How many gallons is 25 liters
2014.11.13 05:53 RoonilWazilbob Cozy Places
"Cosy", or the American spelling "Cozy", means to give a feeling of comfort, warmth, and relaxation. /CozyPlaces is an inclusive and positive community that features cozy places from all around the world of all shapes, sizes, and price ranges.
2009.02.09 04:42 Personal Finance
Learn about budgeting, saving, getting out of debt, credit, investing, and retirement planning. Join our community, read the PF Wiki, and get on top of your finances!
2017.07.26 04:39 Qazerowl EverybodyAMod: where everybody is a mod
There is no limit to the number of moderators a single subreddit can have. Let's see how true that is.
2023.02.03 05:21 Dizzysnowfire 27 [F4M] Ontario/Canada This week has not been great but maybe someone on here to help make it better and make it more bearable?
My name is Vicky. I am currently a student at the University of Waterloo and studying Social Development Studies (It's an undergraduate program, that studies multiple different social sciences courses). I live in Ontario, Canada and have been for 14 years but I'm originally from the USA(I am dual citizen and yes, I technically moved my own but I went from my mom to my dad's). I will say that probably around next spring/summer I will be moving somewhere else in Canada for graduate school. I have puppy that is being trained to be my service dog.
Do you have any pets? If so what kind?
My interests are mental health, helping pople, animals, some video games and some anime (just a note I am not a major gamer or watch too many anime). Some of my hobbies are plying with my Nintendo switch and when I am able to, go horseback riding.
What are some of your hobbies?
I am an INFJ and 5w6 if anyone is curious or cares about personality types.
I am 5'4", about 190lbs, half Asian and half white. I have buzz cut type hair cut. I have brown eyes.
I will say as of right now I am want to take things slow and get to know each other before jumping head first into a relationship.
I want to be a clinical psychologist once I am all finished my schooling (I have one more year left of undergrad!)
Preferably in USA timezones but I'm open to other timezones
25-36 age range (**please do not be too younger or older than this range**)
In school or in career
Understanding of people who have disabilities and chronic illnesses
Also an animal lover
If you read this whole thing, then please answer these following things:
Where are you from?
How old are you?
What are you currently doing with your life?
What are you looking for in a person?
What are you looking for when responding to this post?
(Hint: I will only really respond to those who have read everything correctly)
submitted by Dizzysnowfire
to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
2023.02.03 05:21 Unable-Attention-559 Leaving a contract early
So I’ve been traveling for 2 years and have never had a bad assignment until this one. I’ve been trying to tough it out but I just can’t. It’s unsafe and it’s made me miserable. I text my recruiter and he was less than helpful and tried to guilt trip/scare me to stay. He allegedly submitted me to a couple other assignments and then said they denied my profile because I didn’t have enough experience. So I went to another company and the same day I had a contract with the hospital that allegedly said I didn’t have experience. So my question is- how do I quit this assignment? I’ve been there 6 weeks and I do not know who my manager is. I have one persons email who is “my point of contact” but she literally has ignored all my emails. Do I tell the hospital? So I tell my recruiter? I was planning on giving 2 weeks but I don’t think I can stand another shift in that hospital.
submitted by Unable-Attention-559
to TravelNursing [link] [comments]
2023.02.03 05:21 ImeeLiciousTea Rookie/ sub teaching mistakes
Hey Teachers, early in your career, how many of you made mistakes of getting too hard on your students because of wanting to (naively erroneously) “make a difference” for them?
One such example, today I taught / subbed for ESL Latino adolescents in the so called inner city neighborhood where I grew up… they pretended they spoke no English just hard enough to not listen to instructions like, “don’t play catch in here… “ When their permanent ICR / in-class support ESL teacher came in they were perfectly capable of listening to her and moving and working as directed. I even asked her if I was speaking too complex for them. She said “No a few of them can usually translate for the others.”
Like, y’all they really would look at me blankly like I was saying “I am Groot” or something. And they stood still as stones.
When I called them on it, someone knocked into my chair (“accident”? A**hole fourteen year old being deliberate? We shall never know…) and my giant water bottle fell to the floor and an apple almost hit me in the face — which under different circumstances I’d find kinda funny — and everyone laughed in this very Lord Of The Flies way. I’ve been “clowned” during punishments before so I know this is expected. I did the same thing growing up. We’re under a lot of pressure out here!
so the spite in it all “triggered” me, so to speak, in that I gave the entire class lunch detention because only a handful of them were not Hispanic and the only people “in trouble” would be like twenty young Latino/as? And I in no way wanted to make it look like targeting any specific group/ identity/ etc… (Note I am a Spanish Filipino who grew up there and became prosperous in a major metro city as an adult and came back to teaching bcuz corporate life made me hate my soul. Lol…)
Basically I’m asking: am I commonplace or “weird”? Am I expecting too much from them, (besides respect) cuz I was able to “make it out”? Was I letting my emotions show too much? Am I doin too much as a sub? Overstepping. (Also note my class lunch detentions have been praised and teachers have “thanked me” in the past.)
Sorry for the length. Pls. Help. Lol. ✌🏼
submitted by ImeeLiciousTea
to Teachers [link] [comments]
2023.02.03 05:21 mostintelligentrat couch extension
so for the last few weeks or so ive been having this problem of this random extension called Couch keep appearing on my google chrome. the icon is a black cog wheel. no matter how many times ive removed it it keeps coming back. it makes my chrome crash randomly and frequently and also seems to remove my adblock. i tried switching browsers to opera gx and it followed me there too. i can't get find any information about it either. if anyone knows anything, Please Help for the love of god
submitted by mostintelligentrat
to techsupport [link] [comments]
2023.02.03 05:21 Cartoon_Trash_ A thought...
Actually, a few thoughts
First thought-- Of the people posting "Are the allos ok?" memes, how many of them are anonymous aphobes using the meme as an excuse to post sexually explicit content just to troll us? How would we be able to tell, or stop them?
Second thought-- "Are the allos ok?" memes rub me the wrong way in general. While I used to really like them, now I find them hypocritical.
First, shaming allos for being horny is no better than them shaming us for being ace.
Second, many aces might do things that would get turned around and used in an "Are the allos ok?" meme. You don't have to experience sexual attraction to make a shitpost about which pasta is the most fuckable.
Which brings me to third-- "are the allos ok" doesn't currently function in this community the way "are the straights ok" functions in the wider queer community.
There's social pressure (including on aces) to be straight, get married, and have kids, and people do and believe weird things because of those pressures. Some "are the straights ok?" content-- even though it's not explicitly sexual-- would also qualify as "are the allos ok?" content. I think the only difference is that the latter can include desperate attempts by queer people to adhere to amatonormativity, despite having overcome heteronormativity.
However, when people do weird sexual things, it's usually going against societal expectations, not an attempt to adhere to them. Therefore, if what they're doing is basically harmless, ridiculing them seems less deserved, at least to me-- I want to see if anyone else agrees or if I'm off-base.
Conclusion based on these two realizations-- Should "Are the allos ok?" memes be encouraged here? Should we be careful to only include examples of desperate amatonormativity, and not "too horny on main" shock content?
Has this conversation already been had, and I'm late to the party? That's entirely possible as well...
submitted by Cartoon_Trash_
to aaaaaaacccccccce [link] [comments]
2023.02.03 05:20 toasterbbang It’s been over 10 business days and I still haven’t gotten my refund!! wsid?
