vitani hurt her wrist when she fell", Kimiko replied.
"No, no, no. It doesn't matter if Rachel is hardcore. I know what mom always told us, but you gotta get her back Vitani", said Zhane.
"Enough already! What is this an intervention? Karma is gonna hit Rachel, and Zhane I appreciate the concern, but you worry about your own problems alright. Now move it we have shopping to do."
"Well excuse me for caring", Zhane said bitterly. Come on boys we gotta tournament to do.
Zhane and his friends walked off as Ruby and Kimiko confusingly stared at Vitani's harshness towards her brother.
"Zhane was only trying to help you know", said Kimiko.
"Yeah, you didn't have to cut him down like that Vitani", said Ruby.
"Ugh, I know but I'm just not in a pleasant mood right now, and I want take my mind off of being tripped. So, let's find something for the dance okay."
Little did the girls know that Rachel and her friends walked into Forever 21 noticed Zhane and company leaving the store.
"Hey Rach, wasn't that Vitani's brother," asked Brianna.
"Yeah, boys don't shop at Forever 21. The only reason he would be here is if his sister was here", said Rachel.
Rachel's second friend Kelly noticed Vitani looking around the dresses.
"There she is", said Kelly.
"Ooh this too perfect. I almost feel bad about doing this to Vitani", said Rachel.
"What are you going to do", asked Brianna.
Kelly took a perfume bottle off a rack and showed it to Brianna and Kelly.
"Vee is going to get a special 5 Finger discount."
"Don't you think that's a little harsh? No girl should ever be banned from Forever 21", said Kelly.
"Vitani brought this on herself Kelly".
Rachel quietly walked over to Vitani, who was too busy browsing through clothes to notice her, and quietly snuck the perfume in her jacket pocket as walked backed to the other end of the store.
"Alright girls get ready to enjoy the show in a couple minutes", said Rachel.
Meanwhile Vitani purchased a lush light green dress while Ruby bought a sky-blue version of the dress.
"We are gonna look so fly at the dance", said Vitani.
"Oh, you know it and I can't wait to see your qipao, Kimiko", replied Ruby
"Yes, there's absolutely nothing that can ruin this", Kimiko shrilled.
"Hey, let's get something to eat", said Vitani.
The three girls made their way out of the store with Rachel's group anxiously watching. When they walked pass the sensors the store alarm went off.
"Whoa! What's happening", Vitani yelled.
The store manager approached the girls with a huge frown on her face.
"Alright which one of you is stealing from my store", she said angrily.
"None of us. We brought our items. See the receipts."
The mall security guard walked in with his wand.
"Alright ladies I'm just gonna do a quick a scan if the wand doesn't beep, you're free to go."
The security guard scanned Kimiko and Ruby and the wand stayed silent. As soon as he scanned Vitani the wand beeped so loud everyone in the store could hear it.
The store manager pulled the perfume bottle out of Vitani's jacket and glared at her.
"You brought everything huh", she asked.
Vitani heart and mouth dropped with Kimiko and Ruby staring in shocked.
"Ma'am, I swear I didn't steal it. I didn't even know it was in my pocket someone is trying to frame me", Vitani pleaded.
"Lame excuses. No one steals from my store. Enjoy that dress because it's the last thing you'll get from here."
Vitani began to cry.
"Please I promise I didn't steal it. I'm too scared to do anything like that!"
"Come with me miss", said the security guard.
"Don't worry Vee, we know you didn't steal that perfume", said Ruby.
"Just hang tight, we'll go find Zhane", yelled Kimiko.
Rachel and her friends laughed at the top of their lungs as they watched Vitani being escorted out of the store.
"I don't think we'll be seeing Vitani in Forever 21 anymore", Rachel said arrogantly.
As she was being taken away by security, Vitani sobbed and thought to herself.
"This day just went from bad to worst. Mom is gonna blow a fuse."
submitted by MasterMojo5498 to FictionWriting [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 21:37 sadgril1221 My mom never admits when she's wrong and it's killing me.

