Physical therapy stretch strap

Vulvodynia

2012.04.07 17:47 southern_linguist Vulvodynia

A place for individuals (however they identify) with vulvodynia to share stories, give and receive advice and support. This subreddit is dedicated to providing information and being a supportive space, as well as raising awareness. Please note that this subreddit is not a substitute for a proper diagnosis. If you are experiencing vulval pain, please see a doctor specialising in vulval conditions. You can find advice in the sidebar about diagnosis and treatment.
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2023.02.03 04:50 happysloth6782846 Feeling so defeated

I'm 30 years old. I've had chronic back pain since I was 15. There were a few years in my early 20s where things were better. But now my back pain is worse (stenosis, completely degenerated disc, disc bulging), and it feels like every 6 months I have something new. Carpal tunnel, torn Achilles tendon, TMJ, no cartilage under my knee cap, chronic fatigue, a mass in my thyroid and hypothyroidism, eczema and rashes (including eyelid swelling), panic attacks and anxiety, depression, and prolonged QT. Not to mention I was born asthmatic.
I'm just constantly in so much pain. So many types of pain.
I'm sick of hearing, "you're too young for this". I'm sick of spending all the money I make on doctors and tests and physical therapy.
If it's this bad at 30, how much worse is going to get? I can't handle it. I just want it to stop 😭
submitted by happysloth6782846 to ChronicPain [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 04:23 DerpSherpa Finger swelling and joint cramps

Hello friends. I’ve had an issue the last couple of months which coincidentally began when I started my Belatacept infusions and my tacrolimus being lowered. Both my hands have swollen, and I have joint and muscle cramps in my fingers so much so that on my right hand, cannot make a fist and both arms and some fingers feel as if they are on a hinge and can pop up, with some pain, of course, like a trigger. My thumbs will not bend.
I have been going to physical therapy for four weeks twice a week and nothing has changed. You would think that they lowered tacrolimus dose to .5 twice a day would have decreased side effects.
Has anybody experienced this and is there a solution? The pain is unbearable in the evenings, but is there 24 hours a day.
Thanks
submitted by DerpSherpa to transplant [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 04:11 Particular-Ad-9182 How do I get my doctor to take my pain seriously

51y female. Full time job active job where im on my feet 8+ hours a day. I pull pallets weighing 10 to 300lbs, bend to pick things up and lift up to 50lbs.
Ive had minor lower back pain for years. Easily dismissed and only lasted a few hours at time. April of 2022 pain came and did.not go away. Back felt stiff and was painful. Went to primary care doc who ordered x-rays. Results showed "narrowing of L2-L4 with bridging osteophytes and endplate spurs" and levorotatry scoliosis. Was told it was lumbar stenosis and was normal. Given muscle relaxers and told to take ibuprofen if needed.
3 weeks later started getting sharp pains in 1 buttock and went back to doc. Diagnosed as sciatica. Referred to physical therapy. Muscle relaxers discontinued and ibuprofen continued. PT concluded, once a week for 10 weeks. Did wonders for my back. Core strenghting was key for me.
Lately my right hip feels like im being stabbed and the top inside of right foot has such severe pain i can barelu walk. Only relief, partial, is walking on outside of foot which causes hip pain to flair. Fun fun fun.
Went to doctor and she says its normal aging pains and to just keep taking ibuprofen and "let her worry". There are some days i can barely stand due to the pain from.my hip and foot and when back flairs up, omg i feel like curling into a ball and crying.
Doctor sees no need for new xrays or specialist. My insurance wont pay for specialist without a referal. What can i do to make my doctor take me serious?
On phone so apologies for any spelling mistakes.
submitted by Particular-Ad-9182 to Thritis [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 04:07 anon394959 My niece (9) is very emotionally absent and I (24) want to help

Hey guys, so my brother (28) and I (24) come from an extremely abusive poor household. We only had our mom who was an alcoholic and physically/emotionally abusive our entire lives. I’ve put a lot of effort into therapy and healing from my mental illness for 7 years because I deeply want to break the generational trauma cycle. However, my brother got his girlfriend pregnant at 19, and they now have two children. He hasn’t had the time or resources to get therapy and his girlfriend also grew up in an abusive home. They’re not heavily abusive to the kids, but definitely negligent in certain areas and both have large room for improvement with emotional regulation and communication. My niece and nephew are regularly met with reactive anger over menial things. They have also witnessed many explosive traumatic arguments between them and my mother since they were both very young.
My niece is 9 now and we’re very close. She deeply looks up to me as her idol. I’ve taken care of her since she was an infant and she comes to have sleep overs at my house a lot. It breaks my heart because she’s so emotionally closed off. She has a lot of issues with talking about her emotions or anything serious without being dismissive or making jokes out of it. I’ve told her before that if anything was ever going on, I wouldn’t violate her trust and that I’m always here for her. I really want to help her learn to express her emotions healthily. I don’t want to force anything, but she’s not in the best situation, and I want to help her however I can. The last thing I want is for her to feel the way I did growing up. I want to be the supportive extended family that we never had growing up. Does anybody have any advice?
submitted by anon394959 to AskParents [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 04:03 thro_away775281 Need advice on how to deal with my (23F) husband’s (23M) Narcissistic family.

