Femboy no nut november
No Nut November Closed until October 2023
2017.11.03 06:25 yeeval No Nut November Closed until October 2023
Akin to trends like No Shave November, No Nut November is an event where those who have found it hard to go even a few days without masturbating attempt to challenge the dependency, and go the entire month without making the bald man cry. Some do it just for the memes, while others do it for actual self-improvement.
2020.11.24 08:50 Destroy Dick December
The sister challenge to No Nut November.
2018.11.08 16:51 THETORTIOSE Making people fail No Nut November
2023.02.03 06:06 Turpitudia79 “Accidental” AP
I’m certainly not doing it deliberately but I AP almost every time I go to sleep. I wake up immediately after and it’s always exactly 1 hour and 20 minutes after I’ve fallen asleep. It scares me. I don’t know how to control it and I don’t know why it keeps happening. It makes me not want to sleep and sometimes I stay awake for almost 2 full days to avoid it. This started happening (to my knowledge) shortly after I got sober almost 5 years ago from a 20+ year drug addiction. My life is good, more than good. I’m very happily married and am very much at peace when I fall asleep. My mom and I are very close, I have a few good friends, my mental health conditions are stabilized, I really have no worries. Is there a way I can stop this or learn to deal with it better? This may sound totally nuts. I’ve been “lurking” here for a little while.
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2023.02.03 06:06 CulturePractical2079 Quality over Speed(rant)
Call center job is driving me nuts. We changed software about 2 years ago to something that isn’t really designed for what we need, and didn’t update the documentation so there aren’t really any standard processes anymore. The systems we have don’t communicate with one another well either.
I had someone call in needing a repair on some equipment that they have been trying to get done since November 2022. This person had been transferred 9 times today so far. I have gotten very good at diagnosing issues in our buggy system albeit it takes me a minute to find the specific issue. 20 minutes later I discovered it was an issue with how our system associated pulled GIS data. I get the correct location info put on the order on Monday and let our dispatcher and a system engineer know about the issue. Tuesday the customer calls back because the dispatcher disregarded my info, and our service technician sent the customer a text saying we don’t have equipment here. (Technician is at the wrong address) The customer spoke to a supervisor in another department who was trying to get it diagnosed, and wanted to know what information I had. I let them know and then our dispatch tells the supervisor we don’t have equipment at the address. They just accept it as oh well the customer was wrong, and let me know thank you for the info, but it is being closed.
I send a group email to the whole team explaining the situation, and it finally gets resolved Wednesday.
Then my direct supervisor sends me a message asking why I didn’t transfer the call because it isn’t our job to handle that call type, and while I was working on this customers are on hold.
Losing my mind here like is the goal even to resolve issues anymore. Or is it just about not having any calls coming in. Seems so backwards.
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2023.02.03 05:55 Impulsive__Decisions HR made offer but replied saying need finance approval
So I’m currently encountering the most frustrating HR process ever. I interviewed for this huge American MNC back in November, went through 5 rounds. The interviews were done by mid Dec, but HR got back to me saying she will give an offer in Jan.
Come Jan, HR says they’re still interviewing other candidates and she will take another few weeks to get back.
End Jan - sends a generic rejection email with no feedback even though I knew I’d made an impression at the interview.
Next day - tells me they opened up another position to accommodate me if I’m still interested
Next day - sends an email saying she’s willing to offer me the position and to discuss details on call. When the meeting was scheduled, replied saying she “needs to take the day off urgently”
Next day - Says she needs to get finance approval as they are on a “strict budget watch” and will get back to me next week.
Has someone encountered something similar? Is this common for MNCs?
For context, I have worked with multiple companies in the past and the HR process has always been smooth.
Its really taken a toll on me and any advice/guidance would be greatly appreciated.
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2023.02.03 05:55 lurker2080 In over our heads?
So I posted the other day to vent. Quick background me and my wife adopted a 3 year old aussie mix almost 2 weeks ago. We were told he's scared of stairs and needs training. He came over to meet our other dog who is an aussie as well but he's 10. They got along great and played like no other so we decided to adopt him.
In the house he's pretty great. Only 1 accident thus far and that's when he was cooped up in the basement with my wife who was working and I was in the office. We got him having no issues with stairs too quickly.
Issue is he is very reactive. When walking him if there's another dog he goes nuts wanting to see it. We "lucked out" and the week we got him the local ARL had basic obedience classes starting that Thursday (last week) and had a spot. We went and it was hell. He wouldn't stop barking and whining. We didn't get anything out of the class and I felt horrible for others there. They put up some blinders to block his view and that helped but all he did was try to get out to see the dogs. They had us doing clicker training.
I worked with him on walks and today actually he did pretty great but there was Noone else out. Today was the day of his 2nd training and we went. At first it seemed great then 2 more dogs came in and he lost his mind barking. The trainer came up and put the blinder but he kept going and they essentially kicked us out saying they're worried for his safety because of anxiety and him freaking out.
We know the next step is a personal 1 on 1 trainer but I'm seriously worried. Me and my wife were in tears tonight. I feel like we were lied to about his anxiety/social skills.
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2023.02.03 05:52 prettyprettypangolin No more stools unless medically necessary
I work as a teller in Northern CA. I worked at a different location previously and stools were always available to sit while working on the teller line. I moved to a new location, same company, in July. When I got there stools to sit were available and 3 out of 4 tellers used them regularly.
Around November or December the branch manager told us we have to stand while helping customers. Which was fine. I do that usually anyway.
The problem is this. When I came into my shift this past Saturday the lead of operations (basically my supervisor) said that the branch manager had removed all the stools and we were no longer allowed to sit at the teller stations.
Now I looked into it and it seems like there is a law that passed in California about suitable seating. I'm wondering if they are in violation of that since the job can be done sitting the entire time.
Later the branch manager said the only way to get a stool to sit is by filing a medical accommodation with HR. Any thoughts or guidance would be appreciated.
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2023.02.03 05:47 Princess_Kori Has anyone had a bunny diagnosed with thymoma or something similar?
I’m not looking for medical advice, I just want to know what others have gone through. My bunny Dexter (around 5, MN California Dwarf) almost definitely has thymoma. He’s been showing what I now know are textbook symptoms since late November and after several emergency vet visits, diagnostics, and followups, they found the tumour a few weeks ago. He just had an ultrasound and biopsy on Tuesday so no cytology report yet but his vet proactively referred him to an oncologist. If anyone has had to get cancer treatment for their bunny, what was the outcome? How did they handle it? And how much was it? Not that cost will change anything, but I might have to beg a few relatives for help lol. (Pet insurance isn’t an option because Canada only has it for cats and dogs)
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2023.02.03 05:45 TS_SI_TK_ORCON Trying to Find Music Video. Starts off in a diner and a vampire looking dude driving a Ferrari or some sort of sports car. There are two versions of the song, one with another group/band. Takes place at night.
The guy driving the sports car has an 80's feel to it. When he was into the diner, I think the lights go out, and the patrons shoot the guy to no effect, he saves the girl and I think drives off with her.
I can't think of anything else, but it's driving me nuts.
The videos are (or were) on youtube.
Anybody have any idea what song/music video I'm talking about? I'm been searching everywhere with all the keywords of things I can remember but I can't seem to find it.
Any help would be much appreciated.
Sorry for the clumsiness this is my first time posting here.
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2023.02.03 05:44 emburrs HOW DO I STOP THE DUMPING?!?
My 17mo toddler loves to dump things over. Like… everything. Water or milk in an open cup? Dump. Water or milk in a straw cup? Turn it over and squeeze to try to get as much out as possible. Food in a bowl or on a plate? She will eat until she is no longer starving and then dump it (but it won’t be nearly enough food consumed). Of course the natural consequence is “clean up your mess” but she LOVES to clean her mess. She happily asks for a paper towel and attempts to wipe whatever it is up.
Is this just a phase that will pass? Anything I can do differently to stop it? When I try to leave her unsupervised with any of the above things (and by unsupervised I mean like turning my back and doing something at the counter) I end up with a mess and I’m going nuts.
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2023.02.03 05:40 ZetaMarlfox I (28M) just broke up with my girlfriend (28F) because of her kid and his behavior
We'd been going out since September of 2021, and things started out great, even with her kid. She had returned home to the USA from Germany after having been there for four or so years. We were in an open relationship and had acknowledged that I didn't want kids of my own; I wasn't there acting as a father figure or anything and was more of just a "friend" to the child, at best. All was well for a while, but ever since September of last year the cracks started showing.
