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2023.02.03 05:33 19d_Magazine_5352 Anna Nystrom...Wiki Biography,age,weight,relationships,net worth
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2023.02.03 05:32 11Secret-Lobster9916 Sophie O’Neil Biography, Height, Weight, Net worth, Education, Family, Boyfriend and More.
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2023.02.03 05:31 trufruity My boyfriend chooses his mom and family over me
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2023.02.03 05:31 TheSurvivorBuff Notes with Dr. Bonnie Jacobs
Decided to date J but needs to keep it secret because he just split from partner. Has children boy + girl. Met in various places but always secret and discrete. I questioned her feelings about hiding. Says she understands. Feels he is protecting her. I asked how he treats her. Bought her a horse (white) because she told him as a child dreamed of having one. Loves to ride her horse – needs to be trained so can’t ride it yet. Not happy spending so much time w/ J’s friends. [Illegible] Has talked to him about his drinking and asked him to slow down. He knows about her parents and childhood. Feels sorry for him because his father was also an abusive alcoholic. (Trauma bonding ??) Has scars from beatings. Dad used belts and chains, also burnt him w/ cigarettes. Scars all over body including head. Spending nights together but hide going to and from each other’s homes. Concerned about paparazzi. Says he doesn’t want her blamed for break-up w/ ex because not true.Amber starts to realize the drinking and substance abuse is really bad in November 2011:
Continuing to see J but becoming more concerned about his drinking and drug use. Sometimes so bad he needs help getting into bed. Pointed out she is enabling him in similar way she enables parents, minus the money. Has only attended 1 Al-anon meeting. Found it helpful but can’t go often because of schedule. Doesn’t know what to do or how to do it. Advised her to stop picking him up or hiding bottles. Also suggested not seeing him if he is drunk or stoned. Feels she can’t do that but will try. He using most of the time so worried she’ll never see him.Johnny's anger starts to come up. Bonnie Jacobs becomes afraid he is hitting Amber:
[Amber] Afraid to discuss using + drinking because he gets loud and physical. Questioned if he has hit her. Said he only yells and throws things. Discussed Al-anon issues. How difficult but necessary it is for her to take care of herself.Amber's fraught relationship with her father a running theme:
Parents coming for Thanksgiving, not happy about it. J will be spending time w/ children. Afraid her father will tell people about her and J. Told him not to say anything but doesn’t know what he might do when drunk.The connection between her father and Johnny is made early by Dr. Jacobs:
More in depth discussion of J’s behavior and ways it parallels her father. Said J has a loving side and dad not so much. Discussed how only the substance abuser can stop him/herself from drinking and using... Can’t force someone to stop using if they don’t want to, and that addicts can’t stop for someone else. Addicts have to stop for themselves. Extremely tearful. Feels she can help him stop using. Wishes she could get friends, bodyguards, and sister to stop supporting and enabling his addictions. Too many people dependent on him for financial support. Asked why she wants to be w/ someone who is addict and behaves badly. Said she loves him and he loves her. Just doesn’t like “bad” J. Recommended Al-anon again.Police are almost called the third week of December, 2011:
Continued discussing her relationship w/ J. He was extremely drunk when he came to her apt. She was angry. He began screaming and cursing. Argument became so loud that landlord threatened to call the police. Doesn’t know what to do when he is like that. He left. Didn’t hear from him and got worried. Asked if this is relationship she wants? Again tearful and certain she can help him get clean and sober.Johnny got sober around Christmas:
Going out of town for holidays. Will be gone a couple of weeks. Looking forward to being w/ J and down time. J better but not sure he will stay sober. Discussed more books, [Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings] and Al-anonAmber gets back from vacation. January 8th, 2012 is Dr. Jacob's first unambiguous note of physical abuse:
Had a good time on vacation but there were times when she believed she knew what it was like to be her mother. Said she was reluctant to tell me what happened because she “knew what” I would say. Asked her what she thought I would say. Said she heard me saying “leave him on the floor, don’t engage, and to leave.” J very drunk, using, angry. Tried to calm him down. Asked him not to drink or use so much which made him angrier. Admits screaming back at him. He hit her, threw her on floor. She threw pot at him. Told her she dresses like a “whore” and was not to wear low cut dresses, shirts, etc. After he sobered up he’s always apologetic and sweet. Wants sweet J around more Discussed cycles of DV again. Told her no matter what she did or didn’t do that behavior was unacceptable. Told her no matter what she can’t change him.Dr. Jacobs noting they discussed domestic violence "again" suggests this is not the first time she was made aware Johnny had become physically abusive.