My mom is stubborn. I've known that all my life because of that, I also know that parts of her will never change and I've just kind of accepted it. But something I've noticed recently that really frustrates me is her inability to admit when she's wrong. It'll be the smallest things like what month we went on a trip or something I told her the other day. Even when I bring her evidence or proof that goes against what she says, she just never says anything. She just moves on as if it doesn't matter anymore. And if I press her on it, she turns the blame on me and makes me the bad person for even bringing it up. I'm not even asking for an apology, I just want some acknowledgment that she wasn't right in that situation. But to her, she'll never recognize even the possibility that she could be wrong. Yes, maybe I could just ignore it and move on because ultimately, these little arguments are just that- little. They're probably not worth fighting about but knowing that makes me more upset. Is it so hard to just admit fault, especially when it makes me this upset?? If you can't even admit these little things, how am I supposed to feel when it comes it a bigger issue?? This is actually killing me and I just can't get over it. I don't know, maybe I'm the crazy one for feeling this way
submitted by sadgril1221 to toxicparents [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 21:31 meganisaghost I need advice from you guys.

Hi, I used to SH. But for me, it's always been about my emotional pain. I did not enjoy the act itself unless I was feeling 100 level emotion.
Now my fiancee is different. She SH more than anyone I've ever seen. She says it's not necessarily because of her emotions, but because she enjoys it. She enjoys the scars, the blood, the pain. It's like a hobby for her.
I'm struggling with this because I do get how it can be comforting and even enjoyable. But she is extreme, multiple times a week I get home from work and I have to take care of her bc she's cut so deep it won't stop bleeding.
She knows it hurts me, and it's hard for me, and that's the only reason she doesn't do it every single day.
But I feel conflicted. I don't want her to hurt herself, not even for my sake, but because I love her and I'm scared for her. I'm scared she's gonna bleed out one day while I'm gone. I'm scared she's gonna get an infection. She's very careful but it's still possible.
At the same time, she enjoys it. She likes having as many scars as possible. And I don't want to tell her to stop because at the end of the day, it's her body and should be her choice.
My question is, what should I do? I know this sub has people who probably feel the she way she does.
TLDR: My fiancee enjoys cutting, but I'm scared she will get hurt really bad, and I'm wondering if anyone has advice.
submitted by meganisaghost to MadeOfStyrofoam [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 21:29 jennietheworld No hope in life

I’m 15 and live in a pretty much unhealthy household and haven't been mentally okay for years. Lately I have been contemplating s*icide because of how bad it's been. I've been diagnosed with depression for more than 3 years and am a former self harmer, I stopped many months ago but my depression hasn’t died down a bit. I couldn't focus on school at all as a result and just quit completely last year but I would really, really love to start going again as I've finally realised how messed up it is & just how downright bad it feels to be a kid that doesn't even attend school. But my parents don’t care anymore, they got me a tutor a few months ago after I begged & begged but that ended up not working out. Instead, if my parents have ever showed any concern for how I'm missing out on school it's through fights/"talks" with my mom where she belittles and beats me talking about how I’m an illiterate (insert hurtful derogatory term in my native language) and talks very degradingly about how I'm wasting my life and telling me to start attending again and I tell her that I can't do that on my own, she says she'll talk to dad about it but never, ever does. All she does is complain about my situation. My dad has stopped caring about everything but himself honestly. The best way to put it is that he's indifferent towards anything that doesn’t concern him. He just fulfills my requests of food and other purchases. As if i’m just someone he allows to live inside his house and at best making sure I dont die. Often times my mom ridicules me for asking for those needs too. Saying that I’m eating away half of my dad's salary for my food. My mom is the most mentally ill person in our family, she's very temperamental and abusive. She has schizophrenia and has not been receiving any sort of treatment for it because 1) she doesn’t care to get better 2) nor does my dad because well... He just doesn't care. As a result she is often flipping out, most of the time her fits happen when she'd see something on social media that she claims is apparently targeted at her to defame and harass her. It causes a lot of disturbance for me and often times she blames how I used to self harm and people found out about