Ok, first time poster here with no karma, but I promice I’m not a troll. Just a girl looking for advice.
Heres the rundown: I’ve been with my husband for 8 years going on 9. Married for 5. No kids yet… At the beginning of our relationship, it was like a movie. We got along better than most people. We were both raised pretty old school and don’t identify much with others our age. I lost both my parents as a teenager and come from a rough upbringing in general. Ive had the proper trauma therapy I needed, and still continue to go weekly. Him on the other hand, has ptsd from his upbringing and a very turbulent relationship with his mother. Ive always tried to help him form a better relationship with her, but no mother likes to hear that she makes her son feel like absolute garbage. He joined the armed services and thats why we got married so young. (don’t come @ me with saying im stupid because there is love here. its clear as day.) Our friends ask us for advice because they see us as “the power couple”, but don’t know about what happens behind the scenes. His mom and a couple other family members have done everything they can to measle their way in-between and sabotage just about every milestone a married couple has. They constantly tell him im not good enough. They even insult me to my face. Also, said witches caused us to be homeless a few times because they “simply don’t like me”. Its caused the both of us to become more distant and depressed lately. Its ruining our personal life in every aspect because of the control he allows his family to have over him constantly. Its almost like he allows them to dictate his life. We don’t drink, no drug use, Work 40+ hours a week in good jobs. I don’t want to walk away, but the fighting is getting so bad I don’t know what to do anymore. Its never physical, just verbal. I figured here was a good place to start looking for answers.
TL;DR Narcissistic In-laws doing everything they can to get husband to leave me. Becoming very emotionally and mentally draining and need advice.
submitted by thro_away775281 to relationships [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 03:56 Firm_Fortune_264 Knees facing outward

Hello,
My grandma has had knee pain for a while and doesn’t know if she needs surgery or medication/physical therapy. She can’t afford an osteopathic surgeon to consult and quite frankly don’t know if they would be the right doctors.
She is 69 years old. She walks but is always in pain and can only walk in short distances. Wherever we go she always tries to find a place to sit and always says it’s her knees. I don’t know if it’s arthritis or if she needs surgery. Since I can’t upload a photos I’ll try my best to describe her condition.
Her knees are bent outward severely. She looks like her legs are about to snap from the knees. She visited a doctor in a different country who suggested she had the last stage of arthritis. We just don’t know if she needs knee replacement or just medicine.
Thanks in advance for all the help!
submitted by Firm_Fortune_264 to AskDocs [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 03:51 jay-the-ghost How am I supposed to process my trauma if it's so hard to think about?

I experienced emotional, mental, verbal, and physical abuse from a person I love(d) very very much and the abuse lasted for a few years. It's been even longer since I got out of the relationship but I still carry so much of the pain. Plus I've been diagnosed with PTSD from it. I've been in therapy for a long time already. My progress is slow but it's there.
I don't know how I'm supposed to process what happened to me. When I think about it I feel sick. The only time I feel okay is when I forget. I can't forget it for very long but I try really hard not to think about it, at least.
In therapy I mostly talk about what I can do now to help myself. Should I try to spend more time talking about what happened? I don't even know if that would help. I don't even know how long that would take. And I don't know if I want to make my therapist listen to all the details of everything. I feel like that might lead me to breaking down in a session and I know that might be a good thing but I'm uncomfortable getting to that point... Do I need to just let myself open up and risk breaking down?
What do you all suggest? What has helped you?
submitted by jay-the-ghost to CPTSD [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 03:43 bunger6 Haven’t received settlement offer after 5 months

Last fall I was injured by car as a pedestrian. Their insurance admitted fault and have covered all the property damage already and reimbursed. I got a concussion and have neck pain and have been going to physical and occupational therapy since. Is it weird I haven’t received a final settlement offer yet? I am hoping for atleast a little pain and suffering but they haven’t made any effort to close these claim yet. Should I ask them about this?
submitted by bunger6 to Insurance [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 03:41 2LiveIsParamount Lower Back Injury - Similar to Tiger Woods

Does anyone know the recovery time for a lower back injury?
Does anyone know of any physical therapy exercises to do?
Lower back pain is like pinching if the nerves, very painful feeling. Pain sitting down.
submitted by 2LiveIsParamount to golf [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 03:34 Dub_J Wife behavior