Her child is high-functioning autistic (sometimes I doubt it, but that's not the point), and for the last several months he had really drove a wedge between us and the interactions we were having. January was the climax and today was when I ultimately put my foot down in that I couldn't be a party to it anymore. He got suspended from school for "violent behavior" in the last week of January so that really sent up a red flag on my end, and couple this with the fact that he has an unhealthy obsession with firearms that ESPECIALLY disturbed me. Whenever he was over at my apartment he was always begging me to let him hold my SKS rifle (which I recently sold in part because I needed the money, but also because I didn't want him around something like that) and/or my old airsoft guns that were in the closet. Naturally when you put the fact of his suspension and his gun interest at age 12 together, you can see a cause for concern.
Yesterday I learned he had also gotten detention immediately upon returning to school because he never does his homework or schoolwork, and doesn't turn it in if he does. I blame this in part to his unbelievable laziness. No chores done, he literally just sits on his XBox all day when he's not in school babbling his gamerspeak while there's dirty dishes, full garbage bins, and laundry all over the place. It's disgusting. I feel like she's partially guilty of this too with how she's part-time and has time to do this stuff, but that's a more minor part of my reasons to sever relations.
It got to the point that we couldn't even watch a movie or sit on the couch without him getting up in our personal space or spazzing out.
Secondary reasons would be that she's been fruitlessly spinning the tires at her job "waiting" to take the test for pharmacy tech certification, which she was supposed to take in November. She claimed that her employer said "they have no record of her application to take the test". And that was the end of it, she literally has not brought up again when she's taking it, and honestly part of me thinks she's content not to because she's making about what she would in part-time and child support from her ex that she would be making in full-time if she got certified. This part is all speculation and maybe she really hasn't been able to get full-time and certified for reasons other than that, but it's just what I have come to suspect.
Today I finally said enough is enough and pulled the plug on the relationship.
I'm most distraught at what it's going to do to her, and not to me. She always put me first in this relationship and seldom thought of herself. I was pretty much the only thing she had here besides her sister, son, and relatives (her mother is deceased and her father is absent from her life), and knowing how important I was to her, abruptly cutting this off has me internally feeling guilty and like I'm the one at fault.
This is the longest relationship I've had and the first in which I have been the one to initiate the breakup. Maybe it's an alien feeling to me, but I didn't want to do this because I do genuinely care about her and all she did for me. Am I a bad person for having done this? And if not, how am I supposed to feel better about myself?
TLDR: I broke up with my girlfriend because of her child constantly inhibiting our relationship and I feel like the bad guy even though I can't condone his behavior. She needs to focus on herself and her kid.
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2023.02.03 05:39 Inside-Anything6370 Long distance relation
My husband (26M) always wanted to live in Singapore. And I (27F) was ok with that.
I looked for a job there, and I found that my company was indeed looking for a position. So I found a job first.
a) February 2022: Moving to Singapore
I was a bit anxious, it was the first time I was moving so far away from my family and friends, to a country where I knew absolutely nobody. And I loved my job in Paris. But my husband was delighted with the opportunity and pushed me to go, saying he would join me in 6 months (he had to finish a course for his Masters and do an internship in London).
I moved . I signed a two-year contract, renewable, and left with our cat. I signed a two-year lease in a flat that could directly accommodate my husband and me, I took out a wifi subscription, electricity, etc. I rent a two-bedroom flat because he wanted to transform the smallest room into an office.
The 6 months without him were much more difficult for him than for me. I guess it's normal, I was the one who moved to a new city, and he was the one who had to stay in Paris (our hometown). Even though I was petrified in the beginning, I met incredibles friends, I started to enjoy work, which made everything a little easier.
In the end, he couldn't get his internship in London because of a VISA problem (he has Russian nationality and the application was made just after the war started).
So he is without an internship, available earlier to join me, but the Singaporean visa (a dependant pass) took too much time (in total it took 2 months instead of the standard 3 weeks). He was devastated. So I told him to come in Malaysia and wait there (as a Russian citizen he can stay there for a month without a visa). I came to visit him frequently.
b) September 2022 - My husband's move to Singapore
Finally, he manages to come and join me . He had been actively looking for a job since I had left, but had not been able to find one. He works in finance, and with the little experience he had I understood that banks prefer to hire a local rather than an expatriate.
Besides that, he was found to have a herniated cervical disc, preventing him from playing sports, going for long walks or even sitting for too long.
He lost his father just before I left France and is now an orphan. He lost his mother very young.
Finally, the story with FTX, he loses several thousand euros.
2022 was a BAD year.
In short, these 3 months spent with me were hard for him, and obviously for me too because I didn't know what to do to help him.
He was often in a bad mood, with no enthusiasm or desire to discover the city. Since I was working, I could only see him at weekends, and he often slept until 12/14pm.
In short, it was complicated.
For all these reasons, he explained to me that he had to find a job, he needed to feel useful.
He left in November 2022. And since I rent a two-bedroom flat, I sublet the room to a friend until July 6. This gives me some company and it helps with the crazy rent price.
c) November 2022
Do you remember his internship in London? They offered him an interview for a permanent contract.
At the same time, he applied to a company in Paris (which has a subsidiary in Singapore). He got the job, and started in December 2022 in Paris. He told me he was feeling a little better, that it was good for him to put on a suit, to work, to keep his mind busy.
d) December 2022
I come to see him for the holidays.
I'm a bit ashamed to suggest this to him, but I'll go ahead anyway, what if instead of going to work in London you stay in Paris and ask to be transferred to Singapore? I was surprised he didn't consider it, after all he was the one who wanted to live in Singapore.
But he explained to me that working in London would give him better job opportunities, a better career and a better salary. And that the work is more interesting in London than in Paris. So he signed the contract for London and has to wait for the work visa to come back. While waiting for this VISA, he remains working in Paris.
In addition, his herniated disc seems to be causing him less pain.
e) January 2023
I return to Singapore from France on 10 January 2023. He got the VISA back a few days later. I have rarely seen him so happy, he was dreaming of working in this company.
He left Paris for London on 13 January. He moved into a room he had rented.
And then it was a catastrophe. He realises that he made a mistake, that he should never have left the Paris branch, that he should have joined me, that he loves me enormously and that he can't live without me, that the career he's building in London and the money he's making mean nothing to him if I'm not with him to share it.
Honestly it scared me, because it was sudden. I got worried and took a plan to London on the 20th of January to spend the weekend with him, to reassure him and I came back on the 24th of January.
He tells me that he is ready to leave everything to come back to live with me in Singapore, that he was unhappy when he was in Singapore because of his health and work problems, but that he is much more unhappy without me, that he was not ready to go anywhere alone, that he did not realised it before.
I think he's in the middle of a depression. I'm trying, but struggling, to convince him to see a psychiatrist.
He asks me to either drop everything and come back early, and if I want to finish my mission, that he can drop everything and come to join me here in Singapore, and that he would wait for me until my mission ends in February 2024.
Now I am in the opposite situation where I tell him that it is not reasonable.
Firstly, there is only one year left. I will join him as soon as I finish my contract. Also, I asked my manager to telework from London, he gave me 3 times 2 weeks in a year (+ I have 15 days off).
Secondly, he was dreaming of this job, it's a prestigious position and extremely well paid, in the current world economy I think we should be grateful to be able to have this kind of position.
And thirdly, I think we'd be happy for a few weeks if he came here, but in a few months or years I'm afraid he'll regret the decision he's made and subconsciously resent me. After all we already tried this scenario the last summer, and it was still quite difficult.
I sent an email to my hierarchy to ask them if I could be transferred in February 2024, and at the same time I am applying for other positions on LinkedIn. But obviously, since it's only been three weeks, I haven't had any feedback yet.
At the moment it's very hard, I'm trying to absorb his anxiety and fears, I'm trying to reassure him, but I'm exhausted, I cry for nothing, I can't concentrate on my work and I wonder what I could do.
He does not understand why I'm so loyal to my job since he is ready to drop everything, knowing he would not find a job here, and I'm not ready to do that, and that I should reconsider my priorities in life.
I'm not sure what I am expecting from this post, I guess I needed to vent.
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2023.02.03 05:38 JournalistCurrent299 AITA for suing friends over money
So I have these two friends E and S… there’s a lot to the story but just not enough room.. so the basics in June I put a down payment on 10 acres of land.. we were supposed to go half.. I paid for everything.. the electricity, the people came out to work, equipment, supplies, if we needed I paid for it. I also paid for the down payment in their tiny home. I bought Es engagement ring. I was supposed to be paid back. Then I have thousands of dollars stolen out of my checking account… I got in a hole to deep I couldn’t see my way out. After a huge fight they find the money to get their own land and move.. now they need to stay on my land for a few months while they save to get everything on over there. Ok as long as they keep making half the land payment.. no argument then. Things slowly go from bad to worse.. they finally move the end November.. still owing me rent and thousands. I recently found out some things that were said to other friends that night. But they haven’t paid me anything. If they help me do anything then it’s with snide remarks about how they are the only ones that show up. Yes there is ALOT more to it but not enough room.. but AITA for wanting them to pay me back. And if I sue them to get it back?0
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2023.02.03 05:35 Createsalot Chatting, made coffee date, now I’m concerned
So I’ve been chatting with a guy for a few days. He asks decent questions, we have similar interests, etc… so he asked if I’d like to go out this weekend. I said ok to an early coffee date. There are a couple things that concern me, and I am wondering if I’m being nuts. Me (44f) never married, no kids. Him (43m) divorced 2 girls 8 and 13.