it and are making fun of her for it. instead of being congratulated for not cutting I just get belittled and vilified by my mom for how I used to do it once. Not ever letting me forget about those times. The only reason I havent relapsed is because I just don't find it as a plausible means of catharsis anymore. I’m just miserable and not coping with the fact in any way. I've tried to tell my dad to get me therapy or get me back in to school COUNTLESS times but the most he ever says is "I’ll look into it" and moves on. He blames it on him being forgetful but then how come he always remembers other things that he probably cares about way more? Even more than my well-being. Lying. Neglect. Ignorance. Fights. Hate. Sorrow. Loneliness. Lovelessness. Crying. That is all that my life is full of. Nothing else. There's no progress is our home. No one gives me love nor does anyone love each other. I have absolutely 0 friends or relatives, I do not talk to anybody, haven't even tried it for a long time. I’m convinced no one cares for me and just don’t want me to die because losing a whole family member would be too much of a hassle. People online often say "Reach out to a friend or a relative!" But I literally cannot stress enough how much I don't have a friend or relative in the slightest, the only people that can help me are my family but my family does not care. There's nothing I can do by myself, I need someone else's help but there is absolutely no "someone else". I am utterly and wholely alone. As dumb and edgy as it sounds, I think I should just commit and hope for a better next life. One time, this astrologer woman online told me that my natal chart is full of bad combos. I took that as a sign. I'm sure this life I have is an unfortunate, unnecessary and unmerited reality that should be put an end to. No helping it.
submitted by jennietheworld to mentalhealth [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 21:26 Sleepy_littleOwl Toxic Mother

A lot of stuff over the years has lead to this, but ever since roughly July 2021 I've grown to resent my mother. She's had a lot of mental health issues so I've tried to ignore a lot of it, but she's turning into just a really horrible person. From August last year she's been under a lot of stress with family issues and it's made things even worse. She's impossible to be around and I've started spending the whole day in my bedroom to preserve my mental wellbeing. Lately she's been chronically online, watching negative youtube videos about politics or just bad stuff going on in the world, and (sorry to be that person) it's creating the worst vibes in the house. It's almost like there's a trail of negativity following her. Running away or moving out isn't an option either at the moment so I'm stuck with it. It's awful. Plus her mood changes like a switch, one minute she's alright then the next she's complaining or criticising every little thing and it's exhausting. Basically it's like she's subconsciously teaching me that the world's a horrible place and so are the people. I try so hard to see the positive side of things because being full of hate all the time is an awful feeling. What makes things worse is that in early 2021 I was always happy, woke up happy, slept well, etc and yet she saw an issue with it as if it was abnormal...we spoke and she somehow came to the conclusion that I was depressed and that suddenly made all the happiness I had fall apart as id suffered with it 2 years prior and it was terrible and i was terrified of relapsing and she made me believe i had... out of pure shock and outrage i said to her face that I hate her and I wished I had a different mother (it seems harsh but there's a longer story of my childhood that makes it somewhat justified) and welp here we are...whenever she's in a bad mood created by other family members it always comes right back to me on who she takes it out on. And whenever I try to talk to her maturely about it she goes all stroppy and blows up at me saying she's only human...but so am I? I can't get her to realise what she's doing and for a while I've wanted to write her a note (only form of communication that won't make her yell at me) and the note would tell her that I'm never gonna see her again and she wont hear from me after i get the chance to move out. I'm gonna be 19 in a few months but I'm just so unsure of what to do in this situation. I know I wrote a lot so I apologise for that. But if you read all of this, thank you very much, i appreciate it😅
Tldr: mother is toxic and its getting worse, moving out isn't an option, please help lol
submitted by Sleepy_littleOwl to offmychest [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 21:23 Trisky107 I am finally on board that Will/Alice being Polin's mentors train

I was really having the hardest time wrapping my brain around how Will/Alice could feature in the Polin story. Like logically it made some sort of sense but there was always this missing element that I couldn't quite nail down in my head. Thankfully /uAsgardianLeviOsa lets me ramble off my theories until I finally coalesce around the thing that makes sense.