I (41M) married 12y to 42F wife, with 2 kids (9/11). We have a number of issues.. some have been resolved (through my effort and initiative) and some haven't. I have a very happy life, and am quite skilled at enjoying life even if she won't, and I love the time with the kids, but if we had no kids, I don't think I would the marriage is worth keeping. I'd love to improve our marriage, but not sure it can be when she is not very focused.
About her - she suffers from anxiety, and is on medicine for it. Many issues stem from it, including difficulty with startup for sex, oversensitivity to noise, and a tendency to over-react to things. She is also daughter of a narcasist, and grew up in a household where her stepmom yelled to get things her way. Many of her problems I trace to that, and she shows some light narcassistic behaviors - for example being very controlling, not open to feedback, and blaming all problems on others. Lastly, she is a functional alcoholic, drinking 5+ IPAs a day. She "handles it well" although I do think she tends to anger quickly, and it likely reinforces anxiety. Unsurprisingly, she gaining weight from it.. I am still attracted to her physically, but less attracted mentally because she isn't willing to improve herself. She also shows little interest in self-care that most people would consider to lower stress (e.g. exercise, hobbies) and of course isn't interested in my advice (I've learned to not offer), and as a result is constently feeling overwhelmed
We married sort of young (25) and I certainly wasnt very smart about what to look for at that age. To the degree we have a decent marriage, it's luck that we grew together, and not from any smart process at the start. I am son of a racassist, and early in our relationship I was codependent towards her, though I have since grown out of that.
Our issues:
1) She is quick to anger, and will yell at me or the kids. It's not frequent, I wouldnt call it abuse, and she has improved a lot. It's mostly linked to lack of sleep. But it's totally unacceptable, and shows how little she respects me. when i point this out, she is prone to gaslight, redirect, or whatabout. She will sometimes finally acknolwedge and correct, but it's frustrating that it takes so much effort on my part, and that it repeats.
2) Sex life has been at it's best recently (because I actively corrected our issues - including removing stress, scheduled date nights, and weed) but some things havent and wont improve - she wont initiate, and isnt open to straing off the usual routing. So I would say I am getting my sexual needs met, but it's not creating a feeling of being wanted and loved. She's also very selfish.. if she comes, she will shut down (become a dead fish, ask if I am done yet, etc). She gets very wet, and let's say i have improved my staying power. I would need to adjust positions for friction (e.g. doggy) which she doesnt prefer. Just not the open, safe and exploratory space I would want.
3) I don't feel super connected to her. I have a pretty intellectual inner life.. reading, consuming thoughful media, etc. She's not interested. We intersect in certain areas, and do have similar worldviews, e.g. we are both not overly materialistic. If I was envisioning my perfect partner now, it wouldn't be her.
4) she isnt particular nice or affectionate. I'll hear about what i need to do, what i should have done, etc. but very little
5) I hate to say it but she is just lazy. She does her share of chores,but if it is her turn for dinner she orders in. Without fail. I dont see above issues improving because they take effort. She rejects all advice or accountability
My resolution for now - I am lucky to have a lovely life, have lots of hobbies, very active with my kids, and enjoy nice vacations. I don't want to blow up our life. She is a great mom, and contributes to our community. I enjoy her company on date nights. I consume my share of porn to tolerate dry spells. I smoke weed, and focus on the positives. Every now and then I discuss these issues, it takes a lot for me now, becuase its high effort and low ROI. I dont give her advice or try to change her.
We did therapy in the past, and she of course hated it
tl;dr - My wife drinks too much, is not invested in relationship, and has no interest in self improvement. I just focus on my life and kids, but wish we were more connected
submitted by Dub_J to marriageadvice [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 03:28 LuckyBuilder69 [WTS] FML Sale, Round 3, Blizzard Edition! New stuff, more price drops! Kryptek Highlander Bundle, Surefire Warcomp (5.56), Midwest AK Handguard, Slings, 5.56 & 7.62 NATO Headspace Gauges, Iron Sights, AR Mag Bundle, 10/22 Stuff, Glock Parts Bundle, Sig M-Lok Bayonet Mount, Tapco Wrench, & More!

Need funds to stay warm in the blizzard. Free shipping over $50. The more things you buy the better deal you get. Open to negotiate prices, not open to being low balled (you know who you are). Comment and then PM. My Reddit app is being dumb and I'm not getting all my messages, if I don't respond or the convo goes dead, either chat me or resend your last message. If you're local to me (AZ) and pick something up (over $50), I'll knock a few bucks off the price to account for saving on shipping.

 

Midwest & BFG AK Handguard/Sling Bundle

$135 takes it all or parting it for the prices below PIC here
 

Camillus Heathen Fixed Blade

Made in USA, 5.5" 1095 High Carbon Steel Tanto Blade, 10 3/8" overall length(full tang), powder coating, blade thickness of 1/8", tan micarta handle with double screw rivets and a lanyard hole. Includes a kydex sheath,1.75" Blade Tech Clip, and a couple of malice clips in case you want to mount this to a battle/shooting belt. In perfect condition, opened a box or two with it, but that's it. Sells for $150 new, **looking for ~~$100 $90 $80**. PICS here~~  

Marsupial Gear Multicam Bino Harness, Large

PICS here Great piece of gear to keep your binos safe and close for hunting, spotting, etc. Lots of padding and has a magnetic closure system that keeps your binos sealed up tight. Has a molle section on the bottom, mesh pocket on the back, a small stretch pocket on each side, and a zipper pocket up front. Never used it as a harness so the straps are brand new, no noticeable wear. Can also attach to backpacks.
They sell new for $130 plus tax and shipping, looking for $110 $100 $90  

10/22 Stuff

Buy both as a bundle for $325 $315
 

Plate Carrier Accessories

 

Kryptek Highlander Bundle

All Kryptek brand, all Highlander pattern. The only things ever worn were the jacket a couple times and the long sleave shirt, everything else is new. No wear or tear, everything retails for well over $575 looking for $300 PIC here
 

AR Stuff

 

Tools

Buy everything below for $110 or individually, PIC here
* Tapco Armorer's Wrench $25 * Clymer 5.56 Nato Headspace Gauge Set (Go/No Go) $50 * Forster 7.62 Nato Headspace Gauge Set (Go/No Go) $50
 

Glock Stuff Bundle

Everything below for $50 PIC here
 

Random Stuff

submitted by LuckyBuilder69 to GunAccessoriesForSale [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 03:23 NebNegreb I got into a car accident today because I was emotionally distracted.