- So he responds to my messages like immediately, all of them. With the swiftness I’ve never seen before. That kinda bothers me.
- He asked about my “love language” as like the 4the question. I mean is that a determining factor? I dont really subscribe to love languages and told him such.
- His last message to me was him saying “compatibility test” if you don’t at least think my youngest kid is a little cute we can’t go for coffee on sat 😂. And sent a vid of his daughter dancing.
I understand the other 2 are like, meh. But the last one bothers me. Like, are you trying to manipulate me to say your kid is cute? Hold a coffee date over my head??
Am I overreacting here? Would love to hear some thoughts. I’m terrible at dating. Thanks in advance.
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2023.02.03 05:35 Coy9ine Prosecutors say Murdaugh’s motive lurks in a history of theft. Can they tell the jury?
BY JOHN MONK, TED CLIFFORD, AND BRISTOW MARCHANT - The State - 2/2/23 [Video Link]
A South Carolina judge on Thursday heard gripping testimony from accused double murderer Alex Murdaugh’s longtime best friend and a top official from his former law firm about how the former Hampton attorney lied and allegedly stole from clients and fellow lawyers.
One prosecution witness, Jeanne Seckinger, a longtime finance officer at Murdaugh’s former law firm, explained how Murdaugh repeatedly violated the firm’s long history “of trust and brotherhood” with his lies and thefts of more than $2 million.
Chris Wilson, Murdaugh’s longtime best friend, wept with sadness and anger as he explained how Murdaugh used him in a 2021 scheme to pocket $792,000 in fees from Murdaugh’s law firm, in the process bilking Wilson of $192,000.
“He was one of my best friends,” said Wilson, who spent more than an hour on the witness stand Thursday, at times dabbing his eyes with a tissue. “I thought he felt the same way about me.”
Asked by lead prosecutor Creighton Waters how, sitting before Murdaugh, he feels now, a downcast Wilson replied, “I don’t know how I feel now, Mr. Waters.”
Both testified Thursday out of the jury’s presence at Murdaugh’s double-murder trial as Judge Clifton Newman mulls whether their testimony and others can be shared with a Colleton County jury as motive for murder.
Murdaugh, who hails from a prominent family, is accused of killing his wife, Maggie, and son, Paul, the night of June 7, 2021, at the the family’s rural 1,700-acre rural Colleton County estate.
He has pleaded not guilty, and faces life in prison without parole if convicted in their deaths.
For now, the 12-member jury has only heard hints from prosecutors about Murdaugh’s alleged money schemes.
On Thursday, after hearing from Seckinger and Wilson, Newman appeared receptive to the state’s arguments. He indicated late Thursday he was willing to let the jury hear information about Murdaugh’s money schemes, but said he might decide Friday how much of it could be disclosed.
Prosecutors want to introduce the financial evidence to show the jury a motive for why Murdaugh would seek to kill his own family members. Murdaugh’s attorneys, Dick Harpootlian and Jim Griffin, say there’s no connection between the murders and Murdaugh’s unraveling financial problems.
“He was burning through cash like crazy. (That) $792,000 was gone in no time at all,” Waters explained to Newman Thursday. “This is really about the fear of being about to be exposed. On June 7, at that point of time, he was out of options.”
Only by knowing the specifics of Murdaugh’s extensive embezzlement schemes — and the looming threat of disclosure by his law firm and attorney Mark Tinsley who had named Murdaugh as a defendant in a civil lawsuit — Waters said a jury would be able to understand why Murdaugh “was doing these things and why he was out of time.”
Waters told Newman he wants to introduce additional evidence to the jury that would show how Murdaugh engineered a $4 million theft from the estate of his late housekeeper, Gloria Satterfield, and how Tinsley was seeking $10 million in damages from Murdaugh at the time of the murders.
“For a jury to understand what is going on, they really have to understand the full picture,” Waters said. “When the hound is at the door, when Hannibal is at the gate, violence happens.”
Griffin told Newman Thursday the connection is illogical and should not be admissible under South Carolina’s rules of evidence, which don’t allow the jury to consider prior alleged criminal conduct.
And in any case, Griffin said, the imminent death of Murdaugh’s father, Randall Murdaugh, had already begun to generate considerable sympathy from his law partners and others, sympathy that would have delayed any investigation from his firm, which already had a long history of forgiving his financial improprieties.
And, Griffin said, Mureaugh was in the process of refinancing various properties and that refinancing would have releived financial pressures.
“It’s all just a theory,” Griffin said. “There’s no facts.”
LAW FIRM CEO CONFRONTS MURDAUGH ABOUT MISSING MONEY
The state on Thursday first presented testimony from Seckinger, the chief financial officer who oversees the bookkeeping at the Parker Law Group, Murdaugh’s former law firm known as PMPED.
Seckinger testified that Murdaugh was forced to resign from the law firm his great-grandfather started because of evidence he stole millions of dollars from his law partners over a number of years. Seckinger testified that for years money had gone missing around Murdaugh, who also had a habit of charging inappropriate personal expenses.
Her testimony offered a glimpse into the inner workings of one of the Lowcountry’s preeminent personal injury firms, where partners were paid a salary of $125,000 a year before receiving what they earned from lawsuit settlements and jury verdicts.
On one occasion, Seckinger testified that Murdaugh billed a client for a private flight to the Florida Keys. But his actions at the close-knit law practice that his family founded, and where he was a well-respected and profitable lawyer, were regularly brushed under the rug after he paid the firm back.
Each December, PMPED tried to clear out all of their cash reserves in order to minimize taxes, according Seckinger, who has known Murdaugh for more than 40 years and worked at the firm since 1999. That meant that partners often would have to loan money back to the firm at the beginning of the new year so that they could cover basic operational expenses.
Attorneys were expected to turn over all fees and expenses received from clients to the firm, and all payments were expected to be made out to the firm, Seckinger testified. Not doing so would be “stealing,” she said.
At first, Seckinger said she was merely suspicious that Murdaugh was trying to hide money from a civil suit where he was a defendant. The suit stemmed from a 2019 fatal boat wreck Paul had been involved in that killed 19-year-old Mallory Beach.
It was well known around the office that Murdaugh was being sued and that the plaintiffs wanted to get a hold of his finances, Seckinger testified.
In May 2021, Seckinger’s said she grew concerned when she learned Murdaugh had not properly deposited money from a settlement, leading her to believe he was either withholding a check made out to the law firm or had the check inappropriately made out to himself.
At the time, Murdaugh claimed that he was just trying to put some money in Maggie’s name and was buying a settlement from Forge, a structured settlement company used by PMPED, as a favor to one of its executives, Michael Gunn.
Gunn, who also testified Thursday, is a principal at Forge, a structured settlement firm regularly employed by Murdaugh’s former law firm. Murdaugh is accused of directing checks to a Bank of America account he controlled that appeared to belong to Forge. It did not.
Seckinger, however, was uncomfortable with Murdaugh using the firm as a vehicle to hide his money.
“That would be wrong and we would not want any part of that,” Seckinger testified Thursday.
But in June, Murdaugh’s paralegal brought another urgent matter to Seckinger’s attention: They were missing a $792,000 fee check from attorney Wilson, who had just completed a case with Murdaugh.
While the firm had received a check for expenses, they had not received the check for fees, which usually arrived at the same time, Seckinger testified.
“At that point in time, no one was saying they thought he was stealing from the firm,” Seckinger said, adding but there was concern that he was “sheltering money from being disclosed.”
On June 7, 2021, hours before Maggie and Paul were shot to death at the family’s remote estate, Seckinger said she “made another run at finding out from Alex if we had any information (about the check).”
“He was cleaning out a filing cabinet outside his office, and he saw me and said, ‘What you need now?’ And he gave me a dirty look, not one I’d ever received from Alex,” she said.
Inside Murdaugh’s office, Seckinger said she told Murdaugh she “had reason to believe he had received those fees himself, and I needed proof that he did not.”
Murdaugh assured her he that the money was simply in a trust account because he was considering how to structure the settlement. The meeting ended abruptly when Murdaugh received a phone call that his father had been moved into hospice care.
Immediately, Seckinger said that she dropped the matter of the missing check and started talking to him as a friend.
“We quit talking about business,” Seckinger said.