On Jan. 18, I attempted to purchase some crypto, and for whatever reason it was rejected. They wouldn’t even tell me why, which I found odd. Additionally, the merchant had also pulled the funds from the bank which meant I would need to go through that processing time of 2-10 business days because they had technically executed a refund. So not only did these dumb arses fail in communication but also on the customer care side. Why would you first take the money only to reject someone, isn’t that what the whole kyc is for?? Anyways, I reached out the Ramp (the merchant) and they informed me that they had processed the refund and it was now out of their hands and the banks responsibility. So I reached out for the first of 4 times to the bank. The first time I asked them when it would likely be processed? And they told me 2-10 business days. So I waited a few business days and I reached out again why it was taking so long? I mean other times I’ve gotten a refund it didn’t actually take the full 10 business days. Also I will add that the attempted purchase amount was $700, and some urgent circumstances required me to need access to those funds. So now the 2nd and 3rd time I reached out was around business day 5 and business day 8. Only to get the same message, “oh it hasn’t been the 10 business days yet but rest assured that your refund should be in your account within that time frame”. So I waited. And the 10th business day passed, and there was nothing. So I reached out again, and they’ve been “working on it” for nnearly a day now with no update on the situation. I’ve literally had to reach out to them several times just to hear anything from them. The last message I got was that they had escalated for the 3rd time now (how many levels of freaking escalation is there ? ) and their “special” team was on it. 4 hours have passed since then so I sarcastically said, we’ll idk about you but that special team of yours doesn’t seem so special if they couldn’t have figured it out by now. Crickets for the last hour.
So this bank is a mobile bank called Albert. What is it I can do? And is there any legal routes I might have to go down with this?
submitted by toasterbbang
to WhatShouldIDo [link] [comments]
2023.02.03 05:20 MrsWG353 I feel I screwed up
We adopted our latest dog in May. She is a 1.5-2 yo mixed breed from a shelter in TX. We knew she was heartworm positive and had had pups 3-4 months prior. She was taken to the shelter once she weaned the pups. We are at least her 3rd owners in her short life.
We literally picked her up from traveling 2 days with 25 other dogs from TX. We knew the decompression rules. She definitely had a transition and was not in great physical condition when we got her. Our first priority was to start the heartworm treatment and get her used to our home. Considering what she had been through, she did remarkably well. The heartworm treatment is such a process and she got traumatized when she got her 1st treatment because she thought she was being dumped again. It was horrible. She got out of her leash, there was traffic, it was bad. She luckily didn't get hit.
It's about a 3-4 month process to go through treatment, they are on steroids, they can't exercise, etc. She had digestive upset, low energy, drank so much water, had accidents, general malaise). It was rough.
She is finally heartworm free! But our vet said she had to have one final test in May or June to get the all clear to really exercise.
I haven't taken her to obedience class since she's gone through all this. I guess now would be okay. What I wasn't prepared for was how quickly she would regain her energy and strength.
She is only 45-50 lbs, but she is POWERFUL (powerful chest)! DNA test shows lab & boxer (50%), APBT (only 15%), Chow, GSD, Cocker Spaniel, ACD and Miniature poodle!). She is mostly big strong athletic dogs with energy to burn. She already knows sit and had exquisite recall. You don't even have to say , sit when giving a treat. She does it automatically. We never even taught her.
What I struggle with now is she went from being weak and slower on walks to this powerful sometimes pulling or lunging dog who is occasionally reactive to other dogs. Other times she doesn't care. She is on a harness. I have been trying to stop when she pulls, call her to me and give her a treat when she comes to me. I try to give a treat when she ignores dogs too it praise her. She really is food motivated and responds well to positive reinforcement. However, I have another dog I am usually walking and she is senior and it's really hard doing that at the same time.
Should I take her to a class with other dogs or should I get a trainer to address the pulling, growling and lunging at times with other dogs? Replicate the situation with her on walks with the trainer?
When she first started recovering, she actually pulled me over and I bruised my hip because she had never been able to do that before. She shocked me. The leash got out of my hands because she wanted to see another dog (in friendly way). But, that is not okay. Luckily, that dog was fine, didn't react and was leashed. Once she almost pulled me across the road barking at a dog that on the other side walking his dog. I was so embarrassed because I barely had the strength to restrain her. It's such a dramatic change in her strength and I am not strong enough now she is healthy. I know this needs work. The thing is she really likes dogs (much more than my other dog) and loves playing with them. She plays well too- not rough or anything .
But some dogs she doesn't like and I can't figure out the common denominator.
submitted by MrsWG353
to dogs [link] [comments]
2023.02.03 05:20 2GRFEoilconsumption Ever17 review (WIP)
Thought I’d do an Ever17 review.
Basic info: Ever17: The Out of Infinity was released in Japan on August 29th, 2002 for the Sega Dreamcast and Sony PlayStation 2 home gaming consoles. In May of 2003, it was released for Windows-based PCs, which was shortly followed by a localization and North American release in December of 2005. A Sony PlayStation Portable port was released in 2009, followed by the Microsoft Xbox 360 remaster in 2011 and mobile phones in 2013. The only North American release was the 2005 PC version, though an english patch for the PSP version exists.
The game is part of the Infinity series of visual novels developed by KID and Kotaro Uchikoshi, the latter of which more famous for his work on the Zero Escape series. This visual novel has many themes consistent with Uchikoshi’s writing, such as a present or near-future setting, plot twists, time travel and time loops. Ever17 was the first of his works to use the formula that made the Zero Escape series so successful, as the previous game, Never7, was more heavily focused on the main character’s relationships with the heroines.
Setting: The game takes place in an idealized 2017 and 2034 just off the coast of modern-day Japan. An underwater theme park covering for a virus research and development facility LeMU is situated nearby the coast. The structure has 5 levels: Island Zero, the Ground Floor, First Floor, Second Floor and Third Floor, >!along with the ‘Himmel’ research facility On May 1st 2017, a structural accident caused by a careless worker at Himmel leaving a large door open, allowing the difference in internal air pressure and external water pressure to increase occurs at LeMU, and almost all customers are evacuated. Notice how I said almost. Yes, there are 6 men and women left at the facility with no means of escape. The water pressure is so severe that they only have until May 7th at 4:30AM to leave the theme park.
Takeshi Kuranari: One of the two playable characters in-game. He has an incredibly dry sense of humor which he almost incessantly uses, as well as a somewhat short temper. In spite of these perceived shortcomings, he lacks any self-preservation when the people he is stuck with are in danger, and will go to great lengths—even as far as risking his life—to prevent any further injury to his friends. When all six people are infected with the Tief Blau viral infection, he is able to convince Tsugumi to have her antibodies extracted so that everyone would he given the Curé virus, effectively ensuring survival against TB. After he saves Tsugumi Komachi’s life by leaving the escape submersible, he is saved by Hokuto and Blick Winkel. He then recovers Coco Yagami, who had stubbornly left the JMSDF rescue vessel to recover her pet dog, Pipi. They both are put in cryogenic sleep to execute a certain plan which I’ll get into later. In the bad ending, he is one of the four characters who are unable to fight against Tief Blau.