And it finally clicked in my head today! I think all the talk about who would Colin go to in order to ask about love has left me mostly mystified for two reasons. 1) His options are pretty shitty. Violet has bad advice, Kate/Anthony have barely pulled their asses out of their heads long enough to even admit they love each other much less be able to tell anyone else what they're feeling and none of his other siblings have been in love (and Daphne's advice in the book was dumb and would be even less helpful on screen. 2) I just don't understand why Colin would be asking anyone "how do you know if it's love" at this point, after he's already believed himself to be in love once before. Because if he's feeling what he felt for Marina but, like, 100x more intense and he doesn't understand what that means then he might need more help than anyone could possibly give him.
So my basic feeling about any discussion Colin would have about being in love is not how do I know it's love, but more like I know I feel something and I know I've mucked it all up with this plan and I'm not sure Penelope would even believe I feel something for her at this point. So it's less a revelation that he's in love and more a "how do I undo this mess I've created" kind of thing.
There's also the LW of it all. At some point he's going to find out about that and it's going to cloud his perception and he'll probably struggle with it on some level, but also struggle because he clearly has feelings.
Which is when Will and his relationship with Alice started making sense to me, in terms of what he'd talk to Will about. Because Colin knows Will as an upstanding gentleman. Colin doesn't know Will as having done anything morally objectionable. But what if Will has a come to Jesus talk with him that even the most upstanding people make decisions others would find morally questionable and that lead to ruining people's lives for deeply personal reasons. That they're still good people but they just make bad decisions and maybe, just maybe Penelope made some bad choices but you have to understand them in their totality.
Because Will has made some decisions that led to literal life and death consequences but that doesn't make him a bad person. He doesn't have to tell Colin what his decision was but just a trust me bro and if you knew what I knew, you'd know I kind of played a part in Penelope being in the financial situation she's in.
Redemption for Will, understanding for Colin and Colin gets to see a married couple who are a team in life and in business and he can start to piece together how to get past the LW hump and fit in her life and make her believe he'd stand by her, shitty decisions and all. And Alice can hit him over the head with the "that girl love you when you were lost and insecure" just like Alice loved Will before he made anything of himself and would love him even if he didn't.
And now it all makes sense to me.
(And no Asgardian there will be no kidnappers.)
submitted by Trisky107 to PolinBridgerton [link] [comments]


2023.02.02 21:23 Ancient_Educator_76 "You need to grade my test ACCURATELY! It's for a SCHOLARSHIP!!" - Oh is it, now? Let the pettiness ensue.

Good morning, all!
As much as I'd like to start this off by saying things like "Let me tell you a little bit about me", or "I'm so petty I performed at the Super Bowl Halftime Show in 2008" and then go into a diatribe about just how petty I could be, this is far from the truth. Perhaps in some alternate petti-verse where over a dozen college students were playing the part of (and absolutely nailing) whiny middle school students complaining about course requirements... or if they happened to begin to repeatedly harass me by way of being on ingrate-demo-mode, or spinning the wheel-of-you-suck-at-teaching to come up with yet another complainsult wrapped in a thinly veiled "question" about me and how I run my course....perhaps then I'd let nature take it's "course" and let my pettiness bloom, like a flower transplanted from an artificial habitat to a campus-bordering field, in the form of Malicious Compliance.
And wouldn't you know it? Somehow. Some way. Petty finds a way.

That being said, I really try to be a positive, supportive, caring, empathetic, far-from-sardonic college instructor. My clientele, as referenced above, are mostly college-age students who enrolling in what is basically a Pre-Algebra course my community college likes to call "College Math". I have the occasional young whiz kid who enrolls in my course to be super advanced. But for the most part, young adults in their 20s and 30s are who I teach, and Solving Systems of Equations by Substitution is currently what I teach them.
I have many students who struggle and require additional tutoring, and I'm always happy to oblige. There is this one student who I wish would show up to our makeshift tutoring group but never does.... let's call her "Mara".
Mara acts like she's the zhit. She seriously acts like we're back in high school, interrupt my demonstrations (miraculously, because I literally direct instruct for 3-5 minutes before I popcorn around the room and treat it like a very large standard tutoring session). "Mr. OP, my Dad says this isn't the way to solve it...", "Mr. OP, why don't you teach at ASU? (our partnering major university we transfer students to) What did you do wrong that youre teaching at this place?", the list goes on and on. For brevity's sake (ha) I'll make sure this story doesn't.