Later that night, Murdaugh’s wife and son were found murdered, and the inquiries were put on hold. It also postponed actions in a civil lawsuit over the boat crash, which could have required Murdaugh to disclose financial information.
“Alex was distraught, upset, not in the office,” Seckinger testified. “We didn’t want to harass him when we didn’t think it was really missing and had a year to clear it up, so we didn’t harass him over it.”
By Sept. 2, 2021, Seckinger looked up payments made to Forge in the firm’s ledger.
She found Murdaugh had been writing checks to a Bank of America account for Forge. The account holder was Murdaugh.
The next day, Seckinger said that she and the firm’s partners, including Murdaugh’s brother Randy, convened at a partner’s home and agreed that Murdaugh needed to be terminated. When he confronted, Seckinger said that Murdaugh confessed.
“We made him resign,” Seckinger said.
FRIEND SAYS MURDAUGH ADMITTED TO ‘STEALING’
In reality, Murdaugh had already received $792,000 from his best friend, Wilson.
In early 2021, the two friends worked together on a personal injury case that resulted in $2 million in fees, which Wilson was responsible for distributing to the other attorneys on the case.
Rather than send the money to Murdaugh’s law firm, however, Murdaugh convinced Wilson in March 2021 to write $792,000 in three separate checks to Murdaugh personally. Wilson testified he was told it was a structuring procedure he was unfamiliar with, but that he “trusted his friend” of some 30 years.
“As far as I knew, the firm was aware the the monies had been being paid to him, that he had were being put in annuities,” Wilson testified.
But Murdaugh later wired the money back to Wilson saying he had “messed up” the fee structure and requested Wilson send the full amount to the law firm, even though Murdaugh told him he could not recover $192,000. Wilson said he sent the missing money to Murdaugh’s firm from his own personal account.
Prosecutors believe the whole procedure was meant to throw suspicion off of Murdaugh for stealing funds from his law partners. Even then, Wilson remained unsuspicious of Murdaugh.
He rushed to his friend’s side when his wife and son were killed. It was only when the law firm contacted him about the money that he was told Murdaugh had been stealing from clients and the firm.
On the morning of Sept. 4, 2021, Wilson saw his old friend one final time at Murdaugh’s mother’s home, when he asked him for an explanation.
“He broke down crying,” Wilson remembers. “He told me he had a drug problem, that he was addicted to opioids, that he’d been addicted for 20-plus years or so. And he told me that he had been stealing money.”
“I was so mad, I don’t remember how it ended,” Wilson said. “He sh-- me up. He sh-- a lot of people up.”
Later that day, Wilson said he learned Murdaugh had been shot on the side of the road, in what turned out to be a botched attempt by Murdaugh to have himself shot in an insurance scheme.
“I thought for sure he had tried to kill himself,” Wilson testified.
THE FIGHT OVER MOTIVE
The question of the financial motive may prove to be one of the most important battlegrounds in the Murdaugh trial.
Griffin and Harpootlian have argued that it was impossible Murdaugh would kill his wife of almost 30 years or Paul, “the apple of his eye.”
Rogan Gibson and Will Loving, two friends of Paul’s who considered the Murdaughs a second family both testified Wednesday that they could think of no reason that Murdaugh would commit murder, despite claiming to hear his voice on a video taken from the kennels just minutes before the killings.
If the prosecution is able to get witnesses, including Seckinger, Wilson and Gunn, on the stand, the jury will hear the details of more than 90 different alleged alleged financial crimes across 17 different indictments. They would present what Waters has called an “unbroken chain” of alleged lying and theft as well as the cynical manipulation of friends, clients and family going as far back as 2011.
Murdaugh’s defense attorneys have strenuously objected to the introduction of this evidence. They have argued that introducing unproven allegations would violate evidentiary rules, delaying the trial and unfairly prejudicing the jury.
Griffin, a veteran white-collar defense attorney, has worked to stymie the prosecution’s efforts to introduce evidence. The defense has made it clear that they will not stipulate to allowing the evidence to be admitted and they appear to be willing to take up Newman’s challenge that every financial witness undergo cross-examination before taking the stand.
Griffin has argued that the state’s use of these witnesses violates two key evidentiary rules:
▪ 403a — preventing the inclusion of evidence that might unfairly prejudice or confuse the jury due to creating delays
▪ 404b — preventing the testimony of past bad acts unless it meets a strict set of criteria, among them a proof of a common scheme, intent or narrow definition of motive
In cross-examination of Seckinger, Griffin highlighted just how many people were involved in the law firm’s investigation of Murdaugh’s alleged theft. In many cases, she had no direct knowledge of the thefts, only what had been told to her.
Isn’t that hearsay, Griffin asked Seckinger.
“It’s not hearsay if they said it to me,” Seckinger replied, snappily.
Seckinger has previously testified to her confrontation with Murdaugh at the November 2022 federal trial of former CEO of Palmetto State Bank Russell Laffitte, who was convicted on bank fraud and conspiracy charges related to his handling of Murdaugh’s accounts, often making money transfers from client’s accounts at Murdaugh’s request.
In the small world of Hampton County, Seckinger is also Laffitte’s sister-in-law.
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2023.02.03 05:34 lilredrightngood Am I (28F) being emotionally held hostage by my boyfriend (28M)?
My boyfriend and I have been together for well over a year now. Our relationship was moving very fast...until it wasn't. We moved in together almost immediately. He asked my dad for for his blessing to marry me about six months in. A month or so later, we met with a jeweler to build my engagement ring from family diamonds. Since we were making a custom ring, they said the process could take up to 8 weeks before the ring would be ready to pick up. So in early November, they began work on building the ring. In the meantime, we began making wedding plans because we were hoping to get married soon.
We grew up on opposite sides of the country; I moved to the east coast, where he's been all his life. Since we both live here now, we decided it would make the most sense to get married here. One day in December, I expressed to him that I was sad that so many of my friends and family wouldn't be able to attend the wedding. I realize that nothing can be done about this reality; I was merely expressing how I felt about the situation and was hoping for comfort from him. However, he was very angry that I said this because he felt like I was ruining the plans we'd been working on. We talked about it more over the next few days and, so I thought, we came to some kind of resolution.
Fast forward to early January, and it has been well over eight weeks since my ring started being constructed; I know the ring is finalized, yet, he still hasn't proposed. So a few weeks ago, I asked him about this. He told me that he no longer trusts me because of the conversation we had in December about me feeling sad about so few of my friends and family attending our wedding. He says he needs time to decide if I'm the kind of person he can spend his life with because he'll never be sure if any plans we set can be relied upon. (Again, I never tried to change a plan; I was expressing an emotion).
I'm unsure what to do now. I feel like he's trying to teach me a lesson or make me pay for expressing a feeling he wasn't happy with. It feels like I'm being held emotionally hostage. All the excitement about getting engaged has completely gone away; now I just feel so disappointed and deflated. And frankly, I feel like I can't trust him now because he led me to believe something all this time, and now he's gone back on his word. It doesn't feel like love to me; you don't withhold to prove a point with people you love.
Any advice on what I should do next, or thoughts on the situation, would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR - my boyfriend has halted our engagement/wedding because I told him I was sad that my family couldn't make it to the wedding.
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2023.02.03 05:32 2moms1bun Anyone hear voices in the background while talking on the phone just now?
I’m going to sound like a nut job. I want to preface this by saying that that I’m solidly a skeptic about almost everything people believe in. I live need science and proof!
Anyway, I was talking to my friend in NY (close to Canada). And I was hearing something in the background. He asked what I was watching. I said nothing, that I assumed it was him. He said he was alone in his car.
We laughed it off. Eventually, I could hear it getting louder. Very clearly two people talking. My friend asked me, “What language is that?” I answered that it was Chinese. I’m pretty good with accents and languages bc I was a military brat.
I got kinda weirded out and hung up the call. When we reconnected, no voices. It was just weird. I was wondering if anyone else heard it or maybe it was something happening near him?
I wish I would have recorded it. Ugh
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2023.02.03 05:32 sadgirl0924 Quit almost 2 weeks ago.. withdrawals still kicking my butt?!
I 22f have had EVERY possible side effect of Effexor withdrawal that one can have.
I started 37.5 mg in September when I was feeling extremely unstable and depressed, worked my way up to 150 mg by mid November. I did not feel much of a difference before/during Effexor until I started to get worse later in November, and I spiraled way deeper into the depressive episode I was already in for most of 2022.
Fast forward to now: I am almost 2 weeks on 0 mg Effexor. I feel horrible, almost no improvement from initial withdrawal symptoms. I meet with my psychiatrist weekly and they barely have answers. I can’t sleep, no appetite, fog, imbalanced, worst anxiety and depression symptoms you can imagine, and I can barely sleep. They don’t know what to do, they wanna shove more meds down me, and sometimes do not take me seriously. I know I need a second opinion- we all know how the mental health field looks - I can’t just wait 3+ months. I NEEED help. Just horrified.