Ryogo Kaburaki : The other of the two playable characters in-game. Simply known as ‘The Kid’ before he recovers his memories. He doesn’t have anywhere near the sense of humor or temper as Takeshi, but he’s almost as compassionate. Though, he won’t sacrifice his life save anyone. In one of the bad endings, he is unable to fight the Tief Blau virus and dies shortly before the facility implodes. In 2034, he is requested to act as Takeshi Kuranari as part of the aforementioned plan.
Sora Akanegasaki: An system engineer who is very passionate about her work at the LeMU facility, as well as a highly-intelligent AI program. She acts in the same role as an AWACS aircraft— she reports any changes to the current situation and warns any of her provisional ‘subordinates’ of potential dangers. She is likely the most empathetic of the group and she is the character that I’m able to tolerate the most. After the 2017 accident, a 1-terabyte disc is recovered with all of Sora’s memories written on it. In 2034, this disc is used when a physical body is created for her, allowing her to act, behave and exist just as a normal human being does.
Tsugumi Komachi: A levelheaded, borderline emotionless individual. She is extremely hard to get along with, which causes numerous social roadblocks and a rift among some of the ensnared survivors of the accident. She is unusually strong, resilient, fast and intelligent and is able to adapt extremely quickly to foreign environments. A lot of this can be attributed to the Curé virus— a virus in which the body uses cancerous cells to its advantage, eventually replicating so quickly that all normal cells in the body are replaced within 5 years. This effectively removes any form of aging, which explains why she is forever biologically a 17-year old. As long as she isn’t shot, crushed or drowned, you probably won’t be able to kill her. She also had the unique ability to see heat signatures on objects, a form of IR vision. Due to this ability, she was ‘imprisoned’ and experimented upon by Leiblich Pharmaceutical, which causes a lot of her stuck-up personality traits. The intelligence likely comes as a result of her life on the run after the 2017 accident. Leblich Pharmaceutical wanted to use her abilities for their own gain, possibly in the Military-Industrial Complex. Being forced into a fugitive lifestyle, it’s safe to assume that she had to hide in unorthodox locations and move from job-to-job to scrounge up whatever currency, which can explain her proficiency with power tools. Takeshi and Tsugumi conceive children shortly before their escape attempt. They would be named Hokuto and Sara. In the 2034 incident, she is lured to LeMU by Yubiseiharukana under the guise of being able to see her two kids again. She is noticeably colder towards everyone involved in the 2034 incident due to the trauma it caused her 17 years earlier. In the bad ending, she does not allow the use of her antibodies to prevent Tief Blau from killing all of the infected. As the facility implodes, she decides to get the whole death thing over with first by exiting IBF and allowing high-pressure water to kill her.
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to visualnovels [link] [comments]
2023.02.03 05:20 Devil_Fruit9971 Round 9 Theory
As of late and for awhile we have been seeing Michel Nostradamus and Okita Souji, one of these two will fight next and the other will follow.
Just recently Nostradamus was amazed and intrigued by Beelzebub chaos void attack, and in life he was always predicting about the devil. Souji has been commentating since the end of Round 4 even getting up in god’s faces.
It seems most likely one of these two will fight it out. However, I also feel that the both of them will lose their respective matches.
No this isn’t just because no one likes Souji no, statistically speaking it seems humanity is up for two losses.
We all thought Round 7 would be a loss but badass homie Qin took the win. In a way Hades was the gods Adam so that win for us united them more and turned up the fire.
Back to the point Nostradamus and Souji these two guys are ready to fight and whatever comes next. Souji seems like he respects Brunhilde enough to follow her lead wait for her to give him the all clear. Nostradamus I can imagine will highjack the next fight and go out like how Zeus did Shiva I bet.
Thing is one is fighting Loki the other will be Susanno, it has for awhile been said Souji will fight Loki. Seeing how the two had a little clash during Round 5, I more lean to Nostradamus vs Loki because both are from the same coin. Arrogant obnoxious, both evidently have a an evil side to them as well. Plus troll vs troll in the most literal sense, it is also evident that the Norse despise Nostradamus and probably have been looking forward to him being here.
Souji vs Susanno would also be good to show that, even though both are from the land of sun. Plus Susanno is one of Japans important and prominent deities, fact is Souji would be hesitant at first but put it to the side. Maybe he becomes disillusioned with how Susanno acts and is no longer cares about it. At the end of the day they are warriors first and foremost, and the two want to see who is better plus to see a full samurai type battle would be astonishing.
These two losses would be bad and then one of the four remaining fighters would give us another win.
That’s all just my opinion if am wrong okay if am right, then let Rasputin win!!!!
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to ShuumatsuNoValkyrie [link] [comments]
2023.02.03 05:19 iam_bosskid6 This guy is the biggest waffler on mma Twitter, wonder how he got so many followers 🤦♂️
2023.02.03 05:19 K-Buhlmann Question regarding traveling to Boston for the CAS Spring meeting.
So after many years, I finally got my FCAS, and I am planning on going to the spring meeting to pick up my certificate. Due to how I wrote my exams, I was never an ACAS, so this would be the first time I attend the annual meeting. (I did go to a COP back in 2018). Anything I should know, or prepare for attending the annual meeting?
Boston is a pretty historic city, so I plan on taking my family (my wife, 10+, 10+ and a 1+) with me to the spring meeting, and spend a few more days after. So I am hoping maybe some Bostonian can help me out and give me some advise at visiting this historic city.
So, traveling with a one year old, is it better I just hang around where Westin is, and walk to the various sites (Such as the aquarium, the various museums, and maybe visit the site where Bostonian made cold steep tea in the harbor around 300 years ago?) Or should I rent a car? Looking on Google, there seemed to be plenty of interesting places to visit around Westin. I just wonder if it's advisable to walk.
Is it safe to travel using the subways during the day? My kids has never rode a subway before, so I figure it'd be a pretty neat experience for them. But I know subways can be pretty sketchy at various cities.
For that matter, I didn't travel at all when my older 2 kids were young. Does anyone know if I need to use a child seat for taxi? I think Uber only provide car seat for 18 month olds? My youngest would be less than 18 month in May. So how would I even travel from the Airport to Westin?
Any recommendations for places I should really visit in Boston?
submitted by K-Buhlmann
to actuary [link] [comments]
2023.02.03 05:19 West_Eye857 What Will We Do When AI Takes All of the Jobs?
I think with the layoffs in big tech and products like Co-Pilot that may eliminate many low level programmer jobs it is important that we look at how the economy may not be well designed for a world where we are automating jobs faster than they are being created.
Rather than focus on how we can create jobs, maybe we need to embrace a society where jobs are not necessary, and then figure out how people can still survive in that world.
I would be interested in people's thoughts on this and discussing possible solutions to a potential future where it just isn't possible for everyone to have a job.
submitted by West_Eye857
to Futurology [link] [comments]
2023.02.03 05:18 KYGaming100 I just met Ryan from Amazon
This is a weird story. My friend and I were at the gym on the bench. He asked this guy (Ended up being Ryan) to help spot him, and Ryan kept asking my friend to do weird stuff like intense drop sets when he was physically exhausted, and wanted to teach me how to spot on the bench even though I’ve done it many times before. He was just kind of weird, and thought he was being helpful, but in reality, he was being a little annoying. My friend and I both agreed the interaction was definitely unique to say the least
After he left, one of his friends said that he is a model and was on Survivor. Haven’t watched Amazon, but after my interaction with him, I’m not surprised he was voted out first lol
submitted by KYGaming100
to survivor [link] [comments]
2023.02.03 05:18 2GRFEoilconsumption Ever17 review ( WIP )
Just finished Ever17, so I thought I’d make a review.