For context, I'm a 25 year old man and I currently live with my parents. I feel like I've been going through a rough patch for awhile, and don't really know what to do. I went to school for a useless degree in TV/media, and while I work full time at a local TV station, it's a dead-end job and I'm working nights. I don't really know what I want to do with my life, and I've lost a lot of passion since graduating 3 years ago.
I've been a late bloomer in just about every aspect of my life. It took me until almost 23 to even get my driver's license, I've never moved out on my own, never dated anyone seriously before (or even experienced physical affection outside of family), etc.
When I first started driving, I had gotten into two accidents about a month in between the two, drove fine for a year, then got into a third the following year. After the third accident I put a lot of effort into improving my driving. I even downloaded an app from my insurance account that tracks your driving and lets you know how you're doing, and (until today) I was doing great.
For the past few days my mind's been all over the place. I've been worrying about a career, dating, a lot of personal things that would probably be better to save for therapy. Admittedly, on the drive home from the grocery I was ruminating on these issues pretty heavily. Making a left turn into our neighborhood, I looked before I hit the gas, but obviously wasn't paying full attention because I got in an accident. I was pretty close to hitting another flawless year, too. Surprisingly, despite it almost being a head-on collision nobody was injured, and the cop must have noticed I was having an awful day because he didn't put a mark on my record at all. Just gave me a ticket with a $100 fine and told me I had to pay it by X date. I still felt like a complete idiot, standing on the side of the road, basically crying while everyone drove past because I was so disappointed in myself.
My dad tried to make me feel better by pointing out the fact that even though my insurance will likely go up further, at the end of the year my first 2 accidents fall off the insurance, and I have plenty of money to pay for my repairs. This doesn't change the fact that I've been beating myself up over it for the past six hours. I'm going back to therapy next week, and I might honestly give ADHD medication a try, if they recommend it. Maybe it will help me out a little bit.
I think I'm just frustrated because I'm tired of living with my parents, working a dead end job. I'm tired of being an anxious mess because of my childhood, which wasn't even that bad. I just want to move out on my own, be alone for awhile, and take time to figure myself out.
TL;DR: After a few minor accidents years ago and making improvements in my driving skills, I got in a big accident today because my anxiety and worries have been in the back of my head all day. Nobody got hurt, the other driver and the cop didn't make a big deal out of it, and the only real outcome is my monthly insurance will likely go up for the rest of the year, but I feel like a complete idiot.
submitted by NebNegreb to rant [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 03:19 VegaVisions We Can't Bear the Thought of Losing You