I have been on 9 different SSRIs, Effexor was my first SNRI. I have treatment resistant depression, GAD, and PTSD. I have a therapist who I see regularly and have a good relationship with, but not finding therapy helpful. I have been battling this for years. Seen countless doctors/specialists/treatments/etc. NOTHING HELPS. HELP!!! Advice PLEASE, this is disgustingly excruciating.
I feel so hopeless after being knocked down so many times…
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2023.02.03 05:31 TheSurvivorBuff Notes with Dr. Bonnie Jacobs
A huge amount of documents were recently unsealed by Fairfax and made available to the public by request and purchase. This includes Amber's treatment notes with Dr. Bonnie Jacobs from 2011-2014.
It is extremely important to me that this information be made public in a respectful way. Obviously I am not the only person capable of purchasing the court documents but, as of now, it seems I'm the only one who has done so and feel a certain amount of responsibility in sharing them first. Amber moved to admit these notes into evidence in the hopes that it would help people understand Johnny's abuse. I hope in sharing them it will have some positive effect.
Here I'll be sharing some of the more insightful/important entries made by Dr. Jacobs.
When Amber first began dating Johnny:
Decided to date J but needs to keep it secret because he just split from partner. Has children boy + girl. Met in various places but always secret and discrete. I questioned her feelings about hiding. Says she understands. Feels he is protecting her. I asked how he treats her. Bought her a horse (white) because she told him as a child dreamed of having one. Loves to ride her horse – needs to be trained so can’t ride it yet. Not happy spending so much time w/ J’s friends. [Illegible] Has talked to him about his drinking and asked him to slow down. He knows about her parents and childhood. Feels sorry for him because his father was also an abusive alcoholic. (Trauma bonding ??) Has scars from beatings. Dad used belts and chains, also burnt him w/ cigarettes. Scars all over body including head. Spending nights together but hide going to and from each other’s homes. Concerned about paparazzi. Says he doesn’t want her blamed for break-up w/ ex because not true.
Amber starts to realize the drinking and substance abuse is really bad in November 2011:
Continuing to see J but becoming more concerned about his drinking and drug use. Sometimes so bad he needs help getting into bed. Pointed out she is enabling him in similar way she enables parents, minus the money. Has only attended 1 Al-anon meeting. Found it helpful but can’t go often because of schedule. Doesn’t know what to do or how to do it. Advised her to stop picking him up or hiding bottles. Also suggested not seeing him if he is drunk or stoned. Feels she can’t do that but will try. He using most of the time so worried she’ll never see him.
Johnny's anger starts to come up. Bonnie Jacobs becomes afraid he is hitting Amber:
[Amber] Afraid to discuss using + drinking because he gets loud and physical. Questioned if he has hit her. Said he only yells and throws things. Discussed Al-anon issues. How difficult but necessary it is for her to take care of herself.
Amber's fraught relationship with her father a running theme:
Parents coming for Thanksgiving, not happy about it. J will be spending time w/ children. Afraid her father will tell people about her and J. Told him not to say anything but doesn’t know what he might do when drunk.
The connection between her father and Johnny is made early by Dr. Jacobs:
More in depth discussion of J’s behavior and ways it parallels her father. Said J has a loving side and dad not so much. Discussed how only the substance abuser can stop him/herself from drinking and using... Can’t force someone to stop using if they don’t want to, and that addicts can’t stop for someone else. Addicts have to stop for themselves. Extremely tearful. Feels she can help him stop using. Wishes she could get friends, bodyguards, and sister to stop supporting and enabling his addictions. Too many people dependent on him for financial support. Asked why she wants to be w/ someone who is addict and behaves badly. Said she loves him and he loves her. Just doesn’t like “bad” J. Recommended Al-anon again.
Police are almost called the third week of December, 2011:
Continued discussing her relationship w/ J. He was extremely drunk when he came to her apt. She was angry. He began screaming and cursing. Argument became so loud that landlord threatened to call the police. Doesn’t know what to do when he is like that. He left. Didn’t hear from him and got worried. Asked if this is relationship she wants? Again tearful and certain she can help him get clean and sober.
Johnny got sober around Christmas:
Going out of town for holidays. Will be gone a couple of weeks. Looking forward to being w/ J and down time. J better but not sure he will stay sober. Discussed more books, [Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings] and Al-anon
Amber gets back from vacation. January 8th, 2012 is Dr. Jacob's first unambiguous note of physical abuse:
Had a good time on vacation but there were times when she believed she knew what it was like to be her mother. Said she was reluctant to tell me what happened because she “knew what” I would say. Asked her what she thought I would say. Said she heard me saying “leave him on the floor, don’t engage, and to leave.” J very drunk, using, angry. Tried to calm him down. Asked him not to drink or use so much which made him angrier. Admits screaming back at him. He hit her, threw her on floor. She threw pot at him. Told her she dresses like a “whore” and was not to wear low cut dresses, shirts, etc. After he sobered up he’s always apologetic and sweet. Wants sweet J around more Discussed cycles of DV again. Told her no matter what she did or didn’t do that behavior was unacceptable. Told her no matter what she can’t change him.
Dr. Jacobs noting they discussed domestic violence "again" suggests this is not the first time she was made aware Johnny had become physically abusive.
In 2012 Amber really becomes aware of how much those around Johnny enable him. She was struggling with what Al-anon and Dr. Jacobs were telling her, which was to leave Johnny passed out and not help him get to bed. More insight into her father as well:
Talked about how difficult it is for her to not enable J’s behavior. Discussed difference between rage and anger. Father has been in and out of town. Insists on trying to “break” horse the way he’s always done it. A[mber] has a trainer who is doing it gently but father keeps interfering. Doesn’t feel she can stop him. Said she’s going to more Al-anon meetings and talking with friends and parents about J’s substance abuse. Said J gets drugs from friends, bodyguards, sister. Sister is his manager and works to keep him happy so he can financially support family. J supports mother, sister, children and thinks V. A[mber] angry people are willing to get him whatever he wants because he’s a celebrity and he pays them.
In February she struggled with nightmares and became familiar with Johnny's "splitting":
Said she has recurring nightmares about parents and [sister?]. Wakes up in panic. Isn’t sleeping well. Discussed some of material in dreams. Sobbing during session. Said becomes panicked when J takes off for days and she doesn’t hear from him. J’s sister said he does that on occasion. Believes he goes on benders and may get hurt. Pretty sure he’s cheating on her when he does that.
The reason for Johnny skipping out on her is made clear in March. Dr Jacob's tries to get Amber to see the patterns in his behavior:
Heard from J and saw each other. J gets angry and jealous when she is photographed w/ men eating out. Told him they are just friend. Discussed that trying to control is DV behavior.
More insight into her father:
Afraid father is going to slip and tell people about her and J. Father drinks and talks a lot to look like he’s important. Concerned he will tell one of his drinking and drugging buddies and they will tell press. J says they will go public soon. She found some of the ways they sneak around funny but tired of it. J says he’ll drink and use less but doesn’t last long. A[mber] gets fearful later in night because he gets drunker then.
Dr. Jacobs realized her nightmares were connected to Johnny:
Having nightmares about childhood and being chased – trouble sleeping. Has been [exercising?] but still can’t fall or stay asleep. Discussed and processed dreams. Discussed some of this is being triggered by J being similar to dad. Loss of agency. Discussed way to calm herself at night and work on changing dreams by visualizing something happy and pleasant as she falls asleep. Very tearful.
Amber continued struggling with not caretaking for him:
Has gone to some Al-anon meeting and finds them helpful but still feels badly “doing nothing” when J needs to be taken to bed. Struggling with letting him stay on the floor when he passes out. Discussed how no consequences to substance abuse behavior are enabling the user. Explained how what most people consider helping someone only hurts the user because they do not need to take responsibility for actions. A[mber] understands concept better but still struggling with it.
Dr. Jacobs tried to get Amber to understand the cycle of violence and control:
Continued discussing co-dependent behavior and how just checking up on J and parents is Co D. Afraid when she doesn’t hear from him he’s hurt or wants to break up. Told her this is his controlling behavior to keep her hooked in. Says she loves him and doesn’t understand how it’s controlling – discussed more. He becomes enraged because she “nags” him about drinking and drugging. Stays out with his friends and doesn’t get in til early morning. He’s missed a number of work meetings and call times because he’s too messed up to get there. Pointed out keeping track of his appointments is co-dep.
In May, Johnny's jealousy was getting worse, though he seemed to make exception for iO and Rocky, but only
iO and Rocky:
Went out w/ a male friend and J got upset. Has also been getting annoyed if she sees some female friends other than [iO Tillet Wright] or [Rocky Pennington] because she is bi. He’s been increasingly jealous and concerned she will cheat on him. Continually states she won’t but he wants to tell her who she can and can’t see. Discussed abuse includes control again. He frequently engages in name calling.