Talked about how difficult it is for her to not enable J’s behavior. Discussed difference between rage and anger. Father has been in and out of town. Insists on trying to “break” horse the way he’s always done it. A[mber] has a trainer who is doing it gently but father keeps interfering. Doesn’t feel she can stop him. Said she’s going to more Al-anon meetings and talking with friends and parents about J’s substance abuse. Said J gets drugs from friends, bodyguards, sister. Sister is his manager and works to keep him happy so he can financially support family. J supports mother, sister, children and thinks V. A[mber] angry people are willing to get him whatever he wants because he’s a celebrity and he pays them.In February she struggled with nightmares and became familiar with Johnny's "splitting":
Said she has recurring nightmares about parents and [sister?]. Wakes up in panic. Isn’t sleeping well. Discussed some of material in dreams. Sobbing during session. Said becomes panicked when J takes off for days and she doesn’t hear from him. J’s sister said he does that on occasion. Believes he goes on benders and may get hurt. Pretty sure he’s cheating on her when he does that.The reason for Johnny skipping out on her is made clear in March. Dr Jacob's tries to get Amber to see the patterns in his behavior:
Heard from J and saw each other. J gets angry and jealous when she is photographed w/ men eating out. Told him they are just friend. Discussed that trying to control is DV behavior.More insight into her father:
Afraid father is going to slip and tell people about her and J. Father drinks and talks a lot to look like he’s important. Concerned he will tell one of his drinking and drugging buddies and they will tell press. J says they will go public soon. She found some of the ways they sneak around funny but tired of it. J says he’ll drink and use less but doesn’t last long. A[mber] gets fearful later in night because he gets drunker then.Dr. Jacobs realized her nightmares were connected to Johnny:
Having nightmares about childhood and being chased – trouble sleeping. Has been [exercising?] but still can’t fall or stay asleep. Discussed and processed dreams. Discussed some of this is being triggered by J being similar to dad. Loss of agency. Discussed way to calm herself at night and work on changing dreams by visualizing something happy and pleasant as she falls asleep. Very tearful.Amber continued struggling with not caretaking for him:
Has gone to some Al-anon meeting and finds them helpful but still feels badly “doing nothing” when J needs to be taken to bed. Struggling with letting him stay on the floor when he passes out. Discussed how no consequences to substance abuse behavior are enabling the user. Explained how what most people consider helping someone only hurts the user because they do not need to take responsibility for actions. A[mber] understands concept better but still struggling with it.Dr. Jacobs tried to get Amber to understand the cycle of violence and control:
Continued discussing co-dependent behavior and how just checking up on J and parents is Co D. Afraid when she doesn’t hear from him he’s hurt or wants to break up. Told her this is his controlling behavior to keep her hooked in. Says she loves him and doesn’t understand how it’s controlling – discussed more. He becomes enraged because she “nags” him about drinking and drugging. Stays out with his friends and doesn’t get in til early morning. He’s missed a number of work meetings and call times because he’s too messed up to get there. Pointed out keeping track of his appointments is co-dep.In May, Johnny's jealousy was getting worse, though he seemed to make exception for iO and Rocky, but only iO and Rocky:
Went out w/ a male friend and J got upset. Has also been getting annoyed if she sees some female friends other than [iO Tillet Wright] or [Rocky Pennington] because she is bi. He’s been increasingly jealous and concerned she will cheat on him. Continually states she won’t but he wants to tell her who she can and can’t see. Discussed abuse includes control again. He frequently engages in name calling.The sexual abuse is first mentioned on May 24th, 2012:
Said she often feels uncomfortable when J touches her if he’s drunk. Said J has trouble maintaining erection when high. He gets angry and sometimes violent when that happens. Blames her for his failure. Discussed physiological reasons alcoholics and some substance users have sexual problems.Amber missed a lot of sessions because her car would break down. Dr. Jacobs had insight into Amber's thought process:
Apologized for late cancel. Talked about work and car trouble. Loves her car but it’s extremely problematic. Discussed how often she apologizes for same issue. Said she was sorry again. Laughed. Discussed how apologies are often not for things over which she has control or responsibility. Talked about how she tries to take on responsibility in effort to have control. Fails and feels bad because no matter how hard she tries to make herself responsible she’s not. Blames herself for a lot that isn’t about her.Johnny and her father start drinking together in June:
Dad and J drinking buddies. Likes when mom and sister are there. Has been very busy. Paparazzi very distressing. Follow her around. Still is hiding w/ J at her place and his. Feels lonely when not w/ others.(This note was made on June 28th. Previous to reading these, I'd pieced together Johnny was off the wagon and drinking with Amber's father because of a picture a fan posted with Johnny at a bar on June 14th. Amber's dad is in the background. Picture here. Amber's reports are truly very consistent with independent evidence.)