We Can't Bear the Thought of Losing You

We Can't Bear the Thought of Losing You 1053 words 8.1 minutes
My wife and I waited to die. That's what parents do when their kid is a blessed one: they die.
This series of events has played out multiple times in the past: The blessed one forms a bond with their teachers and friends, and eventually, will learn how to overcome the evil that left them an orphan.
Clara and I preferred to leave this world a swift and painless way. Being struck by a powerful dark magic spell, for instance, or a sharp axe to the neck. If we are unfortunate, then we might perish slowly in the hands of a villain as they try to syphon vital knowledge about our child.
I lifted stones every morning since Clara was pregnant with Bailey. I exercised to stay in shape, but over time my practice allowed me to become the neighborhood’s strongman. Could my strength thwart fate? No, but it would at least allow me to knock out several of her teeth.
My daughter’s school headmaster was the first to give us the awful news.
“The academy’s staff decided your daughter’s potion and alchemy crafting abilities stretch beyond exceptional. In fact, the school nurse frequently uses dozens of her remedies,” he said.
Clara and I smiled. Our little girl was going to better the realm.
The headmaster continued, “I must advise, our current king is not well. Rubbish politics plagued the court with each chancellor trying to off another for his favor. One proposed a blessed child will lead a rebellion against the throne. At first, the king chuckled at the thought that such a child would be present in his lifetime, but he grew worried after the idea baked into his mind. He now hunts children who boasts any skills that may cause a threat to his reign.”
“Do you believe she’s gifted enough to be blessed?” I asked.
The headmaster nodded.
“Outside her talent, Bailey is close to a small group of diverse friends. They will aid her as she grows up and overcomes life’s woes. Including our power hungry king, your daughter owns the ingredients to become the next blessed child. All except for one.”
Clara and I pouted.
“Is there any way that part can be left out?” Clara asked.
The headmaster frowned. “Fate is steered by the Higher Grace, and not once has He allowed the parents to live in this scenario.”
Clara teared up and clenched my hand. “We don’t want to die. We’ve talked about hiking mountains and seeing plays. My husband has always wanted to learn martial arts, and I’ve wanted to learn how to play the viola. People believe parenthood is a finish line – that their entire life is wholly tethered to their child. But that’s far from the truth, we have our own dreams in addition to raising Bailey.”
“I understand how you feel,” the headmaster said but we argued that statement. The old man owned more decades than most people in the kingdom. He’s lived a feast, but as a young couple, Clara and I had only eaten samples.
The old man allowed us lash out against his news. He spoke after we grew fatigue from crying.
“As you know, other’s will be in dangers way until you two perish. But there is a way to keep them safe until you fulfill your fate.”
----------
The headmaster had a cabin built for us a few miles outside a secluded town. That way, there would be less collateral damage to nearby citizens if the king raided our new home.
It took living near the small village for five years before Clara and I felt comfortable enough to loosen our parenting grip. We enrolled Bailey in a local school two miles west. We knew and trusted the community to raise her after our encounter with fate.
Clara and I took shelter in our cabin when our daughter attended school. We expected that would be the prime moment for the king to strike. Our child would discover her home set ablaze with our charred bodies trapped inside. She’d weep and scream curses to the Higher Grace, and after many years, she’d avenge our death. Her life story was as predictable as a simple math equation.
Every night, we awaited our daughter to return home. The waiting became the hardest part during the short days of winter. The absent sun exasperated boredom. I practiced the Oxen Way – a defensive martial arts tailored for people who excelled in strength than agility – to pass the time. Clara taught herself how to play the viola. Horribly, that is. Every note emitted a high frequency scream as if Clara’s hands caused the instrument pain.
One evening, Clara went to the front window and strained her eyes.
“Is there a festival tonight? There’s a strange sliver of orange glowing over the town,” she said.
A sinking feeling in my chest appeared. Sweat formed on my forehead. I rushed towards the front door and stepped outside. I looked closer at that distant orange stain. It wasn’t accompanied by music, cheering, or any joyous sounds.
There was only silence.
My god, did we do this all wrong? I thought to myself.
I ran westward; Clara followed with a medicine kit. We reached the town in thirty minutes, but we were too late. Deceased bodies scattered around pillaged buildings. The king's frayed banners stood tall on top of ashes.
I screamed my daughter’s name but only produced a whisper. I drew in a short breath and continued running towards the school.
---------- ----------
Clara bawled when she saw me carry Bailey’s limp body. She took out the medicine kit and scrambled to apply our daughter’s handmade miracles, but it was too late. Bailey had passed for some time now. Her remedies were meant for the unwell, not the dead.
Clara and I wept for the rest of the night. When the sun rose, we were the ones who cursed the Higher Grace. When has an evil king slayed a blessed child? Why did Bailey have to be the first? The idea of my daughter passing never crossed my mind. It was a thought too heavy for me to carry.
We left the village and hiked our way back to our cabin. Like us, it physically remained unscathed.
submitted by VegaVisions to VegaVisions [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 03:06 SirBearOfBrown At a loss at what to do

About 6 months ago, my father had an major stroke which left him unresponsive for over a month. Since then, he’s been bouncing between different care facilities and hospitals. The longest he stayed in one location was three months at a long-term acute care facility, but unfortunately he was subject to patient neglect. I’m talking nobody checking on him, leaving him in his filth, and not doing any physical therapy when they were supposed to do it multiple days a week.
He has since regained his voice but is still bed bound and fighting a massive bed sore on his bottom, which further interferes with any physical therapy. Unfortunately, we just got word that his Medicare insurance will no longer cover his stay and we’re worried that since we can’t afford it, they will kick him out. We’re equal parts frustrated about finding out about this surprise massive bill, and frustrated how that one facility cost us so much time.
We’re exhausted, defeated, and at this we’re not even sure what to do. He has Medicare already, and we’ve been told Medicaid is an option but this place doesn’t accept Medicaid. Does anyone have any other advice as to what other options there are or what we could do?
submitted by SirBearOfBrown to stroke [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 03:01 joancrawfordfanclub My resident spouse needs therapy. Any tips on how to help him help himself?

I've avoided pushing him in the direction of a mental health intervention for a long time. His program isn't pro-therapy, and his resident colleagues think the local bar replaces the need for a psychologist. I am very pro-therapy and psychiatry. I believe that everyone can benefit from it. My husband suffers from burnout thanks in a large part to the pandemic. We live in one of the most heavily impacted areas of the US. The burnout has manifested as anger, insomnia, and aggression. I can tell that the anxiety he is constantly dealing with is impacting not only his mental, but his physical health. Bottom line, he needs to see someone.
Any advice on how to coax him into making the decision to seek mental help?
submitted by joancrawfordfanclub to MedSpouse [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 03:00 ThrowRAComplexClean How can I (F18) trust my (M19) boyfriend better?