Basic info: Ever17: The Out of Infinity was released in Japan on August 29th, 2002 for the Sega Dreamcast and Sony PlayStation 2 home gaming consoles. In May of 2003, it was released for Windows-based PCs, which was shortly followed by a localization and North American release in December of 2005. A Sony PlayStation Portable port was released in 2009, followed by the Microsoft Xbox 360 remaster in 2011 and mobile phones in 2013. The only North American release was the 2005 PC version, though english patches for PS2 and PSP versions exist.
The game is part of the Infinity series of visual novels developed by KID and Kotaro Uchikoshi, the latter of which more famous for his work on the Zero Escape series. This visual novel has many themes consistent with Uchikoshi’s writing, such as a present or near-future setting, plot twists, time travel and time loops. Ever17 was the first of his works to use the formula that made the Zero Escape series so successful, as the previous game, Never7, was more heavily focused on the main character’s relationships with the heroines.
Setting: The game takes place in an idealized 2017 and 2034 just off the coast of modern-day Japan. An underwater theme park covering for a virus research and development facility LeMU is situated nearby the coast. The structure has 5 levels: Island Zero, the Ground Floor, First Floor, Second Floor and Third Floor, >!along with the ‘Himmel’ research facility On May 1st 2017, a structural accident >!caused by a careless worker at Himmel leaving a large door open, allowing the difference in internal air pressure and external water pressure to increase
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to InfinitySeries [link] [comments]
2023.02.03 05:18 OldMysteries Combining crackpot theories
I made a comment under someone else's post where I combined two of my old crackpot theories, and I've decided to make it its own post and expand a little. First
, I can't seem to find it, but I made a post a long time ago throwing out the idea that Auri is what's supposed to be behind the Four-Plate Door and she got out through the back wall. Someone commented "Val-auri-tas." Second,
here is a post I made about a year ago where I speculate Felurian and Auri are broken pieces of Lyra. https://www.reddit.com/KingkillerChronicle/comments/md2mwb/my_favorite_crackpot_theory/
I don't have any real confidence in this idea, it's crackpot, but it's a lot of fun.
Here's a partial copy-paste (with minor changes) to explain:
"I believe the play Daeonica is about Lanre/Halliax. I can't take credit for that idea. Numerous other people have written posts about it. Here is one of the better posts, the best one I could find: https://www.reddit.com/KingkillerChronicle/comments/ewyd3x/daeonica/
Daeonica is a tragic love story between a character named Tarsus and Felurian. Taurus dies and is raised from the dead. There are blue flames, suggestion Chandrian. There's an exorcism scene that closely mirrors the confrontation between Lanre and Selitos as Myr Tariniel falls. (ADDITION: There is a part where Kvothe finds a book where the names of the Chandrian are given and Kvothe dismesses them because he says they are taken from Daeonica.)
The important part for now is that, if this is the case, it implies Felurian is Lyra.
(Have to wonder why the Chandrian don't object to it.)
Third, (this is where we start making jumps) for the purposes of this theory, let's assume in the story of Jax that the moon is both the literal moon and a woman Jax desired and that the woman is Lyra/Felurian.
Jax only manages to take part of her name.
Finally, it's crackpot time: Lyra/Felurian got split into two pieces, both of which have broken minds but both are broken in different ways. One side of her is trapped in the Fae and is just a sex-crazed id. The other part is Fel-Auri-n..." Third,
as I was writing the above-mentioned comment, it dawned on me that if (and this is a big if) both of those ideas are true, then the most logical conclusion would be that the Four-Plate Door is the "small iron box" from the story of Jax and the Moon.
In the story of Jax, it says the box "meant for keeping things inside" which is similar to how Kvothe described the Four-Plate Door.
...This actually fits nicely with a lot of other ideas I have.
submitted by OldMysteries
to KingkillerChronicle [link] [comments]
2023.02.03 05:17 confused_queer_bitch Idk if this is the right place but I posted in r/datingadvice and got nothing so here I am
Hello all, throwaway cuz I have anxiety
So for background, I (21NB) work at a coffee shop near a college campus with L (21F). We get along amazingly well and I’ve started to have a crush on her big time. I haven’t liked someone like this since I broke up with my ex in Feb 2020. We share many interests but I’m autistic and terrified of losing one of my few friends by fucking this up. I don’t wanna just ignore it but I also don’t know what to do. I’ve never hung out with any coworker outside of work ever, and I’ve worked since 16 so I don’t know how to even approach hanging out outside of work much less trying to develop a relationship strong enough where I can ask her out.
Sorry if this is the wrong place for this, I’ll delete it if asked. Thank you to anyone that actually reads my post as well
submitted by confused_queer_bitch
to queer [link] [comments]
2023.02.03 05:17 ernine11 Day 1 - Over it.
Writing this because it's the first time I'm coming home at the end of a long day and NOT immediately smoking. The craving is real, and I am distracting myself from finding a reason why starting tomorrow is better, actually. It's not; every day I let weed boss me around I feel like a failure.
I'm 32 and started smoking weed around 19. For some of that, I was in living in Japan where I swapped the weed for cigarettes, but swapped right back literally the second I got out of quarantine on Canadian soil. I've been a daily / all day user since then, just like old times. And it really didn't bother me or tangibly hold me back until recently.
I had good boundaries and only smoked when I was home. But if I was home, you can bet I was stoned. Got to the point where if I had to do dishes or fold laundry without being stoned, it felt impossible. Doing art, crafts, and hikes I enjoy high felt like a total waste of time sober. Kinda sad, but I really identified with being A Stoner - smoking makes all this fun stuff better! ... until it stops being fun unless you're stoned.
The reason I feel so compelled to quit now is because... I like my life now. I'm basically doing my dream job in a really cool new community, but I spend all my evenings and weekends alone in my cabin getting stoned. I've tried to stop, or at least cut back to just weekends, but I fail every time. I feel so anxious and incompetent at work because I KNOW I'm not doing everything I can do, and WANT to do there because I'm so pulled to my happy stoner life at home.
Weed hasn't affected my work directly yet, I don't think, but it's a ticking time-bomb. And it's had a huge indirect effect because I just can't take myself seriously at work while I'm living a double-life as a stoner. I feel self-conscious, like an impostor. I'm always wondering and worrying about who knows, how could they know, will I lose my job? I've been telling myself the weed helps with the anxiety, but zoom out a bit and now I'm realizing it's actually causing most of it. I'm not living up to what I know I can do. I'm not engaging with my life as fully as I know I could. I'm missing opportunities and struggling to make friends here because I feel like I'm carrying this horrible secret. I feel a lot of shame, not for smoking weed per se, but for being so completely at the mercy of my cravings for it. For missing out on chances to engage and connect and be part of life in this cute little town. I could be doing so much better, and I'm embarrassed that it's weed that's holding me back.