Not feeling well. Rough time w/ J. Disappeared. Came late. A[mber] was worried. Argued about who she was seeing. Thinks she is cheating. She denied but he was in a rage. He threw things. Glass flew near her head. Asked if she was going to Al-anon meetings. Said she didn’t have time but wanted to. Still can’t bring herself to tell him to go home or not come over if he is drunk/drugged. Fears he will be hurt. Asked what about her feelings? Told her he is escalating and not about her. Feels she should be able to do something.Dr. Jacobs tried to get Amber to see the extent of Johnny's controlling behavior:
Having nightmares again. Very tearful. Afraid of breaking up w/ J. Feels he will stop using and drinking if she can help him feel better about himself. Still not going public because he is protecting her. [I] Ask if she believes that. Said she is afraid of bad publicity. Discussed cycle of DV and control is a sign.Amber wanted to get better at handling Johnny's splitting:
Talked to J but he is often unresponsive. Scares her when she doesn’t hear from him. Reminded her if something happened to him she would know from media. Wants to do more work on codependency. Talked through some co-dep behaviors.Reports of sexual violence return on September 25th:
Extremely fatigued. Fighting w/ J again. He violent. Throwing things. Some hit her. She screaming back. Started w/ he was upset at clothes. Ripped her nightgown threw her on bed. Tried to have sex but couldn’t get erection. Became more angry. He passed out.In the aftermath Johnny promised to get sober. From October 2nd:
J being nice. Sorry for fight. Discussed cycle of abuse (Honeymoon stage). J promised he would get cleanFrom October 9th:
J not using since fight. Does better when they are together. Sure she can help him stay clean. Had more discussion about addiction. Went over it not being caused by her. His use is long term before they even met. Feels responsible even though isn’t logical. Why can’t she help more?Johnny told Amber more about his abusive childhood:
J’s mother at house. Very demanding and nasty. J’s father dead. Both abusive when J was young. Father worse than mother.(Probably just a result of Dr. Jacob's quickly writing notes, but it is Johnny's stepfather who passed away, not biological father.)