I've (F18) known my boyfriend (M19) since my sophomore year in high school. We dated for a month and broke up because we were long-distance and it was hard to deal with. We kept in touch constantly and our feelings for each other were very much still there. So, one random day in the summertime this year we got together again and we are still long distance. We've been together for about 5 months now.
He has a history of lying and cheating. He never has cheated on me, to my knowledge. He has definitely lied and done some shady things. For example, at the beginning of our relationship, he logged into his Match.com account and looked at the people liking him. He claims he didn't do anything past this and from what I saw, he didn't. He was also talking to someone he had met, they called him "Baby" and loved his message, and he said, "Thank you". Didn't mention the fact that he had a girlfriend but I think he did block the girl after I saw the message, or it was before. I do not remember that part too well. He also had a bunch of pictures of his exes in his camera roll, stuff he definitely should've deleted. He claims he didn't know they were there because he never really looks back at his camera roll. He also was going to dorm parties, and his ex would show up, which he claimed he left early but failed to tell me. There's definitely more that just isn't coming to mind. Most of this all happened in the beginning/middle of our relationship. Due to this, and his tendency to forget to tell me things very frequently, or say he told me when he didn't, It has been hard to feel like he's being honest. His dad also has the tendency to say he said something when he didn't, apparently.
He feels that no matter what, I don't believe him. And I admit it is very hard to believe him unless I see proof myself. We've been arguing a lot more, basically every day. I'm not sure what to do to trust him more, especially since we're long-distance.
I do love him very much and want to try to make it work but this, amongst other things, has put a severe strain on the relationship. I will add that I've told him if he wants to see others physically he can since we're long-distance and he says that he doesn't want to do because he doesn't want to hurt me, can't even think about sex with others, and feels it isn't the right path. He was very apologetic about everything, and he seems to have improved his behavior but I'm afraid he hasn't and he's just hiding it. He is in therapy as well. Our relationship is great besides this issue and some other small things. How can I trust him more, or should I even?
submitted by ThrowRAComplexClean to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.02.03 02:55 ThrowRA231908457234 (28M) My girlfriend (26F) no longer wants to have sex

This might turn into word vomit, thank you in advance for sticking with me!
My girlfriend and I have been dating for going on 6 years next month, and for the most part things have been great. We get along well, have similar hobbies/interests, and my family adores her (which hasn't always been the case in past relationships.) We've been basically living together for about 6 months, no real major hiccups. We met years ago at a minimum wage job and have watched each other grow and advance in our careers.
About a year ago, she confronted me and said she no longer wants to have sex anymore until we're married, citing religious reasons. Mind you, we've been having sex almost daily for multiple years at this point. This was really hard for me because I find that to be a very important aspect of a relationship. She also mentioned that it was difficult for her, but it was something she felt she needed to do. We compromised and decided we would only do it on special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, etc. I tried my hardest to make it work, but it's been so difficult for me.
Roughly 6 months ago was our anniversary, and there was a lot of pain for her when we tried. So we stopped having sex entirely and have been taking care of each others needs in other ways. She's started physical therapy for the pain, but there has been no progress, and she's been constantly missing or rescheduling the appointments. Not even a month later, she tells me she's asexual, and would prefer we never do it again, or at most like once a month. My world shattered.
Fast forward to now. She has been constantly asking me about marriage, asking me when I'm going to propose. She will constantly drop hints about it. Even recently she straight up yelled at me asking when we're going to get married, she was so upset at me that she started crying out of frustration. I don't think I can really pursue marriage if I'm not getting my sexual needs met. Every time I try to being up the idea of sex, she says I need to respect her boundaries.
I guess my question is, am I an asshole for not wanting to get married just over sex? Are my feelings valid? Every time I've considered a breakup or trying to start the conversation, part of me is like "we've made it this far, why not keep going?" But that's not the dynamic I want. I don't want a sexless marriage.
TLDR: Girlfriend decided she no longer wants to have sex, first citing religion, then pain, then being asexual. What should I do?
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2023.02.03 02:54 justyourautisticgirl You shouldn't WANT to have as much LGBT labels or disorders as humanly possible.

I have autism, illness anxiety disordehypochondriasis, and OCD. I've struggled with severe OCD in the past (I'm in therapy and I'm on good meds now) and holy shit I couldn't focus on anything because of my obsessive thinking. I'm diagnosed with other disorders too but honestly I'm beginning to wonder if those disorders were just my hypochondria convincing me there was something horribly wrong with me again, but that's another topic. Everything became an obsession for me. I struggle to focus on anything because my illness anxiety disorder is constantly trying to convince me that there's something horribly wrong with me, physically or mentally. I hate how having multiple mental conditions is now seen as cool, it's frustrating as hell.
Or how hoarding hundreds of xenogenders and neopronouns makes you more q#eer now. Nothing makes me write off a person more than something like that. I'm so glad I just think of myself as bisexual instead of trying to collect as much labels as humanly possible. I don't want to be defined by my bisexuality or my mental issues. I'm so much more than that.
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2023.02.03 02:53 justyourautisticgirl You shouldn't WANT to have as much LGBT labels or disorders as humanly possible.