I'm just over it. I'm over the battles and the internal conflicts, over the shame and the sneaking. It feels really juvenile to me now. I'm ready to move on. I don't hate weed or anything, but I'm tired of being A Stoner and living those old habits on top of my new life, career, and community. Weed takes up way too much space in my life, and I want out of its shadow.
Thank you to anyone reading this. I've had ~issues~ with my smoking for a while now, but it's only been in the last couple days that it really hit home that cutting back isn't actually what I want. I need to just stop, move on to bigger and better things. And now, this post has served its purpose; I think tonight, for the first time in at least 3 years, I will have some dinner and go to bed without being high. Gotta start somewhere.
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2023.02.03 05:17 IndividualBusiness42 Weaning 10 mg after 5-6 years…..
I decided to come off lexapro after 5 years. Over the last couple of years, I have developed ADHD as an adult in a way that makes daily living almost impossible. I literally cannot complete a single task. Impulsive. Irritable. Got a brain scan done and it was confirmed by 2 psychiatrists. Apparently, SSRIs can make adhd worse as they can make it harder to get dopamine? Idk.
It’s been about 2 weeks now and I have been weaning off. I went from 10 mg to 5 which was probably a mistake but when I went to 7.5, the side effects were the same. So I am continuing on 5. I’m wondering how long I should stay on 5 before dropping to 2.5? I just want to be off of it. The side effects are horrendous though. Around 3 pm every day I get super brain foggy, dizzy, nauseous, and I’ve also had really bad headaches. It’s almost like a hangover that no meds work for and without drinking.
Any advice is appreciated. I reached out to my doc’s assistant LAST WEEK and said she would ask, but they never got back to me 🙄 I’m a nurse - so I work long, stressful shifts and this makes it very difficult to do.
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2023.02.03 05:17 Hotel_Earth Jargon, shaming and tripwires - from the perspective of a newcomer (to this subreddit, not to polyamory)
Hi mods, I’ve gone over the following with a fine-toothed comb, and I feel confident that it falls well within both the spirit and letter of the sub rules. It is critical and very long, but offered with the best of intentions - I hope you’ll let it through.
TL;DR hidden subreddit norms and highly specified language are causing some problems, especially for newcomers to the subreddit; I talk about these at preposterous length. Some subreddit drama is rehashed in a way that I hope is both constructive and more broadly relevant, but if this sounds tedious to you, consider skipping this post.
Happy Thursday everyone! The following is directed primarily towards curious or distressed people who might land here in the future, and the many posters who generously provide the benefit of their experience to others. If you are new to polyamory and find yourself startled by the apparent ubiquity of some fairly extreme viewpoints on this subreddit, I hope you will find my perspective both helpful and encouraging. I have little hope of changing any minds among the more hard-line contingent, but if any of you happen to have woken up on the right side of the bed this morning, I encourage you to read on.
This subreddit is, of course, composed of many thousands of people, who inhabit a wide range of viewpoints. Many of these people are considerate, and much of their advice is good, or at least well-intended. In a more archival mode, this sub can be a treasure trove of good ideas and useful perspectives. There is, however, a marked culture, one that often creates a minefield around certain topics. One needn't look far in order to encounter an appalling degree of vitriolic shaming, often triggered when new posters unfamiliar with specific tripwires unwittingly stumble across them. It is news to no one that some people are jerks, and that some people are bigger jerks on the internet than they might be in other contexts; at best, careful moderation can calm the waters, nudging discussions back on course when they begin to founder.
Here, the opposite effect is apparent: piety, condescension and a highly specified pseudo-academic lexicon converge to convey the impression that the norms found here are monolithic and widely accepted, when many of them in fact bear little resemblance to those of broader poly contexts. It’s a big world, and this subreddit is a bubble: despite its prominence in search results (many of you, I imagine, will have found your way here in the same manner I did) and the appearance of a fairly authoritative consensus on many topics, this sub contains its share of blind spots. While there are plenty of common poly pitfalls, especially for beginners, and many more wrong answers than right ones, there are also many more right
answers than the fairly narrow window of tolerance within this subreddit will often indicate. If you and your partners are happy, secure and communicating well most of the time, you are not doing it wrong.
On the topic of security, I’m certainly not the only one to have found the almost total lack of regard displayed here for the virtues of devotion, loyalty and commitment surprising. While it is true that relationships can only change over time, and with new partners, one could be forgiven for concluding based on the contents of this subreddit that this change can only be one of fracturing, growing apart and letting go - and perhaps that one should not only feel bad about their part in this, but also feel bad about feeling bad
about it. This terribly sad, lonely perspective serves to elevate a certain brand of detached avoidance to the status of some sort of fundamental poly axiom, encompassing none of the deep security that foundations of years, built on trust accumulated over time, can provide. Perhaps a little known secret to those less experienced: much of the time, polyamory is kind of easy
among partners who communicate well. These are underrepresented here: I imagine many of them are simply living their lives rather than posting, for reasons I am beginning to understand very well.
Don’t let a person deep in the chaos of their own disorganized attachments bully you into doubting your own perceptions because they don’t like the way that their encounters with secure attachment perturb their own self-image! The jargon often runs deep here, and while highly specified language can certainly add clarity and facilitate concision, it is too often employed to the opposite purpose. Notice the rhetorical gymnastics on display. Wherever you encounter an idea that could have been communicated effectively in a plain sentence or two, but which instead inhabits an entire jargon-laced paragraph, you will often find a personal preference disguised as a norm. ‘I don’t like it when couples are too couple-y’ doesn’t sound nearly
as authoritative as ‘the unexamined couple privilege on display here is very problematic, and a clear example of mononormative ideology infiltrating poly spaces and implicitly devaluing queerplatonic relationship paradigms.’
The exact same
behavior will just as often be lauded or condemned, based only on the terminology employed to describe it. Observe the convolutions: to avoid labeling anything
a rule or a hierarchy, even when its function is by any sane definition indistinguishable from one. To cast absolutely everything
in the mold of some idealized free-agent autonomy, even in cases where basic tenets of simple decency - often of the sort that pass unremarked between casual acquaintances, let alone lovers - are clearly
being violated. Consider that many of the people best-versed in this jargon use it primarily as a tool of manipulation, coercion and abuse - and pass unnoticed - while others who are simply trying to navigate a complex topic openly, in public, become instant pariahs. There often seems to be a sort of lexical ninja task force, waiting in the rafters for a chance to descend in full force upon any likely punching bag at the slightest provocation.
This pseudo-academic jargon serves as a barrier to entry, but also as a movable fortress for those best able to wield it. When operated in alignment with the veiled ideological tides I’ve described, it becomes a source of shifting, infinitely replenishable moral high ground for those in the know, like a force field of smug contempt from behind which they can rain vitriol down upon the uninitiated. It is of course natural for any community to develop its own norms, but some of these ones are toxic, unexamined and unexaminable, or at least needlessly proscriptive. After all, people will be much more likely to let you deconstruct their beliefs and motivations if you can first convince them that they are operating from a place of unexamined privilege!
The selective emphasis on certain types of privilege, and even the axis along which privilege is tabulated, deserve closer scrutiny as well. I find the emphasis on couple privilege particularly myopic, in that many of these so-called privileges are in fact a matter of necessity and even survival for many. If you or a partner haven’t experienced severe illness or injury, immigration difficulties, or threats to your basic safety, that is a very lucky thing. To claim that marriage, for instance, is inherently unethical in a poly context because only one partner can marry, or to suggest that these considerations should even be on the table when a partner’s citizenship, home, safety or access to medical care might be at stake, is to have truly lost the thread. Especially in queer, trans and immigrant circles, these are among the only tools on hand to navigate an often overtly hostile culture and apparatus of state; the true privilege is to not have to worry about these things.