The sexual abuse is first mentioned on May 24th, 2012:
Said she often feels uncomfortable when J touches her if he’s drunk. Said J has trouble maintaining erection when high. He gets angry and sometimes violent when that happens. Blames her for his failure. Discussed physiological reasons alcoholics and some substance users have sexual problems.
Amber missed a lot of sessions because her car would break down. Dr. Jacobs had insight into Amber's thought process:
Apologized for late cancel. Talked about work and car trouble. Loves her car but it’s extremely problematic. Discussed how often she apologizes for same issue. Said she was sorry again. Laughed. Discussed how apologies are often not for things over which she has control or responsibility. Talked about how she tries to take on responsibility in effort to have control. Fails and feels bad because no matter how hard she tries to make herself responsible she’s not. Blames herself for a lot that isn’t about her.
Johnny and her father start drinking together in June:
Dad and J drinking buddies. Likes when mom and sister are there. Has been very busy. Paparazzi very distressing. Follow her around. Still is hiding w/ J at her place and his. Feels lonely when not w/ others.
(This note was made on June 28th. Previous to reading these, I'd pieced together Johnny was off the wagon and drinking with Amber's father because of a picture a fan posted with Johnny at a bar on June 14th. Amber's dad is in the background. Picture here
. Amber's reports are truly very consistent with independent evidence.)
The way in which Johnny made Amber feel responsible for his substance abuse really starts to manifest in the second half of 2012. From August 7th:
Not feeling well. Rough time w/ J. Disappeared. Came late. A[mber] was worried. Argued about who she was seeing. Thinks she is cheating. She denied but he was in a rage. He threw things. Glass flew near her head. Asked if she was going to Al-anon meetings. Said she didn’t have time but wanted to. Still can’t bring herself to tell him to go home or not come over if he is drunk/drugged. Fears he will be hurt. Asked what about her feelings? Told her he is escalating and not about her. Feels she should be able to do something.
Dr. Jacobs tried to get Amber to see the extent of Johnny's controlling behavior:
Having nightmares again. Very tearful. Afraid of breaking up w/ J. Feels he will stop using and drinking if she can help him feel better about himself. Still not going public because he is protecting her. [I] Ask if she believes that. Said she is afraid of bad publicity. Discussed cycle of DV and control is a sign.
Amber wanted to get better at handling Johnny's splitting:
Talked to J but he is often unresponsive. Scares her when she doesn’t hear from him. Reminded her if something happened to him she would know from media. Wants to do more work on codependency. Talked through some co-dep behaviors.
Reports of sexual violence return on September 25th:
Extremely fatigued. Fighting w/ J again. He violent. Throwing things. Some hit her. She screaming back. Started w/ he was upset at clothes. Ripped her nightgown threw her on bed. Tried to have sex but couldn’t get erection. Became more angry. He passed out.
In the aftermath Johnny promised to get sober. From October 2nd:
J being nice. Sorry for fight. Discussed cycle of abuse (Honeymoon stage). J promised he would get clean
From October 9th:
J not using since fight. Does better when they are together. Sure she can help him stay clean. Had more discussion about addiction. Went over it not being caused by her. His use is long term before they even met. Feels responsible even though isn’t logical. Why can’t she help more?
Johnny told Amber more about his abusive childhood:
J’s mother at house. Very demanding and nasty. J’s father dead. Both abusive when J was young. Father worse than mother.
(Probably just a result of Dr. Jacob's quickly writing notes, but it is Johnny's stepfather who passed away, not biological father.)
More insight into Amber's childhood:
Discussed her mother’s [role] in father’s abuse. He abused all of them but she allowed it by staying. Very tearful.
Dr. Jacobs remained concerned about Johnny exerting so much control over Amber through hiding the relationship, but Amber continued to see it from Johnny's perspective:
Still claims J thinks it’s best to wait. Makes it a game to hide. A[mber] buying into it.
At the end of October, Johnny was hanging out with Marilyn Manson. Amber really didn't care for him:
J’s friends bad influence. A[mber] doesn’t like MM. Talks badly about women, does a lot of drugs.
Amber's family planned on coming for Christmas. She was worried about Johnny spending time with her father. Sexual violence again brought up:
Feeling stress about holidays and shoot. Parents coming for X-mas. Always worried about Dad drinking and causing problems. Discussed Al-anon, ways to deal w/ his drinking – Don’t engage. Has trouble doing that when he verbally attacks sister and mother. J winds up drinking w/ dad. Father misogynist – says horrible things about how women should be treated to J. Sometimes J becomes verbally and sexually abusive after spending time w/ father. Has thrown her on bed and had “angry sex.” If he’s drunk can’t perform and gets angrier. Blames her for impotence. She feels responsible. Discussed addicts not taking responsibility for their actions. Blaming others so they don’t need to own their behavior.
From November 28th:
Continued discussing addict behavior. That she didn’t cause and therefore can’t fix the problem. Talked about going to couples therapy. J says he has a psychiatrist and maybe they can see him. A doesn’t think he sees the psychiatrist very often. Not sure if he gets pills from him. Thinks psychiatrist is just another “yes man” because J is rich and famous.
(Johnny was addicted to Roxicodone and Klonopin at this point. Safe to say Amber's concern over his psychiatrist was correct. That's the guy supplying him with the "pills" Johnny always mentions to Paul Bettany.)
The last entry from 2012, on December 20th:
J got drunk and passed out on couch. Left him there and went to bed. Felt proud of herself for not trying to make it okay for him but bad at the same time. Discussed change is difficult. Nothing changes if she always does the same thing. No consequences means nothing changes.
Amber didn't see Dr. Jacobs while she was in Europe for her shoot. The next session was March 7th, one day before the "disco bloodbath" fight:
J’s drinking and drugging again. Went to Rolling Stones concert and didn’t ask her. Felt very hurt that he would leave her out knowing she loves the Stones. Kept asking why he would do that. Feels uncared for and unloved when he does those things. Feels punished for complaining about his using. Discussed addiction and DV, emotional abuse and control. Says she understands codependency but is having trouble getting the [illegible] in her heart. Sure she can change him.
After going public, Johnny wouldn't let her address the rumors that she ended his marriage with Vanessa ("the homewrecker shit you never let me fight,"
as Amber put it in February 2016):
People are saying vicious things about her. Hurt her feelings because they don’t know her. Discussed putting up better boundaries and ignoring people or defending herself. J says ignore it but she wants people to know the truth. Studios protect J but not her. Word of J’s drunkenness and drugs hardly ever make tabloids. No one knows how many times he has thrown things at her and other people or shown up late to call times because of drugs and alcohol.
From March 18th:
Mom telling her to not be so hard on J to go along more. Got angry w/ her because of what happened since mom did that w/ dad. Asked why she was with J given his behavior. Says she loves him and feels if things were more stable between them he would get better. Checked to determine if abuse was ever directed at children. A[mber] said not that she ever saw.
Police were called around this time:
he threw her against a wall and threatened to kill her while they were at her apt. Landlord called police but told them everything was fine. Pointed out her behavior was paralleling her mom’s and she can’t “fix” J.
Johnny was back in the "Honeymoon" phase after threatening to kill her:
J being nice and loving again. Sorry he hurt her. A[mber] acknowledges she screamed back and put him down. Doesn’t know what to do when he is out of control. Asked if she could leave, go someplace safe. Said she could go to a friend. Again asked why she wants to be w/ him. What does she love about him? Made some statements about “the good J.” Pointed out the bad one comes w/ the good one.
In the aftermath of the "Documentary/Painting" incident on March 22nd, Amber had a panic attack on March 25th:
Had a panic attack but was able to use relaxation techniques to calm herself down.
From April 1st:
Has been reading a lot about alcoholism, abuse and childhood trauma... knowing/understanding only go so far. Feels if she can understand it will be easier to deal with her stuff and J. Informed her no amount of understanding makes behavior “ok.” Great to understand but people have to be held accountable for their behavior.
J drinking and using again. Got nasty and grabbed her [this word is either "arm" or "again"]. Passed out in living room and she left him there. Discussed possibly moving in w/ him and what that would mean for her safety. Friend [iO Tillet Wright] is around more when she’s at J’s. Expressed concern re: his blackouts and behavior. A[mber] thinks he will be better when they live together.
Had fun on birthday but J and his friends got drunk. He’s using more. She stays away when they are using and he gets angry. Always sorry next day. Wants him to see therapist more often. He says he will.
From May 8th, only a few days before Johnny would text Stephen Deuters that he cut himself badly and needed stitches:
She can’t make J stop. J has been late and missing work because of drinking and drugs. People, some friends angry about his behavior. Unprofessional. Gets so angry w/ self he burns his skin w/ cigarettes. Tried to get him to stop but he gets angrier. Loves him and wants to help him.