I have autism, illness anxiety disordehypochondriasis, and OCD. I've struggled with severe OCD in the past (I'm in therapy and I'm on good meds now) and holy shit I couldn't focus on anything because of my obsessive thinking. I'm diagnosed with other disorders too but honestly I'm beginning to wonder if those disorders were just my hypochondria convincing me there was something horribly wrong with me again, but that's another topic. Everything became an obsession for me. I struggle to focus on anything because my illness anxiety disorder is constantly trying to convince me that there's something horribly wrong with me, physically or mentally. I hate how having multiple mental conditions is now seen as cool, it's frustrating as hell.
Or how hoarding hundreds of xenogenders and neopronouns makes you more q#eer now. Nothing makes me write off a person more than something like that. I'm so glad I just think of myself as bisexual instead of trying to collect as much labels as humanly possible. I don't want to be defined by my bisexuality or my mental issues. I'm so much more than that.
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2023.02.03 02:41 Ok_Slice2124 Counter point to the Deaccl Curve

Counter point to the Deaccl Curve

https://preview.redd.it/zb5q8t88bvfa1.png?width=1009&format=png&auto=webp&s=9eb9203112b022c47ad0c1b3d292570bf9e005ca
Quick note, I use 12800 dpi so that is why there is a sens multiplier. Use 1 if you have 1600 dpi. The low point of the sens starts at 57.727 cm/360 aka a 1.5 sens in OW.

I have used mouse accl fairly regularly for nearly 2 years. I turn it off every once in a while for a good stretch of time and seem to always come back to it. I don't believe mouse accl is some secret to good aim as a preface. Actually I believe the opposite, for 99% of players, it will make your aim shit. See the way mouse accl works, sure it can magnify the good in your aim, but also it can magnify the bad. Jitters in your aim, with accl they will be amplified. A bad flick is now so wide its unbelievable. But if you have good aim, you can have quick corrections, and smoothing, and ROM all at the same time.

I started with the typical approach to try to make accl feel as close to a fixed sens as possible. I used offsets, 2 level type curves, slow to accl curves, etc. What I found though is that you need to embrace the accl to actually see benefits. A natural gain curve feels the best, utilizing that extra rom by starting with a super low sens, but also not pushing the curve too wide from the slowest to fastest. You need to adapt your aim to work with accl. Some adaptations I noticed.

1.) I heavily rely on smoothing and control to make accl work.
2.) My swipes push towards the max speed I can physically manage, this is actually a good form of laziness. You learn that if you want to put the least effort in total, you really need to make speedy swipes. This is great for your aim.
3.) Again noting that the difference between a the max and mins of the curve is not too wide. Wide curves CAN work but it becomes hard to really feel the curve's shape and intuitively aim with it. Usually just a little widening of the range of effective sens is enough.
4.) Flicks are completely doable on a curve. I have 3 main aim styles. Plant shooting where its all about the click and minimal movements. Soft tracking where the flick that you then have to make is small. Or sharp flicks. Sharp flicks are harder to master. You saturate the top of the curve but what I find is again the faster you reach that, the better. An oddity in my approach is that I also press into my mouse pad are counter tense my muscles to really stop and go into the slow part of the curve at the end of the flick. I feel you need a high level of visual acuity to make this work. I see or sense the amount I have wide flicked and then see the shot at it slows down so that I can click at the right time or micro adjust the end portion to make a shot.

That is pretty much all there is too it. Precision when you need it, speed when you don't.
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2023.02.03 02:19 Betty-Adams [Humans are Weird] - Part 62 - Lava - Part 63 - Trees are for Climbing - Short, Absurd, Science Fiction Stories

[Humans are Weird] - Part 62 - Lava - Part 63 - Trees are for Climbing - Short, Absurd, Science Fiction Stories
https://preview.redd.it/bwe87kcu9vfa1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be95fe12b4048a75c32a14c18a980d4acb2cf96e