It also strikes me as odd that, at least within this subreddit, those at the furthest extreme of the personal autonomy axis - and I’m primarily referring to self-labeled relationship anarchists here - are often the most vocal in their attempts to restrict the behavior or shame the preferences of others. The tired refrain ‘it’s not my job to educate you’ serves as a poor substitute for coherent argumentation, often bookending some absurd blanket edict (‘there are no couples in polyamory’), delivered without any context or support. I want to be clear that I have nothing at all against relationship anarchy, and have found much there to be of value, both in the literature and in conversation. I am bewildered, however, by the extent to which some among this sub’s RA contingent, who value autonomy so highly for themselves, seem inclined to grant other people so little of it.
The degree to which some of the louder voices in this crowd mistake their own preferences for some kind of universal moral truth is truly surprising: they should be among the least likely to make such a mistake. One suspects a great many relationship objectivists or neoreactionaries, if there can be such a thing, hiding among these self-labeled anarchists. There is a deep irony here: nominally anarchist politics eventuate in effectively authoritarian aims and practices, complete with an eager avant-cop goon squad to enforce them. This doesn’t really look like anarchism to me; the anarchism I know has a whole lot more to do with solidarity, mutual aid and community. My previous entry on this topic was described as ‘pseudo-intellectual ranting’ by a moderator, but I’m genuinely curious: in what sense is this doctrine of total self-reliance anarchist?
In any case, it’s revealing that such uncompromising relational ethics within one subset of interaction can fail so utterly to translate to others: many of these people seem plainly eager for any opportunity to dole out beatings under the guise of tough love. I wonder how many poly novices, having been so badly burnt on this subreddit for crossing an invisible tripwire in a moment of vulnerability, end up turning back to the mainstream again for years, or for good? How many more have at least internalized the careless, toxic ramblings of some overeager poly keyboard cop? That number is certainly not zero; there is real harm being done here.
I am glad to have many friends in the wild, both mono and poly, who when faced with discomfort around other people’s ideas are reasonably capable of producing ‘that’s definitely not for me, but knock yourself out’ as a plausible alternative hypothesis to ‘this person is clearly evil and needs to be punished immediately.’ I wish the same were more often the case here. Instead, the pattern is often that of a purity spiral, or a struggle session. Controversial topics quickly become impossible to discuss. A wire gets tripped, and the subreddit immune system activates: if either total submission or the right lexical credentials are not immediately produced by the offender, the worst possible intentions are assumed. Labels are thrown out until one of them sticks, the public shaming commences, and the conversation is effectively over, regardless of its contents: the heretics are ritually burned, and the community once again made safe.
After all, no one wants to be problematic, or unethical; those are bad
things! Why would anyone need to question the terms, unless they’re up to no good? The result is a fractured epistemology, one in which much of the foundational terminology admits of no easy definition, but also brooks no examination. This is an impossible basis for any kind of open discourse.
On the topic of thorny, ambiguous terms, and at the risk of totally derailing this conversation: let’s talk about unicorns, autonomy, and an interesting pattern of reactions I’ve noticed on this sub over the past few days.
To provide a little context: I (a somewhat masc andro AMAB nonbinary) posted my Feeld profile for review a few days ago. I received a number of very sweet comments, a good deal of constructive criticism, some harsh but helpful advice, and a couple of nasty comments which I ignored. (That post is still up; if you’re curious, you can see it here: https://www.reddit.com/polyamory/comments/10ohzpb/34nb_feeld_profile_review_be_brutally_honest/
My spouse and anchor partner Claire (a femme AFAB nonbinary), who I’m currently staying with, was so excited about how much helpful feedback I got that they asked me to post their Feeld profile, too (they don’t have a reddit account, and after the ensuing fiasco that seems likely to remain a permanent state of affairs). I can’t link to that post, because it was removed by the moderators, but although Claire’s post was very similar to mine, the reaction couldn’t have been more different. With the exception of a few constructive entries, the comments were overwhelmingly harsh from the beginning.
We had both written in our profiles that we were open to dating together or separately, and that we were open to being unicorns for other queer couples. This didn’t really make any waves in my profile review thread, but for some reason Claire’s set people off right away. The thread really caught on fire when Claire used the word ‘throuple’ in a comment (Claire speaks excellent english, among four other languages, but it is not their first language, and highly specific context-dependent terminology can sometimes be a little foggy - can you see another mode of gatekeeping at work here?).
It was clear from the post and our comments that we both have separate long term poly relationships with people of various genders, some of which relationships have endured from well before we met each other, and that dating people separately was in no way new to us. Nonetheless, things continued to heat up. I was criticized for responding, rather than just taking the beating (a favorite tactic of bullies everywhere), and once the label ‘unicorn hunter’ started flying around, there was no containing the flames - the post was quickly removed by the moderators.
I was initially hesitant to dig into this topic, but upon examining some past posts on this sub, I became aware of the likelihood that if I didn’t address it I would likely be written off as a salty unicorn hunter; I don’t want to make it quite that easy. I’m not interested in re-litigating the exact arguments from that post, but I think their outline is a useful lens through which to examine the dynamic I’ve outlined above. There are some terms I want to unpack here, because there are multiple conflicting definitions operating concurrently, and watching while Claire and I were publicly shamed - after being herded into the gap between a narrow, explicit definition and a much wider operational one - was extremely illuminating.
I’ll start with the narrow, explicit definition: that one’s easy, because the criteria are outlined in both the subreddit rules and some of the linked literature.
From the sub rules: “Personal ads and the like are not allowed. If you post asking for people in your area, or anything looking like a personals ad, it will be removed. Same with commenting anywhere attempting to do the same. This includes asking [how to find "a third", “a unicorn”, or multiple women to date only you and maybe each other.”
OK! That’s looking pretty good; everything about this seems very sensible. But wait, there’s another link! Maybe this will describe unicorn hunters in more detail? Once again, we’re in luck: “If you don't know what a "unicorn hunter" is, that's simply an established couple, a heterosexual man and bisexual woman, that's searching for a bisexual woman\* that is open to a relationship with both the man and the woman in the existing relationship (but no one else), who will love them both equally, and agree to the rules that the couple has already decided are healthy for their relationship. She is expected to fit in to their relationship without changing the existing relationship with the couple, and if they feel that she's not following any rule, she's out, to protect The Couple.”
Great! This is looking good too. We’re going to take the asterisk into account and assume this describes any potential triad, regardless of gender and orientation. Obligation to date both of us? Nope. Exclusivity? Nope. Expectations of equal feelings? Rules new partners have to follow? Noooope. Expectations that our relationship won’t change? Rules or veto power from within the couple? No, and no.
Alright - looking good! We aren’t unicorn hunters, by any accepted definition that anyone can point to. We’re interested in dating or playing with someone new together, which we haven’t done much of, and also enjoy playing unicorn with other couples, separately. Anyone who cares to look can easily see that we’ve both been poly and happily partnered in a number of concurrent relationships for many years, even though we’re not up to speed on the subreddit-specific jargon. This should go pretty well, right?