A few days later:
Having trouble w/ sleeping. Had panic attack. Discussed events leading up to panic. Reminded her if she can talk she has to be breathing. J jealous about her filming w/ other men. Assures him she’s faithful but he’s unreasonable. Doesn’t want her to dress in low cut or tight fitting clothes. Feeling very pressured.
Amber went out of town with Johnny to Hicksville at the end of May, then on to his press tour for The Lone Ranger. She didn't check back in with Dr. Jacobs until August 1st, soon after getting back from Europe:
Really wanted to talk over past months but was busy w/ her work, J’s work and appearances. Really happy to be home but leaving again soon. Feels better staying at J’s compound because security doesn’t allow paparazzi and fans to get in. Friend [iO Tillet Wright] is living in one of the houses because [he] is broke. Wishes there were not so many other people around – J’s “friends.” J’s using is very bad. She has been yelling at him about drugs and alcohol. He falling down, passing out, and verbal abuse. She screamed at him about public behavior like kissing [Jimmy Kimmel] on TV. Arguments are more frequent and hurting himself and her. Told him she would leave if he didn’t stop and get help. She took it back after he promised he would. I told her to stop hiding and emptying bottles as it doesn’t help and could make things worse.
Johnny was fresh out of rehab around this time:
Still arguing but getting a little better. J has been drinking less. Has not blacked out or gotten violent in past few days. Reminded her he has not committed to sobriety and nothing change[s] until he is. She sure he is willing to get better. Having trouble w/ studio because of his actions. She and his sister trying to [illegible] w/ him. A[mber] can’t stand that his “friends” hang out and want to party. Feels they use J.
From August 20th:
Things have been quieter at home but always a little on edge. Discussed not knowing when the next shoe might drop so she is hypervigilant. Recommended “Co-Dependent no more” and “Walking on eggshells.” I questioned decision to move in w/ J. Said she thinks it will get better. He’s not drinking as much.
Amber spent most of the rest of the year in London, not going back to see Dr. Jacobs until January 7th, 2014:
Getting engaged. Holidays ok but J using again. Spent time w/ parents, sister and bf. Saw friends. Getting house ready to move in. Wants to have engagement party but very busy and doesn’t know how to juggle everything. Very stressed. [Rocky] said she’ll help with party. J busy w/ filming and movie. Has been passing out a lot. Fearful he will OD and/or become nasty. Asked if she’s going to Al-anon? Said sometimes but no time. Told to make time. Fears she is failing because can’t get J to be sober.
From January 16th:
Dad and J drinking buddies. Upset J is using. Banned father from their room at hotel. [Rocky] helping with food and venue for [engagement] party. Worried everything won’t get done in time. Did relax in office. Says she is trying to do it at home but it’s hard. [Illegible] helps but not enough. I questioned her willingness to marry J. Said she can help him. Asked how well mom was able to help dad. Said it was different because mom is addict too.
Four days later:
Life still stressful. Work stuff, house and party. J’s working – music and film. He’s showing up late to work. A[mber] tries to get him to not use night before work. Works sometimes. [Rocky] doing good job trying to find venue for party. Very attached and grateful to [Rocky]. Have each other’s backs.
From January 23rd:
Has been exercising for stress. Helps but not enough. Trouble sleeping. Nightmares. Discussed dream content. J being verbally aggressive. Gets angry if no alcohol. A[mber] admits to dumping some. Discussed not doing that. He can always get more and she’s being [codependent]. [Illegible] to go to Al-anon. Will do so before next session. Helps to talk to [iO Tillet Wright] about Al-anon issues.
One week later:
Not sleeping well or enough. Very tired and needs to look good for camera. J’s sistemgr causing problems. Sister helps J get drugs and alcohol. A[mber] feels too many people support his using. Wants to do something about that but not sure what.
Amber saw Dr. Jacobs on February 3rd, only a few hours before a fight with Johnny would blow up into a multi-day affair across the 4th and 5th:
Discussed pre-nup. J doesn’t want one because he says only way one of them leaving marriage is death. I asked if she would sign one. She said yes she has no prob with it. Finds what J said funny and endearing. Asked, given his history, if maybe it’s a little scary. Denied being afraid.
From February 12th:
J got drunk. Fell and broke table. Left him there passed out. Found him in bed next AM. Doesn’t know if he got there himself or bodyguards helped. Hard to use Al-anon techniques when so many other people are involved in caretaking him.
The first week of March:
Very anxious... Asked if having second thoughts about marriage. She said yes but feels she can help J and will have more say over things once they are married. Told her she set [precedent] for [illegible] behavior and other’s behavior so likely won’t change. Became tearful and repeated that she loves him.
Later in March is the first mention of Johnny's jealousy over James Franco:
Stated she leaves to shoot movie in a couple of days. Can’t come to therapy for a while. Re-stated can call if needs to. Worried about part and J’s feelings about her working love scenes with [James Franco.] Told him nothing to worry about. Feels he is going to cause problems on set. He will visit but not going to be there most of the time. Amber went back to Dr. Jacobs on May 15th, nine days before she would board their flight from Boston to Los Angeles:
Someone posted photo of her w/ JF and J got angry. Had argument. Screaming. Crying. He threatened to break up she assured him nothing was going on. J threw things at her. She left was scared. Went to friend’s house. J cut and burned self. Was drunk yelling he was worthless and she didn’t love him. Doesn’t know what to do when he self mutilates. Told her to call an ambulance. Said she can’t do that because press will get hold of it. Same reason she doesn’t call police when they fight. Also knows cops won’t do anything because he’s a celebrity.
Amber went to see Dr. Jacobs on May 23rd, only hours before she would receive a phone call from Johnny that would set her back on edge:
Talked to J about how scary his behavior was. He apologized. On his best behavior right now. Again discussed cycle of DV.
From a text exchange Amber had with Johnny's sister Christi on May 25th, 2014, in the aftermath of the flight in which Johnny kicked her:
CD: How have you been before this?
AH: Great, perfect, heaven until he decides to use. And the drug abuse, all prescription meds, and drinking has been slowly climbing every day. And we've been fine except when there's any issue or hiccup or problem. Then shit hits the fan because he doesn't deal with it as Johnny, he deals with it as a totally different person. A demon. It was the worst I've ever seen him. I think it's because he's now taking Adderall on top of all the other shit, which is the equivalent to consuming a pharmaceutical speedball every day. He will die if he continues to call being sober just not drinking. And his medicine kit includes tons of new drugs. He's going to kill himself Christi.
Amber did not go back to see Dr. Jacobs until well into the summer of 2014. From August 4th:
Decided on wedding date have a lot to do. Looking at gowns. J left planning to her. Got planner. [Rocky] helping. Discussed feelings re: marriage and substance use. Also discussed issues of DV in relationship. Stated J better and not acting out physically. Believes she can manage problems. Suggested getting impartial couple’s therapist. J not up for that. Wants to use someone he knows if anyone.
Three days later was the last appointment Amber would have with Dr. Jacobs until 2019:
Seems wrapped up in idea of fantasy wedding not realities of relationship problems. Advised problems don’t get better, if anything get worse. Sure things will get better once they are actually married because she will have more authority in house. Told her that wasn’t realistic.
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2023.02.03 05:28 audgie137 Does tolerance change over time?
Throughout NovembeDecember I was taking ~1g doses pretty frequently—typically once per weekend. Always felt absolutely fantastic—strong euphoria and body buzz and very mild visuals. Never had a single issue with tolerance, never had to increase dose.
2 out of my last 3 weekend sessions have been total duds. In the case of the two “dud” sessions, I had taken a different strain than my usual. I feel a bit of a come-up then get nothing but mildly distorted visuals, a weird lack of focus, mental discomfort/disconnection, and zero euphoria.
Given I was taking shrooms every week for two months with no problem, I’m wondering if the new strain is bad/weak, or if it just took a couple of months for me to start experiencing tolerance issues.
Thoughts on whether my experiences sound like they’re related to tolerance?? Has anyone experienced a delayed tolerance issue??
Or could it be that this new strain just sucks, and if it’s worth a try to go back to the old one??
Not on any meds, always take via lemon tek on an empty stomach. I have no interest in increasing the dose beyond 1.5g. Thanks for any thoughts!