Discussed her mother’s [role] in father’s abuse. He abused all of them but she allowed it by staying. Very tearful.Dr. Jacobs remained concerned about Johnny exerting so much control over Amber through hiding the relationship, but Amber continued to see it from Johnny's perspective:
Still claims J thinks it’s best to wait. Makes it a game to hide. A[mber] buying into it.At the end of October, Johnny was hanging out with Marilyn Manson. Amber really didn't care for him:
J’s friends bad influence. A[mber] doesn’t like MM. Talks badly about women, does a lot of drugs.Amber's family planned on coming for Christmas. She was worried about Johnny spending time with her father. Sexual violence again brought up:
Feeling stress about holidays and shoot. Parents coming for X-mas. Always worried about Dad drinking and causing problems. Discussed Al-anon, ways to deal w/ his drinking – Don’t engage. Has trouble doing that when he verbally attacks sister and mother. J winds up drinking w/ dad. Father misogynist – says horrible things about how women should be treated to J. Sometimes J becomes verbally and sexually abusive after spending time w/ father. Has thrown her on bed and had “angry sex.” If he’s drunk can’t perform and gets angrier. Blames her for impotence. She feels responsible. Discussed addicts not taking responsibility for their actions. Blaming others so they don’t need to own their behavior.From November 28th:
Continued discussing addict behavior. That she didn’t cause and therefore can’t fix the problem. Talked about going to couples therapy. J says he has a psychiatrist and maybe they can see him. A doesn’t think he sees the psychiatrist very often. Not sure if he gets pills from him. Thinks psychiatrist is just another “yes man” because J is rich and famous.(Johnny was addicted to Roxicodone and Klonopin at this point. Safe to say Amber's concern over his psychiatrist was correct. That's the guy supplying him with the "pills" Johnny always mentions to Paul Bettany.)
J got drunk and passed out on couch. Left him there and went to bed. Felt proud of herself for not trying to make it okay for him but bad at the same time. Discussed change is difficult. Nothing changes if she always does the same thing. No consequences means nothing changes.Amber didn't see Dr. Jacobs while she was in Europe for her shoot. The next session was March 7th, one day before the "disco bloodbath" fight:
J’s drinking and drugging again. Went to Rolling Stones concert and didn’t ask her. Felt very hurt that he would leave her out knowing she loves the Stones. Kept asking why he would do that. Feels uncared for and unloved when he does those things. Feels punished for complaining about his using. Discussed addiction and DV, emotional abuse and control. Says she understands codependency but is having trouble getting the [illegible] in her heart. Sure she can change him.After going public, Johnny wouldn't let her address the rumors that she ended his marriage with Vanessa ("the homewrecker shit you never let me fight," as Amber put it in February 2016):
People are saying vicious things about her. Hurt her feelings because they don’t know her. Discussed putting up better boundaries and ignoring people or defending herself. J says ignore it but she wants people to know the truth. Studios protect J but not her. Word of J’s drunkenness and drugs hardly ever make tabloids. No one knows how many times he has thrown things at her and other people or shown up late to call times because of drugs and alcohol.From March 18th:
Mom telling her to not be so hard on J to go along more. Got angry w/ her because of what happened since mom did that w/ dad. Asked why she was with J given his behavior. Says she loves him and feels if things were more stable between them he would get better. Checked to determine if abuse was ever directed at children. A[mber] said not that she ever saw.Police were called around this time:
he threw her against a wall and threatened to kill her while they were at her apt. Landlord called police but told them everything was fine. Pointed out her behavior was paralleling her mom’s and she can’t “fix” J.Johnny was back in the "Honeymoon" phase after threatening to kill her:
J being nice and loving again. Sorry he hurt her. A[mber] acknowledges she screamed back and put him down. Doesn’t know what to do when he is out of control. Asked if she could leave, go someplace safe. Said she could go to a friend. Again asked why she wants to be w/ him. What does she love about him? Made some statements about “the good J.” Pointed out the bad one comes w/ the good one.In the aftermath of the "Documentary/Painting" incident on March 22nd, Amber had a panic attack on March 25th:
Had a panic attack but was able to use relaxation techniques to calm herself down.From April 1st:
Has been reading a lot about alcoholism, abuse and childhood trauma... knowing/understanding only go so far. Feels if she can understand it will be easier to deal with her stuff and J. Informed her no amount of understanding makes behavior “ok.” Great to understand but people have to be held accountable for their behavior.April 11th:
J drinking and using again. Got nasty and grabbed her [this word is either "arm" or "again"]. Passed out in living room and she left him there. Discussed possibly moving in w/ him and what that would mean for her safety. Friend [iO Tillet Wright] is around more when she’s at J’s. Expressed concern re: his blackouts and behavior. A[mber] thinks he will be better when they live together.April 30th:
Had fun on birthday but J and his friends got drunk. He’s using more. She stays away when they are using and he gets angry. Always sorry next day. Wants him to see therapist more often. He says he will.From May 8th, only a few days before Johnny would text Stephen Deuters that he cut himself badly and needed stitches:
She can’t make J stop. J has been late and missing work because of drinking and drugs. People, some friends angry about his behavior. Unprofessional. Gets so angry w/ self he burns his skin w/ cigarettes. Tried to get him to stop but he gets angrier. Loves him and wants to help him.A few days later:
Having trouble w/ sleeping. Had panic attack. Discussed events leading up to panic. Reminded her if she can talk she has to be breathing. J jealous about her filming w/ other men. Assures him she’s faithful but he’s unreasonable. Doesn’t want her to dress in low cut or tight fitting clothes. Feeling very pressured.Amber went out of town with Johnny to Hicksville at the end of May, then on to his press tour for The Lone Ranger. She didn't check back in with Dr. Jacobs until August 1st, soon after getting back from Europe:
Really wanted to talk over past months but was busy w/ her work, J’s work and appearances. Really happy to be home but leaving again soon. Feels better staying at J’s compound because security doesn’t allow paparazzi and fans to get in. Friend [iO Tillet Wright] is living in one of the houses because [he] is broke. Wishes there were not so many other people around – J’s “friends.” J’s using is very bad. She has been yelling at him about drugs and alcohol. He falling down, passing out, and verbal abuse. She screamed at him about public behavior like kissing [Jimmy Kimmel] on TV. Arguments are more frequent and hurting himself and her. Told him she would leave if he didn’t stop and get help. She took it back after he promised he would. I told her to stop hiding and emptying bottles as it doesn’t help and could make things worse.Johnny was fresh out of rehab around this time:
Still arguing but getting a little better. J has been drinking less. Has not blacked out or gotten violent in past few days. Reminded her he has not committed to sobriety and nothing change[s] until he is. She sure he is willing to get better. Having trouble w/ studio because of his actions. She and his sister trying to [illegible] w/ him. A[mber] can’t stand that his “friends” hang out and want to party. Feels they use J.From August 20th:
Things have been quieter at home but always a little on edge. Discussed not knowing when the next shoe might drop so she is hypervigilant. Recommended “Co-Dependent no more” and “Walking on eggshells.” I questioned decision to move in w/ J. Said she thinks it will get better. He’s not drinking as much.Amber spent most of the rest of the year in London, not going back to see Dr. Jacobs until January 7th, 2014:
Getting engaged. Holidays ok but J using again. Spent time w/ parents, sister and bf. Saw friends. Getting house ready to move in. Wants to have engagement party but very busy and doesn’t know how to juggle everything. Very stressed. [Rocky] said she’ll help with party. J busy w/ filming and movie. Has been passing out a lot. Fearful he will OD and/or become nasty. Asked if she’s going to Al-anon? Said sometimes but no time. Told to make time. Fears she is failing because can’t get J to be sober.From January 16th:
Dad and J drinking buddies. Upset J is using. Banned father from their room at hotel. [Rocky] helping with food and venue for [engagement] party. Worried everything won’t get done in time. Did relax in office. Says she is trying to do it at home but it’s hard. [Illegible] helps but not enough. I questioned her willingness to marry J. Said she can help him. Asked how well mom was able to help dad. Said it was different because mom is addict too.Four days later:
Life still stressful. Work stuff, house and party. J’s working – music and film. He’s showing up late to work. A[mber] tries to get him to not use night before work. Works sometimes. [Rocky] doing good job trying to find venue for party. Very attached and grateful to [Rocky]. Have each other’s backs.From January 23rd:
Has been exercising for stress. Helps but not enough. Trouble sleeping. Nightmares. Discussed dream content. J being verbally aggressive. Gets angry if no alcohol. A[mber] admits to dumping some. Discussed not doing that. He can always get more and she’s being [codependent]. [Illegible] to go to Al-anon. Will do so before next session. Helps to talk to [iO Tillet Wright] about Al-anon issues.One week later:
Not sleeping well or enough. Very tired and needs to look good for camera. J’s sistemgr causing problems. Sister helps J get drugs and alcohol. A[mber] feels too many people support his using. Wants to do something about that but not sure what.Amber saw Dr. Jacobs on February 3rd, only a few hours before a fight with Johnny would blow up into a multi-day affair across the 4th and 5th:
Discussed pre-nup. J doesn’t want one because he says only way one of them leaving marriage is death. I asked if she would sign one. She said yes she has no prob with it. Finds what J said funny and endearing. Asked, given his history, if maybe it’s a little scary. Denied being afraid.From February 12th:
J got drunk. Fell and broke table. Left him there passed out. Found him in bed next AM. Doesn’t know if he got there himself or bodyguards helped. Hard to use Al-anon techniques when so many other people are involved in caretaking him.The first week of March:
Very anxious... Asked if having second thoughts about marriage. She said yes but feels she can help J and will have more say over things once they are married. Told her she set [precedent] for [illegible] behavior and other’s behavior so likely won’t change. Became tearful and repeated that she loves him.Later in March is the first mention of Johnny's jealousy over James Franco:
Stated she leaves to shoot movie in a couple of days. Can’t come to therapy for a while. Re-stated can call if needs to. Worried about part and J’s feelings about her working love scenes with [James Franco.] Told him nothing to worry about. Feels he is going to cause problems on set. He will visit but not going to be there most of the time.Amber went back to Dr. Jacobs on May 15th, nine days before she would board their flight from Boston to Los Angeles:
Someone posted photo of her w/ JF and J got angry. Had argument. Screaming. Crying. He threatened to break up she assured him nothing was going on. J threw things at her. She left was scared. Went to friend’s house. J cut and burned self. Was drunk yelling he was worthless and she didn’t love him. Doesn’t know what to do when he self mutilates. Told her to call an ambulance. Said she can’t do that because press will get hold of it. Same reason she doesn’t call police when they fight. Also knows cops won’t do anything because he’s a celebrity.Amber went to see Dr. Jacobs on May 23rd, only hours before she would receive a phone call from Johnny that would set her back on edge:
Talked to J about how scary his behavior was. He apologized. On his best behavior right now. Again discussed cycle of DV.From a text exchange Amber had with Johnny's sister Christi on May 25th, 2014, in the aftermath of the flight in which Johnny kicked her:
CD: How have you been before this?Amber did not go back to see Dr. Jacobs until well into the summer of 2014. From August 4th:
AH: Great, perfect, heaven until he decides to use. And the drug abuse, all prescription meds, and drinking has been slowly climbing every day. And we've been fine except when there's any issue or hiccup or problem. Then shit hits the fan because he doesn't deal with it as Johnny, he deals with it as a totally different person. A demon. It was the worst I've ever seen him. I think it's because he's now taking Adderall on top of all the other shit, which is the equivalent to consuming a pharmaceutical speedball every day. He will die if he continues to call being sober just not drinking. And his medicine kit includes tons of new drugs. He's going to kill himself Christi.
Decided on wedding date have a lot to do. Looking at gowns. J left planning to her. Got planner. [Rocky] helping. Discussed feelings re: marriage and substance use. Also discussed issues of DV in relationship. Stated J better and not acting out physically. Believes she can manage problems. Suggested getting impartial couple’s therapist. J not up for that. Wants to use someone he knows if anyone.Three days later was the last appointment Amber would have with Dr. Jacobs until 2019:
Seems wrapped up in idea of fantasy wedding not realities of relationship problems. Advised problems don’t get better, if anything get worse. Sure things will get better once they are actually married because she will have more authority in house. Told her that wasn’t realistic.
2023.02.03 05:31 11Secret-Lobster9916 Sophie O Neill Australian Instagram Model Wiki Figure Net worth Biography. #DreamInstaModel
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2023.02.03 05:30 11Secret-Lobster9916 Sophie Oneill Wiki 💗 Biography Relationships Lifestyle Net Worth Curvy Plus Size Model
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2023.02.03 05:30 Malaquisto Thursday Reading: Can anyone suggest some online resources for British history during the Restoration/Glorious Revolution period, 1660-1700?
2023.02.03 05:30 itsVanquishh found this and not familiar with bonds