We have an exam that about half the class got a 90 or better on, followed by most of the rest getting B's, C's etc. I know that this community college, despite it's cheap cost, still has many students on full scholarship for one thing or another, whether it be sports, personal hardships, activities, etc. That being said, if I notice a student tanked the test I may just grade the thing on a curve to allow them to get the most points possible. This is what I chose to do for Mara, and she wound up with an 18/25 on her exam. I typed in the score, took a glance at her paper afterward and realized she actually missed yet another question, a major one, that would have brought her grade super super low. I decided to look the other way. Part laziness, part... being nice. Let's not say how much each part's worth, but they ain't equal.
So it's time to return the tests that I already had graded in the system when Mara starts up with her questions again. They are literally too tiresome to include. I will say her final piece, however: "Mr. OP, I noticed that you gave me an 18/25 on my last test, could I take a look at the test and see what I got wrong? I definitely didn't miss that much."
I tried to use inflection to let her know that she should probably just be happy with the 18, by saying "Yeahhhhh I thiiiiink I'd be happy with the 18 there kiddo"
Then she suddenly dropped a petty pebble at the top of a snowy hill...
She continues.... this time standing, walking toward me, and pointing her Cruella DeVille finger at me, saying
"NO! You can't just put WHATEVER you want for my grade, 18 out of 25 is not even possible!! I need to keep my GPA high because of all my scholarships!! You need to grade my test ACCURATELY!"
Enter PettyLicious Compliance.
I knew good and well that she did NOT deserve, by any stretch of the imagination, anywhere NEAR the 72% that 18/25 is. She didn't master 72% of the content. She didn't get 72% of the questions correct. I'll be honest and say that when I grade dozens of exams I tend to look at the most important questions on each test and ensure these are 100 percent accurate. I always pepper in some spiraling thinky-type questions, you know, stuff with rigor, but I don't grade against it. If I ever make an error in grading, it 150% of the time favors the student.
I took her particular course's papers out of my Blah-tache case, file through the exams and find her particular one, and look at it... quizzically... then I look back at here while my head is still positioned toward the paper. I'm trying so hard to give her an out...she wouldn't budge...
So I say "You know what? You're right... I did make an error... oh, crud, more than one.... "
I then behind my desk where the students couldn't see what I was lookng at I graded her paper right then and there. By this time I had memorized the answers to the exam without even needing to pull out the key, but I did so I made sure she knew I was grading it thoroughly... you know, ACCURATELY.
She wound up with a 14/25. I handed it back to her right then and there, and let her know that I had changed the grade accordingly in her gradebook. That 14 she got (one of the solutions to the system she just managed to solve for Y but not for X) turned her High C to a solid D. She looked through the exam, scouring it, looking like the toy man from Toy Story, using an infinitely increasing series of overlapping lenses to look for one miniscule error on my part. I also made sure I took a picture of the test before handing it back, so she couldn't pull the "See, I made it negative... it's right" sort of thing. She's done that in the past.
She quickly whipped out her phone to see how much this grade impacted her overall. She was livid without a direction to hurtle it toward. I could see that this act of Petty MC on my part was a little too far.... I actually feel bad for "Mara".
As she looked up at me I could see her eyes well up a little bit... it was that "too quiet" right before something bad was about to happen... My spidey senses were tingling (side note, this is why I hate Avengers End Game... Spider-man looked surprised at his death... he should have sensed it, right? But I digress). Before she started to take her clenched arms (that she looked like she was trying to remove the top of the desk from it's connected chair) and turn them on me, I offered a solution.
"Look. Mara. Remember you can do corrections on the exam for a fourth of the credit back, right? That will get you almost all of the points that you were gifted in the first place. Whaddya say?"
She sheepishly agreed, wound up with a 17.5 out of 25, and has yet to give me a hard time since... but I'm pretty sure my semester survey will suffer greatly.
submitted by Ancient_Educator_76 to MaliciousCompliance [link] [comments]