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2023.02.03 05:22 latina_98x I’m truely scared I’m gonna be single again
So I’ve had hsv since 2020 tbh before I had it I had no problems with being single until I got it I felt so alone didn’t get my first serious relationship till November last year met him off positive single’s surprisingly since the site is ghost town it’s only been 3 months & the honeymoon stage has ended I felt like he got too comfortable or he has gotten sick of me & it’s going to come to an end anytime soon I don’t want to go back to being single anytime soon I don’t want to go back to disclosures back to feeling alone I’m not depressed anymore that I have hsv & I’m not scared to disclose like I was when I was first diagnosed & in my first year but I just don’t want to go back to that life if I didn’t have this I bet I wouldn’t complain about being single because I wouldn’t have to disclose and feel like I’m missing out if I get rejected etc I will always miss my life before hsv life the only time I haven’t thought how my life was before it was when getting into a relationship with someone who has it too I find it so unfair that people with permanent stds dating life has to change yes some people can look past it to be with you but your life will never be like what it used to be I miss the times I’d thrush instead of having outbreaks I’ve had this for almost 3 years being bisexual I’ve only did stuff with a girl who had it too since my diagnosis but never disclosed with a female yet because I felt like they care more than guys I wish if they aren’t gonna make a cure atleast something for outbreaks and transmission
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2023.02.03 05:15 ItsFelixMcCoy I might have finally come to terms with and accepted that my ex-girlfriend was verbally abusive. (or was she?)
I hope this doesn't go against the rules of the subreddit, but I kind of need somewhere to vent, despite the notion that I may be downvoted. Do I need advice or validation? I don't know, but it is something I think I need to get off my chest. And, well, advice won't do me a lot of good because I left her long ago.
Rewind to August 2020. The pandemic has been ravaging the world and I'm looking for something to do. I play Minecraft a ton, and I'm feeling kind of lonely, so I post on Xbox Live to find a girlfriend. That's where I meet her... I'll call her Daisy for privacy reasons.
Me and Daisy joined a voice chat and talked for a while, getting to know each other, etc. and we played some Minecraft. I gave her my Discord tag, and she added me, and we used that to text and call each other. She made a survival world on Minecraft, and we hit it off. Days and weeks pass, we get rich on diamonds and netherite (if you play you'll probably know what I'm talking about), we build a mansion together... so far, everything was great. Eventually, I did come to love her, and we confessed our feelings to each other over text. We were now boyfriend and girlfriend. We laughed together, sent memes, horsed around, had some fantasies, and the relationship went pretty smoothly. She even gifted me a month of free Nitro (a premium service on Discord). Well, it went smoothly for a while.
Over time, things started to change. Daisy started showing a bit of a darker side. Not as in evil, but eventually, she was confessing to me about her depression, self harm, suicidal tendencies, how she felt at home, etc. I felt very sorry that she felt that way, and I tried to comfort her and tried telling her to get therapy, but she said therapists didn't work. I never had depression or harmed myself, but I tried my best, and tried actually encouraging her and not saying stuff like "just be happy" or other form of toxic positivity. I loved her and I didn't want her to be sad. We kept passing the time with more games and conversations, stuff we usually talk about. But the more time that went by, the more depressed Daisy was, and each morning, I dreaded a message from her telling me that she cut herself again. I didn't want her to feel so hurt, but I also kind of got tired of it. And yes, at that point, I did kind of start to lean towards to the toxic positivity side, and I started being an asshole to her. I started being a bit controlling, but I still felt love for her. I feel guilty about it now, and I haven't an excuse for that.
It's now around November-December 2020. I kept trying to get to Daisy, but I kept failing. I started to feel sad, and this was when I thought of leaving her, but I ignored the thought, because I didn't want to hurt her even further. One day, she told me she wanted to lay out in the street, and I got really worried. I tried convincing her otherwise, but she did it, or so I thought. There was about a month's silence after that. I thought she died, and I did feel somber, but eventually, I started flirting with another girl whom I met afterwards. Things didn't go that well with her, though we never dated. One day, when I'm playing another Minecraft survival world with a friend of mine, I see a message in Discord. It's Daisy. She's alive, and it turned out, she was in a psych ward and didn't get the opportunity to tell me until now. I felt guilty because I wondered if I cheated. Eventually, I go back to being Daisy's boyfriend. I get vibes that she might be manipulating or gaslighting me, but when I brought up my concerns, I was dismissed and yelled at.
January 2021... stuff happened. A lot of stuff. We argued a lot. I barely even remember some of it, but I'll say what I remember. One day, I confessed to Daisy that I wanted to break up with her, but still remain friends, because I didn't feel comfortable with continuing the relationship. She said to me "maybe I should kms then". I asked her why, and she replied "because you would feel sad, right?". I did tell her previously that I would feel sad if she killed herself. I changed my mind and stayed, until the next day, where I broke up with her. We were still friends, however, it was a war of blocking and unblocking. I got angry with her and left, only for me, on my own terms, to crawl back. Almost the entirety of our friendship after the break-up, it was arguments. And I had to endure her berating me, mostly over video games. But, constantly berating me, mocking me for my skill (which I did have a lack of tbh), even the things I built... I stopped visiting one of my Minecraft creative worlds because of that. Every time I told her how I felt when she mocked me, and told her stop, and saying sorry, she laughed and asked me why I couldn't take a joke. Strange stuff happened in a game of survival Minecraft, but when I told her, she said I was tripping. She asked me if I wanted to play games with her, and usually I said yes because I was afraid of hurting her feelings if I said no, even if I didn't really want to. The times I said I didn't want to though, I was asked why and she said I hated her and stuff. I was told in calls that I was a manipulator, that I lied about my mother having cancer (I never said anything about my mother having cancer, and she never did, so I was super confused). And then when she figures out I don't actually want to play games with her and I'm just doing it anyway, she says I'm manipulative...
It was nuts, man. This whole thing with Daisy started out really well, but it went downhill after some months. What happened? Was I immature? Was it her? Me? Maybe I should get over it and stop whining to strangers on the internet. But, it took me a very long time to finally grow a spine and leave her for good. Daisy is now blocked and I do not intend to contact her ever again. I just want to know who is in the wrong...
submitted by ItsFelixMcCoy
to abusesurvivors [link] [comments]
2023.02.03 05:12 Alive-Visual-3726 Trans temp sensor issues, help
Hey guys I need some help. I’ve got a 04 3500 with 48re transmission, it’s got 261,500 miles on the clock. My issue is the trans temp gage will randomly go from 100-160° to 300 and the truck will kick out of OD, and than back to normal. I know the trans is not getting that hot.
I’ve cleaned and tightened battery terminals, cleaned that one main connector on the drive side by the PRNDL lever. I’ve looked for rubbed through wires on the harness and checked the ground strap to no avail.
This problem is driving me nuts, any help would be great!
submitted by Alive-Visual-3726
to Cummins [link] [comments]
2023.02.03 05:11 erthwrmbby Cosmetology school biased, out of pocket debt in collections: what are my rights?
I started cosmetology school in November 2019. Everything was fine until March 2020, we went online for 3 months, came back in June. When we were in-person again, the owner of the school gave everyone the option to either choose mannequin work if we were uncomfortable working on clients OR client work. When every single person chose client work he revoked the offer and said we ALL had to take clients. (i get that the school has to make money but it left a bad taste in my mouth.) At this time I witnessed this man WATERING DOWN THE HAND SOAPS TO SAVE ON SOAP. DURING THE HEIGHT OF THE PANDEMIC. Not to mention the dead cockroach that had been out in the open on the floor for almost 5 months (yet he insisted it was 'Hospital Clean' in the salon and he was 'paying for a cleaning crew to come in once a week') I was VERY vocal about the cleanliness and conditions of the salon and how they were not following the CDC guidelines at the time. I even submitted an anonymous report to state board. After my anonymous report however, I and two other students who were also vocal about how dirty it was, were stopped in the break room by the owner, his wife, and her sister (all employees). It was then that he verbally and physically intimidated us, i don't remember exactly what was said but the gist was very much 'things are fine, if you don't like it you don't have to be here, stay in your lane' kind of thing. After that I laid low and did my best to get out of there. Here's where I really need advice/to know my rights: I was on a monthly payment plan, paying out of pocket on what I owed the school. I had a remaining balance when I graduated (Nov 2020) meaning I have to pay that balance before I can get my license. The financial aide person at the time was having some personal/work issues and never set up a payment plan with me following my graduation. I called everyday, multiple times a day, texted her PERSONAL cell phone number and got absolutely nowhere. Moved states (had no other choice) and was still trying but eventually gave up (Jan 2021). In april 2021 I get a letter saying the school is sending my debt to collections! I didn't have the means to pay Anything at that time and I already felt hopeless so I let it happen. Fast Forward to Jan 2023 (this week) my partner finally was able to get ahold of someone and I finally got some email answers. My debt to the school was sold to collections (fine, i can handle that because they'll answer the phone to take my money.) Now technically I don't owe the school anymore? I owe the collection agency? Am I able to get the school to release my hours so I can get licensed??????? please help if you know anything about law and cosmetology
submitted by erthwrmbby
to legaladvice [link] [comments]