About the strongest reasonable claim anyone made was that any
premeditated desire to date another person together was a recipe for heartbreak. While it can certainly go that way, that hasn’t been the majority of my experience with other couples. But I get it - lots of people have been burnt by shitty couples - fair enough. There was a bunch of criticism from people who could tell that we were a couple and didn’t like that - kind of tangential, but under the same umbrella - ok, sure.
The bulk of the vitriol, though, was in regard to unicorn hunting. This is interesting, because by any reading of the narrow, explicit definition above, neither Claire or I are unicorn hunters. None of this should be controversial.
What’s going on here?
It seems that there is another, hidden definition of unicorn hunting that comes into play when the unspoken
norms of the sub are questioned. This definition is not explicit, and I can only trace its outline by examining the tripwires I triggered around it, but I have a hunch it might look something like this: ‘unicorn hunting is when people I might want to date if they were single or solo are in a couple, and they are talking about dating people together.’ I’m not pulling this out of thin air - most of the more energetic negative comments, especially on Claire’s posts, followed roughly the format: ‘I would totally swipe right if [X], but I’ll pass / you suck / byeeeee because [Y].’
While the impact of our preferences on others' self-conception was a noteworthy feature of those comments, it seemed central to another theme that surfaced later on. Near the end of that thread’s short, messy life, Claire and I received another healthy round of shaming, for saying that we both enjoy playing, solo, with other couples, as self-identified unicorns.
Particularly distressing was the implication that a sexually confident femme could not meaningfully determine their own boundaries or needs; that either of us unicorning at all was (from the perspective of the unicorn!
) definitionally unethical. I find this deeply troubling. Some of the comments I encountered on this topic seemed to point toward what I can only describe as some kind of victimless breach of an undefined and unspoken sexual code of poly ethics.
Unspoken, and highly resistant to questioning: this line of inquiry led more or less directly to the post’s removal. The proscription of victimless ‘unethical’ behavior doesn’t protect anyone, and indeed can only
exist as an instrument of normative enforcement - after all, if no one is harmed by a behavior, who can its prohibition possibly hope to protect? This position seems strangely puritanical, for a poly subreddit: I’m reminded, bleakly, of extremist Christian prohibitions on masturbation as ‘self-rape.’ To anticipate any possible retort that unicorn-hunting couples harm people all the time, I want to emphasize that it was claimed that we were harming ourselves, in some manner we were not aware of,
by unicorning with other couples -
and that my attempts to point this concern trolling out led directly to the post being removed.
Is discomfort harm? Who, exactly, is being protected here? What are they being protected from? What is it about confident, self-assured unicorns that certain poly identities find so existentially threatening? Why does a community founded on the principles of negotiation and mutual agreement adopt a posture that can be accurately described as ‘do what we say, or else, no questions!’
when certain of its unwritten rules are challenged? The answers to these questions are left as an exercise for the reader.
I expect this kind of reactive posturing from the straight world; it’s disappointing to find it here, too. My experience above is only a single case, but even a cursory inventory of this sub’s contents will demonstrate that the underlying principle generalizes. There are too many examples here of shaming, of vitriol aimed at newcomers over perfectly understandable difficulties. Vitriol delivered with such piety, as though the ultimate poly goal is to burn all interdependence away at the altar of total autonomy. This is a shame. One doesn’t need to completely dismantle the basic machinery of attachment (as though such a thing is even possible) in order to practice ethical polyamory. There is a lot of good to be found in lifelong commitment for those who seek it, even in poly relationships.
It is possible to be married and ethically poly. Don’t mistake the gospel of avoidance from those who are triggered by secure attachment for some bitter but necessary pill to swallow. That is total bullshit. If you truly believe that you can exist alongside other people - let alone in relationship with
other people - without anyone ever
owing anyone else anything
- you are delusional. At best, this mentality is indicative of a thoroughly unexamined lack of personal accountability; at worst, it is a direct instrument of manipulation and abuse. Sometimes pain is something to sit with alone; sometimes it’s a signal that support and co-regulation are needed; and sometimes it’s a sign that what you are doing is hurting you, and you should stop. All that matters, ultimately, is what works well for you and your partners.
I am not convinced that I am right on all counts, but I will offer that I am not anonymous here. I am willing to stand behind, defend and also re-examine my own beliefs. The same, you will find, is often not true of those most assiduously toeing the party line, although I am sure many will be eager to tell you differently. And there is a party line, enforced by group pressure and by unbalanced moderation served with a heaping tablespoon of condescension. An appeal to those I’ve spoken harshly of here: even from a perspective of self-interest, shaming people and tearing them down is not going to get the result you want. You certainly don’t owe anyone kindness, or any response at all, but at least have enough self-awareness to realize when you’re getting yourself off on some human punching bag kink - don’t think of it as helpful.
To those just starting out, or seeking some extra support in a difficult moment, please don’t be fooled by the funhouse mirror effect this subreddit can have, and please, please, please don’t let some internet strangers’ weird hangups prevent you from exploring anything safe, sane, consensual and fun. We’re all still in the early days of building a shared map for the territory of polyamory. I’m reminded of a thought from Brian Eno: “Avant-garde music is a sort of research music. You’re glad someone’s done it but you don’t necessarily want to listen to it. It’s similar to the way I’m very happy people have gone to the North Pole. It extends my concept of the planet to know it exists, but I don’t want to live there, or even go there actually. But it’s a boundary condition.”
The most uncompromising perspectives on personal autonomy are fascinating, but you don’t need to visit the outpost in order to benefit from the research. Polyamory, as a relational framework and social phenomenon, is still nascent. Our shared understandings around this topic are very much a work in progress, and anyone throwing down an extreme viewpoint with a surfeit of confidence is likely trying harder to convince themselves than you. Projection is rampant, especially when one’s own behavior is taken by others as a challenge to their own self-conception. If shame is the primary response you experience to someone’s ‘advice,’ the odds are good that they’re not really trying to help you.
Take the best and ignore the rest.
Happily, much of the linked external literature recommended here is excellent, and not nearly so proscriptive or judgemental as you might imagine based on its disjunct and distorted parroting by many posters. I have found “Polysecure” by Jessica Fern particularly helpful, and return to it often. For my part, I am not sure whether I will be back here. It will be interesting to see the subreddit immune system in action, and I’m always ready for a pleasant surprise.
In the meantime, be kind to yourselves, take care of each other, and remember to drink plenty of water.
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2023.02.03 05:17 Outside_looking_in28 Please Help- I don’t get it!