Humans are Weird – Lava

“So the commander of the central flight wants to make a formal ceremony of the act of gratitude,” Forty-five Clicks informed the human who was busily strapping something onto his legs. “He-“
Forty-five Clicks stopped speaking as he realized exactly what the human had been trying on. Just to make sure he flew up to the top of the backpack the human was loading and chirped in, sounding the fragrant depths.
“Why are you packing up this personal heat shielding?” Forty-five Clicks demanded.
He wasn’t sure why all the fur on his body stood on end but by the gum of the mother tree he had learned to trust that instinct.
“I need it to get the samples,” the human replied cheerfully.
Forty-five Clicks wasn’t one to perch on ceremony, even by the loose standards of his people. He leapt up and threw all of his forty grams of mass in the face of the human and dug his winghooks into the soft flesh under the human’s ears. This let him glare furiously into one of the cavernous pupils of the larger mammal.
“What. Samples?” Forty-five Clicks demanded.
“Of the lava,” the human said quickly. “Hey, winghooks man.”
“Why?” Forty-five Clicks pressed.
“For fun,” the human replied.
“Where are you going to get lava from?” Forty-five Clicks demanded as slowly as he could.
“That volcano that just popped,” the human replied, gesturing in what Forty-five Clicks assumed was meant to be the direction of the former mountain.
It wasn’t. How did they survive in nature on their own the poor directionless things?
“The volcano,” Forty-five Clicks said. “The one that nearly killed three flights. The one that took down not only our silverwing atmospheric flyers but also one of your near indestructible helicopters. The one that utterly destroyed hectares of land. The one that is currently spewing ash, gas, and liquid magma.”
“It isn’t magma after it gets to the surface!” The human insisted.
Forty-five Clicks groaned and loosed the human. He slid down the human’s chest until he was caught in the broad hand. The hand that was covered in scars so thick any one of them would have utterly incapacitated his wings, and a fresh cut that he knew the human had gained in the rescue operation. Forty-five Clicks sighed and rubbed his eyes.
“You are not going to collect magma-“
“Lava.” The human corrected hopefully.
“Lava samples from the volcano.” Forty-Five Clicks said as firmly as he could. “For fun.”
“And why not?” demanded the human.
“I just can’t right now,” Forty-five Clicks said. “Just go ask the commander.”
“Will do then,” the human said cheerfully as he set off.
Forty-five Clicks flew up and passed over the backpack once again. He glared at the thermal armor. He had assumed it was only for rescue missions. His mistake.
https://preview.redd.it/yl29nxbx9vfa1.png?width=501&format=png&auto=webp&s=c1754f91d56a313f8369fa4758ed5c678b7517e7

Humans are Weird – Trees are for Climbing

Seven Trills fluttered along the outdoor recreation area just over the soft green groundcover as he listened to his assistant. The larger Winged was going over the list of guests that would be attending the opening of the new consulate. Seven Trills tried to pay attention but the scorching heat of Sol was stinging his sensory horns dreadfully. He wondered how his assistant was ignoring it. He angled himself over to one of the solitary trees the humans kept in the area hoping for shade. His assistant followed willingly and Seven Trills soon perched on an exposed root in the clear area around the trees base.
“And I think it would be best if we instituted a general search protocol to avoid insult to the delegate.” His assistant said.
“Oh yes, yes,” Seven Trills replied.
His assistant was annoyingly, persistently right about these things. The protective shade provided by the tree was suddenly disturbed by a movement in the branches over head and both Seven Trills and his assistant angled their eyes up to see what had made the disturbance in the oppressively still air.
“Is that a human?” Seven Trills asked.
“Is that human spying on us?” his assistant demanded.
Seven Trills heaved a sigh and took flight. His assistant followed.
“How would he know we would come to this tree?” Seven Trills asked.
“Ping,” the assistant granted him.
They had now reached the human and any question was put to rest. The human had braced his massive form against the trunk and branches and was blissfully sleeping away. His arms were sprawled over other branches. Seven Trills grabbed a handy perch and swung down to a resting position. His assistant joined him shortly.
“I don’t think we should risk waking him,” his assistant said in a tone they had determined humans couldn’t hear.
“A fall from this height would be disastrous for a human,” Seven Trills said.
What the human was doing here at all was the question.
“I checked the duty roster against his name,” the assistant said after a moment spent working at his tablet. “This human is in a rest and recreation period but due to the increased security he can’t leave the base.”
“Bored humans,” Seven Trills suggested.
“The base has more entertainment options than any of the surrounding communities,” his assistant pointed out.
At this point the human’s heart rate accelerated in the way that usually proceeded waking and both Winged fell silent. The human twitched, stretched, and yawned. His eyes opened revealing interwoven blue and green irises contrasting his deep black pupils. The colorful muscles dilated and contracted a few moments before he focused on them.
“Hey,” the human said, pulling his lips up in a smile.
“Greetings,” Seven Trills said. “Perhaps you can satisfy our curiosity.”
“Sure?” the human replied.
“What are you doing up here?” the assistant demanded.
The human glanced down at the ground far below and then up at him. He face seemed to pass between confusion and curiosity a few times and then he showed all of his teeth.
“Trees are for climbing little friend. Trees are for climbing.”
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2023.02.03 02:16 notyourmumsy Is this trauma? I need help guys

Every once and a while I feel like all the things I’m doing or want to do doesn’t have any value and then I lose interests in them. I have no clue if that means I don’t find value in myself. I was talking to my husband how I felt I haven’t accomplished enough and he pointed to our child because I ate insanely healthy and have been very proactive on her mental and physical health, she’s a very happy child. I got a degree before then and shortly after a certificate in graphic design but it didn’t fill me with the purpose I’ve been looking for. The only time I did have purpose was when I was out with my friends partying back in the day or dating a bunch of guys but I know that is just toxic and I finally got to a good place where I’m safe and healthy but something feels off. And I’ve been working out every time this feeling washes over me and I’ve become more sober to not fill the time. Im a stay at home mom and although working would keep me busy it wouldn’t make me happy. I just feel like I’m filled with empty feelings these days and I’m fighting off depression. Nothing I do in life keeps me confident in myself. I know that means I have to do more work on therapy but I’ve done 12 years and I’m about to start EMDR. I just cannot simply find my self worth in myself. Self affirmations seem to fall flat these days.
:(
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