Getting straight to it. I’ve always been a little sensitive, always open to spirit, always willing to learn. I knew at a young age I was a little special, but I’ve never been able to develop it because I can’t shut my head up and focus. Something, someone-has a message for me and it’s driving me insane that I can’t get it. EVERY time I look at a clock it’s double numbers, 11:11, 2:22, 9:09.. unless it’s not. Then it’s something :24… 8:24 and 12:24 are most common. Weather it’s am or pm. I wake up in the middle of the night, 3:33, 4:44… it’s crazy. This isn’t once or twice, kind of a coincidence. It’s literally all the time! It’s Thursday, I’ve woken up on double numbers 3 nights this week. Today, I’ve smelled cigarette smoke like crazy, random times. In the truck, in my living room. Neither me or my husband smoke, and no one has ever smoked in our house or vehicle. I do have health issues, none that would cause phantom smells. What the hell is going on and how do I figure this out?? It’s been months, I’m starting to think I’m going insane. Also, I’m an adult, mother, don’t do drugs, and I’m mostly healthy. Just worried someone has a message I’m missing and I don’t know how to pay attention 😭
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2023.02.03 05:17 kikkogaming My girlfriend (17) had an obsessed autistic guy (34) chasing her and now he has entered a relationship with her autistic sister (19)
Yes you read that right, let me start by explaining the obsessed autistic guy. We’ll call him Fred. Like 8 months ago my gf met this Fred on Discord and they started talking. Now note that she is just a very nice and pure person and wants to see the good in people. Fred at the time was addicted to weed, she helped him get sober and he even turned to the Bible. Fast forward a couple of months and this guy is just telling her he loves her and in Minecraft he would put books in het inv. with texts like “I love you” in different languages. Let me add that i did not know about this, she has a lot of online friends on Discord. They had a group of multiple people including my gf and Fred where they just play Minecraft on Fred’s server. Next thing you know she texts me saying this Fred got a tattoo with the first initial of her name in a heart shape. Then i found out what was going down with this guy. He had an audio clip of her saying “Fred! Fred wake up! You need to go to work!” (she sent it on WhatsApp once), and this guy used that as his alarm for God knows how many months. He was obsessed and in love with her. When I found out I immediatly told her to block him. At first she didn’t want to because Fred has no social life and just kept telling my gf that he needed her in his life so she got scared he would hurt himself. Long story short she blocked him on every platform and finally was able to see that he was in love and obsessed with her. (I know how this may look, like my gf was doing it on purpose, just believe me when i say she didn’t want any of this.)
Now, my gf’s sister also has autism and is 24/7 holed up in her room playing Minecraft, only goes out for school and work. She can’t communicate with people, so she plays with younger people. Now this Fred was also playing with alot of young people, kids. Reminder that this guy is 34. My gf introduced her sister to the group with Fred before it got weird so she was also part of it. The sister is weird. She didn’t really seem to care that much about Fred being a pedophile towards her younger sister and just kept on playing with him after the whole scandal. In the beginning she would often ask questions to my gf that Fred asked, knowing she had blocked him and doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore. Fast forward a couple of weeks and this Fred gets invited to my gf’s home by the sister. Parents approved it because God knows why, they hadn’t really thought too much about the whole thing with my gf. Luckily my gf wasn’t home when he arrived, she hadn’t seen him and i want to keep it that way (not just me but my gf aswell)
Now comes the whole advice part. You see Fred lives like a hour and 45 minutes away from my gf. He doesn’t have his own car yet, but the sister uses the parents’ car to get there. Though the parents aren’t exactly happy with this relationship (they now see what he did to my gf) they are not trying to stop it. The mom doesn’t know what to do, because it will make it more exciting for the sister if she isn’t allowed to see him. They’re saying shit like “We’ll make sure he won’t come over if you’re home” to my gf, but let’s be real here he shouldn’t come there at all. Also note that for like 2/3 months the sister and Fred have been gaming together nonstop. Every night she is still in a Discord call with him, my gf explained that because both Fred and the sister have autism they sort of get connected with each other. They feel like they are the only person that understands each other. Now i have some options laid out. I could go to her close neighbour (she sees my gf as her little princess) and tell her the story about this Fred, who he really is, and have her charge in her home and throw it around (she is in the position to do that), but my gf prefers to keep that option as a joker card. I could also go to the police with my gf and show all the evidence (enough screenshots and photo’s of the tattoo), i don’t know how far that’ll get me but i’m aiming at a prohibition order where he won’t even be allowed near the house. The only problem then is that i don’t know what the sister will do then. I can totally see it happen that she will move to his house if she isn’t allowed to see him, and my gf is more sad about the part that Fred got his claws set on her sister instead of the part that Fred stays in her life. Fred is also already calling my gf’s little brother HIS little brother. He’s also good friends already with a close nephew of the family and had the phone number of her aunt, so everyone already likes him while no one (except for the parents and the sister) knows what fucked up shit he did. Now i really just want to go over to her house and open my mouth about the situation but I am not really in the position to do that, JUST JET. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years now so I can give my opinion, but i’ve never started an argument there before. Note that everyone there is very sensitive, so I also have to be careful with what I say to prevent disaster. 1 wrong sentence and they will side with Fred instead of me.
So that brings another option, wait for it to go wrong (Fred walks in unannounced and sees my gf) and start a justified argument. I guess it’s hard to explain why i can’t really do that now, every person in her family is mentally different and have a lot of weak spots. I already know that if I call Fred a pedophile the sister will freak out and start screaming at me, as she is completely manipulated by him (She called the whole being obsessed and in love thing just a big mistake). So yeah, that’s about it. Should i wait for it to go wrong and have a justified argument with her family (as in, going all out). Should i tell the close neighbour and have her barge in and (hopefully) solve it. Should I go to the police and keep him as far away as possible? The aunt’s family likes Fred, they don’t seem to know what he tried with my gf, the cousin also has already visited Fred’s home twice with the sister. If I would ask the neighbour for help she would not only get mad at the sister but also at the mom (which is not justified right now but i’d say if the mom let’s the sister do what she wants then the mom also deserves an earful). Going to the police could make the sister make very bad life changing decisions. She can’t take care of herself so it would be pretty bad.
What’s also important is that my gf absolutely cannot come face to face with Fred. My gf is like 164 cm tall and this guy is over 2 meters tall, even taller than me (i’m like 198 cm), he’s very big. My gf is scared to death for Fred, and to be honest, i’m scared of him too. I will do everything to defend my gf, but this guy is a big deal and probably way stronger than I am.
If you have read this entirely, thank you, I would like to hear your opinion on this subject. Also feel free to ask any questions if there’s any info missing. I wrote it pretty quickly so it might be a bit messy overall.
submitted by kikkogaming
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2023.02.03 05:16 Less_Pension1903 My 2017 Chevy Malibu 1.5L seems to be running out of fuel very quickly?
I’ve had this car for a few months now and one thing I’ve noticed during that time was how quickly it runs out of fuel. There are no issues with the car, no warning lights, and it says I’m getting almost 27mpg on average, but I normally have to fill up before the end of the week?
I had a 2014 Chevy Cruze 1.4L before this, and it usually never ran out of fuel as fast as this car does. It could usually last maybe 2-3 weeks before I’d have to fill up again. Which I guess makes sense because it’s supposed to be a economical car. It got close to 450miles on a single tank of gas. My car says it has 320 miles left after filling up but on my trip odo I normally get 220-240 out of that when the gas light comes on. I drive to work and other places that are nearby. I drive maybe 15-25 miles a day if not less.
Is that normal mileage to you guys? It has a 13 gallon tank, but at the pump it goes to 10 before it cuts off. Just want to see if others have this issue or if it’s in my head. I run premium fuel (93) in it because it’s a turbocharged engine and it costs like $35 each time so it’s not super expensive, it does help with acceleration a lot and adds maybe 40 miles more to the total range versus running 87
submitted by Less_Pension1903
to Cartalk [link] [comments]